Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

I’m sorry, that number is busy…

September 21, 2011

I know, a mom with 8 kids (7 still at home) should have a lot more time to write on her blog right? Good thing I’m unperfect :-).

I have been in a whirlwind of activity for months now it seems and I can’t find time to just think or be or whatever I feel I need to do for myself right now. I feel like there are so many other things needing my attention, but most of that is stuff that really does need to be done. Others, not so much. I guess I need to learn the fine art of prioritizing and delegating. Delegating I’m not good at, but for the sake of my kids and when they move out of the house, I need to start practicing that one more. So, I’m thinking and processing right now…

The Fashion Show I Was In

It was fun! It was also eye opening to see this fat body I find myself in on camera. As in a video of me strutting my stuff. I will write a whole post about this as I process it, but it’s given me much to think about in many ways. I will say that at the first store (yes, we had to do this at two stores), after doing my thing and I turned around, there were tears in my eyes. Three years ago – heck, even ONE year ago – I could never have done this and it was a big big step in my journey of healing myself. It was worth it for that one moment of “YAY – I did it!”

My Teaching

I am reading a book on helping kids write and it is wonderful – so many great ideas! I realize it is primarily for the teacher in a public or private school, but I think it can be a goldmine of help for a mom who teaches her own kids too. I also like the way this teacher really asks her students questions to help them think through what they are writing.

I feel like I’m getting ready to make the leap to be a better teacher to my kids – to help them learn and think and grow. I think overall I do a good job, but the last few years I feel like I’ve not done as good a job as I could have. I am needing to look more at what I do and how I do it and make changes where they need to be made.

My Children

My oldest has left the nest and is making his way through the world. He is growing in so many ways and it is hard to watch sometimes. I remember being on my own and not having a clue whatsoever what to do with my life. I’m happy to say that he is not that way and has really thought about all the choices he has and is making. I’m really proud of you Matt!! *blowing nose*

My oldest daughter is growing up too. She is changing from a child into a young woman with all that it entails. There is a lot of work to do together as she is going to need help navigating the waters of a changing body and changing emotions. I hope that I can do a good job of supporting her.

On the downside, I also have the pre-teen boy/girl bickering going on *sigh*…yeah, not so fun.

My Life

I’m doing some looking at who I am and where I’m going to be in 10 years when the youngest chicks leave the nest. Ten years – it may seem long to those of you who have babies or toddlers because potty training and the tantrums seem to be never ending. Take heart, but also beware, they do grow out of all that! Children grow from stage to stage and we help them through it all. Then, the day comes when all that work comes to fruition and they leave and you hope that you gave them all they need for their life. But of course we don’t! There are many things they simply have to learn on their own and we have to start mastering letting go. And then its, what do I do with myself now?? We need to think about that from time to time.

So, I’m thinking, where will I be in 10 years (if I’m still around)? WHO will I be in 10 years? Who am I now? Sometimes I feel I have no idea who I am! I feel like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride when she realizes she doesn’t even know what kind of eggs she likes because she always ordered whatever the boyfriend du jour did! I feel like I’ve gone through much of my life like that, trying to be like other people, doing what pleases others, and so on. What do *I* really like – what do *I* really want? I’m 48 years old so maybe it’s time for that “mid-life crisis” but I think this is generally the time when we do think on these things.

I am thinking it might be fun to teach for a living, I could do that, but I’ll be 58 years old by then. What would the point be? Five years of teaching? Is that a career?

It is a LOT to think about because I’ve never given it any thought. I’ve never got beyond thinking about where my kids are in their growing up to what will I do with my life when they have left the nest. My good counselor told me a couple of years ago that I needed to think about it soon because the time will be here quick enough.

My Time

Here again, how do I need to spend it and how do I want to spend it. I guess this is where I take my priority list and start filling in. I was also thinking just now of a new list – things to “keep” and things to “let go”. Scrapbooking may be one of those let go things. I was going to do Project Life and I sort of started, but choosing the pictures and what to say is just so overwhelming for me. I think that should be my sign and give up any illusion that scrapbooking is something for me.

