Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Music Monday

February 7, 2011

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blizzard pics for some talk about music. :-)

Many moons ago I started listening to music at night as a way of helping me go to sleep. I had a little portable radio and it was perfect in our London flat. The year we moved back to the states, I asked for a stereo system. Do you remember those? It had a record player, a radio, and (I think) a cassette player. Everything I could want. I had already started collecting 45’s and now my collection was about to really grow. I spent alot of time with that stereo listening to music in my room and daydreaming my days away as only a teenage girl can.

The years went by and I moved out on my own and my stereo and now 300 count singles collection went with me. Whenever I was down, I played my favorite songs to listen to, sing to, cry to. Music has always had a place in my heart since I started listening to it, and even more so now that I was on my own and making my way through the world by myself.

More years went by and I married and then started to have children. Once the kids came along I was too busy to spend time sitting around with my stereo daydreaming and so my music went by the wayside for a few years. Then, one day, a few years down the road, I started listening to the radio again and I started to pull my records out again and listening to them. Well, trying to listen to them. My singles were mostly scratched and dusty and did not play well anymore – if at all. One day I made the decision to put them on the curb because, “I don’t really need them anymore”. Some of the songs only served to remind me of time and relationships gone by and I didn’t want to re-live that anymore. Or so I thought. Not to mention that cd’s had started to arrived – a whole new type of record – so out those singles went. All 300 of them. *sigh*

When I started to listen to music again, I also started to go to vintage record stores to pick up cd’s of albums I once had and started listening to them again. Those cd’s were like little time capsules – could pop one in and go back in time to a place I had long forgotten. It was again soothing to me. I decided to start collecting my favorites again so I’d have them to listen to. Some days I pined away for those singles I put on the curb, but there was no way to get them back. Not yet.

More years go by and technology had bumped up a notch and now there was digital music. It is amazing to me how far all this has come and now we can put hundreds of songs on little tiny players instead of dragging around big boom boxes (raise your hand if you remember those – hehe). One day I decided to check out Napster to see what all the buzz was about and found that I could replace my singles by buying mp3’s of the songs!! And so the collecting started once again not denying my inner self who put all she had into those songs – memories, emotions, dreams – it’s all there. My first act was to start replacing my 80’s collection and over the last few years I have pulled together a good collection of my favorites from that time. It is wonderful to hear those songs again and memories (and tears) come spilling out when I hear some of them for the first time in 20 or more years.

After I collected my songs I wanted to get them off my computer and in a format I could take with me so I had the kids show me how to burn cd’s. Well, that’s easy! Now I not only know how to burn cd’s but also to sync the music to my mp3 player. It’s not quite like having singles stacked on a spindle on a record player, but it works. My new “albums” have names like “Mom’s Music” and “80’s Summer Mix” and it is so much fun singing along in the car to all my singles again.

Where is all this leading to you might ask? Well, a few months ago I lost someone special to me and it has been really hard to deal with. So, what did I do? I put all my mp3’s on my player one day and that night I put on the headset and listened to my music – just like I used to do all those eons ago when I was younger. It has been therapeutic for me to do this and I can think, cry, and sometimes just listen to the music and words without thinking about anything at all.

So now it seems it has all come full circle and I am good with that. It is fitting and right to do that again.

If you’re wondering, I’m mostly done collecting my 80’s songs and I’m ready to move on to the next decade – the 70’s. Disco will live again – bwahahahaha!

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Weight Loss Goal Progress

February 3, 2011

I thought I’d update as each month passes as to how I’m doing on my weight loss goals for the year. As you know my goal is to lose 60lbs in 12 months and I’m taking small steps to get there. I want to find out where my problems are and make the necessary changes in habits that will stick for life. Am I still going to eat chocolate? You bet! Am I still going to enjoy coffee and other foods? Yes – food isn’t the enemy (most of the time anyway), it is necessary for survival. It’s just that some of us use food in ways we’re not supposed to. I have used chocolate as a way to block pain in much the same way as an alcoholic does. Luckily that habit is on the way out. When I made the connection last year of what I was doing, I was able to finally stop. Every once in a while I’ll have chocolate as a way to make me feel better, but more often than not I eat it to enjoy it.

