Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Spending Out

March 16, 2021

Last year about this time it became about saving money – inadvertently – but saving money none the less. This year? Spending out. We are behind in things like haircuts and new clothing so it’s time to get back out there and get caught up. With the vaccine rolling out and things improving I feel it’s the right time. We are still masking up and still social distancing and not going to too many places though – it’s not over yet.

My kids are on spring break so the timing was right for haircuts. We haven’t done that in over a year although we did try to do it ourselves last summer. Not perfect but it got the job done. Two kids now have much shorter hair with two more to go.

We also did a little clothes shopping while we were out and found a few things for two of my daughters. I even found a couple of things for me. A win-win.

I recently bought a pair of shoes online as well – the pair it replaced was getting really well worn and needed to go (bought in 2019).

I did a spend out at Ulta after the winter storm last month and will be doing a haul from Sephora soon as well. My skincare is running out and I’m getting ready for the spring and summer season.

We are still spending out fixing our house up and I need to contact our plumber and a contractor for the next phase. The water lines all need to be replaced and there’s a bathroom reno as well that’s long overdue. Hopefully to be started by May or June.

So, it’s been a little brighter around here lately and I feel more hopeful going into this spring and summer. Hope your days are getting to be brighter too. Peace.

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Loving Myself

March 8, 2021

Well, I had my second counseling appointment and she asked me if I loved myself. I just stared at her. I don’t even know what that looks like (somehow I think I’ve written this here before). So, let’s see if we can figure out what that might look like.

On the way home I thought about what it’s not. Like getting a big coffee drink at Starbucks to make a bad day better. That’s not really loving you or your body. It’s a quick fix to make you feel better momentarily. And while it’s not bad per se, it really isn’t self love. And certainly not long term (trust me – I know). Loving yourself goes so much deeper.

I think it starts with accepting who you are and being happy with yourself as you are. I have never felt that way. Ever. I tried to make myself over into other people or to be like them, (I’ve also had people try to make me over into little thems) but never accepted who I am because I always felt off – not comfortable in my own skin.

Now I’m pretty sure God doesn’t want me to feel this way either which I hadn’t thought about before until re-reading “Eat, Pray, Love”. I am in the image of my family line, but I’m also made in God’s image too. There is a Hindu mantra that goes like this:

I honor the Divinity that resides within me.

And it has to do with their god Shiva. However, in the Catholic tradition we hold that God comes to dwell in us at baptism. That Christ comes to us in the Eucharist and lives within us. The Holy Spirit comes to us in confirmation. So it’s not a stretch to say this mantra in honor of the Blessed Trinity living in our souls.

So, what am I going to do to start loving myself? I think the first thing in order is to take care of my body. God gave it to me and I’ve only got the one and I’ve been treating it as a garbage dump for a long time. And isn’t that a slap in God’s face really? Our bodies are incredible things and He put good food and water on this earth to sustain them for daily living. First things first.

Another thing my counselor mentioned is to stop waiting for a right moment to do something I want to do and just do it. That’s easier said than done when you have kids and a husband, but if I don’t make the time now it will all have passed me by. Other women have done things like go back to college when the kids were older so why can’t I do that too? It’s never not been open to me, I just never found a way to do it. So it’s time to dust off those dreams I had/have and try to make at least some of them a reality. Things like cooking out of Nigella Lawson cookbooks for the year. My counselor thought that was a cool idea and I should do it and not worry about what the other people in the house think. I’ve had that dream for many years – time to make it a reality.

So I think this is a good place to start. Start with the body and move to the mind/emotions, and then the soul. Most likely I’ll find a domino effect – when the body feels better then other parts of me will too.

Happy Monday!

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» 2021 » March » Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Spending Out

March 16, 2021

Loving Myself

March 8, 2021

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