I’m thinking of a weekend away from home next month – God knows I could really use one! What to do with that time though – another thing to decide. Life is never automatic is it? While I do agree that routine for housework and kid stuff is necessary, other things can be quite flexible. However, when you find you have too many decisions to make, maybe it’s time to simplify? I don’t know, so I’m contemplating that too.

My body

This is another one of those I need time to do it things. Right now I feel like I have no time to really put into eating more mindfully which is what I need to do. I eat and it doesn’t register even sometimes. Or I look at the food and think – bleh. I need to get right with food and that is going to take time.

Okay, this is getting long, but I needed to write some stuff out and my blog is a place to do that so that’s what I’m doing today :-).

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Nyan Cat Crafts Part 2

September 17, 2011

Well, I tell you, once one kid does something they ALL have to do it too :-). However, for the uninitiated, I am going to talk briefly about what Nyan Cat is and the simple answer is to look at this video. It’s just a 10 second computer animation video with annoying music (and sounds like a cat going “meow”) that is repeated endlessly in a loop. My older boys had seen it and talked about it long before I saw it. Heck, Jeff even has the music for a ring tone on his cell! Ah well, I’m old now I guess since I seem to be out of the loop :-).

Back to the other day when Maggie was crafting a Nyan Cat outfit for Sally. Katie and Becky decided their animals needed the same outfitting too. Katie decided to make hers into Taco Nyan Cat…

…while Becky just chose a larger version of the original for her cat:

So, there you have it – three different takes on Nyan Cat.

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Nyan Cat Crafts

September 15, 2011

I’m sure many of you have heard about the incredibly annoying Nyan Cat video. I mean, okay, it’s kind of cute, but it’s the same thing over and over again and renders it annoying in no time. Kind of like hearing, “mom, mom, mom” a zillion times a day. My children, however, thinks it’s great. It’s so great in fact that Matt made a real Nyan cat out of real Pop-Tarts and real candy and made this video. Today, Maggie crafted the Pop Tart and rainbow part out of paper and attached it to her cat Sally:

So I guess there’s no point fighting it – I’m sure someone else around here will make yet another one at some point.

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A Model? ME??

September 14, 2011

Yes, it’s really true folks! Last week a local clothing store that I LOVE and have been doing business with for four years asked yours truly to be a model for a fall fashion show this Saturday!!! I was in shock at first but now I am just so excited and I think it will be lots of fun. I only have to model one outfit so it will be my 15 seconds of fame :-). Here’s the story.

One day last week, I took Joe and Steve to the library and then to the mall. Mostly I wanted to look at the bookshelves of a bookstore that is closing, but also to sneakily look at purses at this store (I will reveal the name, but on Saturday to keep the suspense going) and it’s sister store. They have started selling purses and they have several that I am interested in, but I like to see it before I commit to buying. Anyway, I walked into the store and no sooner had I set foot in the door than two gals walked up to me and said, “We’re having a fashion show in a couple of weeks and would you like to be in it?” Shocked would describe my reaction and disbelief also. Think of Charlie Brown being asked to be the manager of the Christmas play: “ME? You want ME to be in your fashion show??” Yep, that’s it all right. They added, “You’ll get a big discount on your purchases that day!” Weelll, that did sweeten the deal a little bit, but what did I say? “Can I think about it?” Well, okay you can, but really do you have to? I walked out the door and thought about it, for 20 seconds. Then, I felt the collective hand of the ladies on a homeschooling board I’m on whack me on the head and a voice say, “Whassamatter with you??!!” So, I turned around, walked right back in, and said “I’ll do it!”

Two days ago I picked out the outfit I will be modeling and it’s the cardigan I really want! However, the jeans are awesome too and those are more needed than the cardigan – we’ll see how it works out with the discount :-). Also, and this is the really unbelievable part, I’m not really nervous about it. I mean, I know there will be nerves to be sure, but I’ve been in that store many times, I know the people who work there, and I love the clothes. To coin a phrase from Ina, “How bad can it be?”