Also, for a long time I haven’t eaten as much food as I should and my body is hanging on to everything I put into it. So, that’s another thing that needs to change. I actually kept track of my eating last August and it was amazing to me how little I ate and how poorly I ate. So, I know that needs an overhaul.

I need to drink more water and that’s been a real challenge for me, but that’s the FIRST thing I’m working on. If I have bottles of water in the house I’m more likely to drink so I either need to keep more bottles of water in the house or get a cup that is like a water bottle that I can drink out of easier. I don’t know why this is, but I need to go with what works right now.

I did start exercising a week ago – yay! I decided to get exercise dvd’s from Netflix and have a variety so I don’t get stuck in just one. I started with Leslie Sansone’s Walk At Home 5 Day Slim Down. It is really good and the basic 1 mile walk is very simple which is great for a beginner like me. You can mix and match the workouts to your heart’s content as you make progress too. She is about my age as well – a definite added bonus in my book – I want to see someone my age looking good, staying healthy, and encouraging me along the way. Now, I admit I didn’t exercise for a few days, but today I jumped back in and feel so much better! So, this may be an exercise program I can stick with. I used to have these fantastic Esquire vhs tapes called Great Body Workout and they were really good – very similar to what Leslie Sansone does. However, when they remade them for dvd they were not the originals and so once our vcr was replaced with the dvd player that was the end of that. I’ve never found anything I liked until now. SO, I’ll keep you posted on how this goes.

I also took out Sansone’s book Eat Smart Walk Strong and I may invest in that one. She helps you find your problem areas with eating and build better habits over time. That is just what I’m looking for!

I also started taking Vitamin D3 and I think that is helping too. I really think I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) in the winter and it probably is lack of Vitamin D to some extent. I found a liquid version that doesn’t taste too bad so I’m giving it a one month test to see if it really makes a difference and then stick with it if it does. I do need to start taking my B vitamins again as well – that would probably help with energy until can get my food habits more on track.

Okay, I think that’s all the news on that front. I’ll keep updating so that I have a record of my thoughts and progress along the way and also to encourage you if you are walking the same road as I am. Oh, and for what it’s worth I haven’t lost any weight yet, but I’m also just beginning so I’m not going to worry about it. At least I’m maintaining my weight and I’m okay with that. What I am losing is bad habits and that’s a start!

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Blizzard 2011

February 2, 2011

Yesterday Feb 1, 2011 was quite an historic day here and I’ve got the pictures to prove it. Drifts in our backyard are really deep and I think Jeff and I may be intrepid enough to wade through it this afternoon. For about 4 seconds maybe – it is COLD out there baby!
The snow started overnight and then really began in earnest after dawn with a brutal wind helping to swirl the snow into little whirlwinds and drift it into unusual patterns. We watched the snow piling up in the yards all day and marvelled at the beauty of it. At one point I measured a drift next to the back door and it was 9″ deep just to the first step! There was still snow on the ruler and we looked at the sparkling ice crystals on it – a very dry snow yet but beautiful. That is one thing about nature – it can be mesmerizing, beautiful, amazing and yet so terribly dangerous all at the same time.

Luckily we didn’t lose power or satellite and now the battle is on to make sure that no pipes freeze. I’ll be keeping water faucets dripping overnight as the temps dip to below zero. Say a prayer for us on that front!

College classes were cancelled, Mike’s office was closed for the day, and Matt is 40 miles downstream in a hotel so that he can get to work. I have to say, I’m not thrilled about his getting out and about on the roads Thursday, but the main highways should be cleared. We’ll see. I’m envious though – a two night hotel stay sounds like a vacation to me!

So, it’s going to be a long week or two with snow on the ground, but as long as I can get out this weekend to get more food in the house I’ll be okay. I’m counting down the days to March when warmer weather arrives. In the meantime, here are the pictures I took yesterday.

Here is the snow drift that is against the door - made sure to open the door carefully so we could see how high it would get over the course of the day.

This is looking from our office to the gate - it was 9am.

Two cinder blocks half covered in snow with elf hats - that was interesting.

The snow is drifting deeper against the door now.

The cinder blocks are now covered

And the grill awaits the return of spring.

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No, it’s not a phone book

January 28, 2011

Earlier this week I opened the mailbox and found a really huge book the size of a phone book. From New York City. When I pulled that book out I looked at the cover and saw the words “Rainbow Resource Center” and immediately realized it was the catalog I had sent for last week! I had heard their catalogs were big, but WOW that is a really big catalog. I have to say, if I was a new homeschooler I think I might be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of products they have. However, as a veteran homeschooler it is going to be a lot of fun drooling over the products they offer. I know I will spend many an hour and coffee cup curled up and gleaning much information from this catalog. Hmm – I think it’s just a few months until the new Sonlight catalog comes out ;-).

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Fit Me Makeup by Maybelline – One More Time

January 26, 2011

Third time’s the charm right? It took a couple of weeks for the 110 color to get into the stores again and I picked up the last bottle at Wal-Mart when it finally did. This is the perfect color! It doesn’t wash me out at all despite it being pretty light. It also does not have pink in it like the 115, and when you have rosacea, more pink is not the way to go. It looks natural and a little really does go a long way. I am going to try mixing the 110 and 120 colors to see how that looks and I’m also thinking of getting the light bronzer for summer just to have that glow that the extra color in the 120 gave me. Overall, I’m really pleased with this makeup line.

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A Message from Robert Smith

January 24, 2011

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What I Like About Me

January 23, 2011

Well now that sounds somewhat narcissistic doesn’t it? However, I did mention in yesterday’s post about writing down the things I like about myself so I think I’ll go ahead and do that while I’m thinking about it.

1. I like my hair – it’s always been the one thing I’ve liked about my appearance. Mind you it is going kind of a funky blondy-grayish color, and it’s long again, but still I do like it.

2. I’m a good teacher – I have homeschooled my kids for 16 years now and I can honestly say I really love it and enjoy being a teacher. My eyes glaze over when school supplies come out in the stores and I get all giddy planning the new school year’s curriculum too. Matt told me one time, “Mom, homeschooling works for us because you enjoy it”. I had never thought about it before but he was right – I do enjoy it and it has worked a really long time.

3. I have a desire to help others even if sometimes I don’t know how to do that – I really do want to help other people, but for the last few years I could barely help myself. Now that things are looking up, I’m starting to see small ways I can help when people need it. It’s one of those things that I need to intentionally work on so that it becomes a way of life. One thing I have realized – you don’t have to have a lot of money to do something to help someone else. Even getting a can from a high shelf at Wal-Mart for someone is helping.

4. I am a good mother – Now, I didn’t always think I was and there was a time when there was a lot of room for improvement. What was that quote I heard years ago? “You did then what you knew how to do. When you knew better, you did better”. And I did become better and there is still room for improvement, but I think motherhood is a learn as you go process because it sure doesn’t come to you when you leave the hospital with that baby.

5. My fingernails – I was trying to find one other thing about my appearance that I liked and it would be my nails when they are long which they haven’t been in awhile. Right now my hands are cracked and bleeding because of the cold weather and I can’t keep my nails too long anymore, but when they are long and shaped they really are pretty and I do enjoy them. I would love to have a french manicure sometime or learn how to use those press on nails they make now (the ones that are better than the old ones used to be). I am a girly-girl you know.

Okay, those are five things about myself that I like and I think it’s a good list. Oh, and to give credit where credit is due, God did give me the talents I have, I just had to develop them with His help.

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I want to lose weight because…

January 22, 2011

I was reading an excerpt from a book the other day and in it the two authors listed the reasons why they wanted to lose weight. The reasons ranged from the usual, “I wanna look hot” to the more serious “I want to be healthy so I can see my grandchildren”. I thought that this was a great idea and so I wanted to put out here my reasons for losing weight so that I can look at the list and keep myself motivated as I go through my journey. My goal is to lose 60lbs by the end of the year – that averages out to 5 pounds a month. So far I’ve gained 3 pounds *sigh*. That’s okay, we all start rocky and things will smooth out later. So, here are my reasons for wanting to lose weight.

1. I want to wear boy shorts (I can hear my sons saying, “EWWW MOM!” right about now :-)).)

2. I want to find a really cool denim jacket to wear again – I don’t care if I am 40-something, I still want to look cool.