So, I’m really looking forward to it and you know, it’s a good step in my healing. I’ve gone from someone who never let anyone take their picture to putting pictures of herself on her blog to doing a fashion show in front of a lot of people. Last night I was thinking of a time when I was in fourth or fifth grade and I was in a play. Yes, I was on the stage reciting lines and I only forgot them once. You know, I’m sure it was scary, but I enjoyed it more than I was scared. I also did drama in seventh grade as well and had a performance which was loads of fun. So, yes, I think I can do this and I think it will be fun.

Don’t worry there will be pictures and maybe even a little video of my 15 seconds of fame. Raising my glass to toast another adventure!

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Thus we begin a new school year

September 9, 2011

Our 17th year of homeschooling to be exact. Yep, we started homeschooling in the fall of 1994 – it seems so long ago in some ways, but in others it has really gone quickly.

I decided in spring that year that I’d had enough of the school malarky we were experiencing and figured I could do just as good a job (possibly better) than they were doing. So, I decided to take the leap of faith (I had been looking into homeschooling for at least a year and possibly two) and dived in. I went with Our Lady of the Rosary School – a Catholic homeschool program – and ordered the K and 3rd grade programs. My students were Matt and Jeff – Chris was only 3 so he just ran around I suppose :-).

That first year was a doozy and I did not think I would make it at times. I know I threatened to put the kids in school at least 1/2 a dozen times a week, but I knew deep in my heart it would never happen. I knew this was what we were supposed to be doing. Well, that first year passed and I decided to not do the packaged curriculum again even though it was pretty good. I started getting educational catalogs in the mail and that was all I needed to put together my own curriculum. The next year I had even more fun :-). My only regret? I wish I had found Math U See and Handwriting Without Tears way back then. I think they would have made life much easier for the kids and I.

We persevered and I stopped threatening to send the kids to school as I began more and more to enjoy teaching them. What did my family think? Well, at first my folks were less than thrilled and when I became pregnant with Steve, baby and boy #4, they were worried that I was taking on more than I could handle. I out and out told my dad one day that we would manage and it was going to be fine. After they, they stopped bothering me about it. In fact, my mother is now one of biggest backers and my two brothers and my sister also are behind me in this endeavor. I am SO thankful for their support through the years!

I did have one year, the year we moved into our current house, when I experienced burnout. Little did I know that it was also the beginning of my descent into hell (depression). I picked up some new books – Real Learning and Well Trained Mind – and it gave me the boost I needed to revamp what I was doing. Then, in 2006, I discovered Sonlight – this change has made a HUGE difference in how we do school. My kids were immediately attracted to the fantastic books and we started on a journey of learning delight that has remained with us since.

So, how are we doing today? We are doing well although I am aware of a few glitches here and there. However, it is nothing major and nothing we cannot solve. I am excited about all our new books and my new outlook on life and look forward to more years of learning with my children.

Happy New School Year!!

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Mission Organization – CD Collection

September 5, 2011

About two years ago I found this awesome CD organzier and I thought it would be perfect to get our cd’s out of their cases and into some more streamlined storage. So, I decided to look for them the last time I was at Target because I thought I’d seen them there. No dice. Then I remembered that I’d seen them at K-Mart and not at Target like I’d originally thought. Well I was at K-Mart today and guess what I found?? Yep, those awesome CD storage cases! I bought one and thought that if it worked well I’d go back and get the other one that they had. And….they work great!! So, Mike will go back tonight and get the last one on the shelf :-).

Here’s the process – it took maybe 1/2 an hour:

First we have our collection of cd’s in bins – everything is dusty and difficult to get to not to mention the many broken cd cases:

Now, here’s what the cd’s look like in their new home:

Even the liner notes fit! For me, this is a must because it’s a throwback to record sleeves and words to the songs are essential:

I am very pleased and this Christmas instead of having a stack of cd cases and cd’s out of cases, we can have the “album” of cd’s and that’s all. Should keep them much more organized. Hopefully, we’ll remember to put the cd’s back in after use. We’ll work on that :-).