3. I want to have more energy throughout my day.

4. I want to look and feel healthy.

5. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.

So, those are my starter reasons. I’ve thought about things before but never really written them down. One of the reasons given in the book was to stop crying when watching transformation shows like What Not To Wear – I can so relate to that. However, Stacy and Clinton always encouraged the participants to accept who they are right now, where they are, no matter what. I think that is so important because we are who we are and we should be happy with who we are. The things we aren’t happy with are usually within our power to change, other things aren’t and we just have to accept those as uniquely our own. Maybe I should write about that next – the things I like about myself. Stay tuned!

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Paper Doll Clothes

January 19, 2011

Okay, you might think this post is about paper dolls, but it isn’t. I wrote in our Christmas letter that the girls enjoy making clothing for their dolls out of paper towels and that I’d post pictures. Well, this is that post – a little late but I’m on it now :-).

The girls each have a Barbie doll and a Disney Fairy doll and they went through a period recently of making clothing for those dolls out of paper towels and even leaves. I must say they were really good at it, but especially Katie who seems to have a really good eye for design.

One day I brought home a new package of paper towels and the girls were squealing over them like they were bolts of fabric, already able to see the dresses they were going to make. Here’s a couple of pictures of their work – a fashion show if you will.

Tinkerbell, Silvermist, and Fawn in beautiful dresses made by Katie, Maggie and Becky respectively.

A closeup so you can see the details - yes, they even colored the "fabric" with crayons to jazz it up even more.

I wish I’d taken more pictures because it is something I’ll always remember and it will be interesting to see if Katie does go into designing of some sort when she gets older. Ah, but that is a long time away yet.

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Week in Review

January 16, 2011

For those of you wondering where I’ve been the last week, I thought I’d post my week in review report – it was not a good week. Plenty of OH CRAP moments to keep this woman going.

We started Monday off with one of Jeff’s college textbooks not being delivered as it should have been. We’re talking the $185 before tax and shipping math book. He was hesitant to re-purchase because it was so expensive and I was more worried that he would have a high price to pay in class if he didn’t have one. As it turned out, the teacher was very understanding about his plight and he called all the right people so the book was found and delivered on Friday afternoon – yay! Very glad he waited to see what was going to happen before ordering a new textbook. Good call Jeff!

Also on Monday we had snow and I must say it was pretty – looked like someone was sifting powdered sugar from sky. However, I was worried that I would not get kids to and from school and that there might be ice, but as it turned out the roads were clear by Tuesday already. I think it was too dry for the snow to really stick and the brisk north winds helped to dry the streets as well. Now that’s the kind of snow I can appreciate!

On Thursday I heard a bizarre squeaking noise in the living room and could not figure out where it was coming from. At first I thought it was someone’s phone, then I thought it was someone’s DS game that had been left on, but then I realized it was coming from the area of our fireplace. Okay, it’s not really a fireplace, but I think it was at somepoint and it’s not the traditional kind – it’s a gas fireplace. So immediately I start panicking. Until Matt tells me that he’s been hearing the squeaking for weeks. (Weeks? And you didn’t tell me??) We did a little detective work and figured out that the noise was coming from the gas meter outside. So, I got all the kiddos out of bed just in case of whatever emergency was sure to ensue and called the gas company at 8 am. They had someone out within 30 minutes. Luckily it wasn’t a big deal and the gas meter was replaced. Of course I worried through the whole thing, and I’m sure the poor guy thought he had a live one that morning, but he also reassured me every step of the way so I would feel better. Now that’s what I call service!

On a smaller note, I had misplaced one of the twins’ school books and I looked and looked for it all week long. Finally on Friday I found it under piles of paper on the school shelf. I swear I looked there at least 10 times already!! Luckily, it wasn’t nearly as expensive as Jeff’s textbook.

Friday came and all the problems had been solved and we eagerly looked forward to bowling that night. Lucky for me, Mike was having a bad first game and he only beat me by 5 points – bwahahahahaha! I really messed up the last few frames or I could have beat him and in a bad way too. Oh well – there’s always next week :-).

So, that’s my week in review – busy with a couple crises, two boys starting college classes, and a little snow because it is still winter after all. Hope this week is better!

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