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It’s time for an OH CRAP moment!

Brought to you by the queen of Oh Crap – myself. Last night the upstairs toilet overflowed and I mean OVERFLOWED. I heard water down in the living room – the kids thought it was raining. Apparently my husband flushed the toilet and took his shower without realizing the toilet was overflowing and water was everywhere – including running down the wall in the living room. Yeah, that’s right, there is a crack in the living room ceiling that matches the one in the bathroom floor. Ah so much fun yes?

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My Incredible Book Find..um..Miracle!

August 31, 2011

A long time ago, around 1987 to be exact, I had this book called “Working Wardrobe” by Janet Wallach. It was all about how a few basic wardrobe pieces can be mixed and match to yield many looks for several weeks. Well, I loved that whole concept and ever since I read it I still think of my wardrobe in those terms. Okay, so I haven’t actually had much of a wardrobe since having a zillion kids, but hey, it’s a great concept.

Well, I loaned that book out back in 1992 or 1993 and never saw it again. However, I have been looking and looking for it ever since. I was going to get it from Amazon, but kept holding back in hopes of finding it at one of our used book stores for cheaper. That’s when it happened – the miracle!

On Saturday, August 20, Matt, Steve, and I went to Tulsa to do Jeff’s birthday shopping (I need to talk about that tradition one of these days). Per usual we went to our favorite used bookstore. I got out of the car and said a silent prayer that went something like this, “God, if you can find that book for me here I would really appreciate it”. We rounded the corner and right there in a box sitting right on top was THE BOOK!! I kid you not – it was right there only seconds after I prayed!! Best of all, because it was on the 25 cents “table” that’s all I paid for it. And it’s in good condition! I picked it up and hugged it to myself and almost cried. I paid for my book and immediately starting reading it when I got home.

I have to say the “capsule concept” of building your wardrobe is still as viable today as it was then. I am planning on a whole post on that because I actually DO have a capsule in my closet! See, I still retain all that I learned when I read that book all those years ago :-).

Confession time – I did cry over this one. It was such a simple thing, but it meant so much for me to find it. And to have that small prayer answered so quickly, I know that the bigger issues I am praying for now I can trust to the Lord. Well, I know that somewhere deep inside, but sometimes (and even each time) you have something big and scary to do, it is like the first time you have something big and scary to do and you don’t know if you’ll make it. I do know I’ll make it – God has shown me He is there. Here. All the time.

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August Progress Report

August 30, 2011

Well, it has been quite the month! Guess what? I didn’t even come close to getting everything done on my lists! I didn’t take the month for myself as I had planned. No, somehow all of that got waylaid and I ended up doing all kinds of other stuff instead.

It was a really hot month around here and the temps were always 100 or waaaayyyy over. Then, unbelievably, there was a week of cool and rainy weather and heat’s web was broken. Ah, did it feel good too! We are now transitioning into more fall like weather and next Monday should see our first real cold front coming through – can’t wait for that!

As far as my weight, I have actually started losing again so I feel good about that. I started drinking more water and, when the heat let up, I got a little more active again. Both have helped I’m sure. My sleep cycle has been a one good night and one bad night schedule, but the last couple of night’s I’ve had better sleep. I know that is the culprit for alot of weight and mood issues for me so it’s something I need to work on. Hormones, however, may have a different plan for me.

And during this month, I may have already mentioned it, I got sidetracked by my kids’ behavior. During the worst of the heat, when everyone was pushed to their limits, the bad habits came shining through. That got me to thinking about what to do about them and I ended up buying the ebook “Laying Down the Rails” by Sonya Shafer of Simply Charlotte Mason. I started reading that and also listening to the accompanying mp3 audio workshop (yes, I downloaded that too). I am about to implement the first phase which is: sleep cycles getting on track and also routines for everyone including mom. After those have become habits, about a month or so, we will work on the next thing. I’ll keep you posted :-).

I have also been getting ready for the new school year, which starts next Tuesday, and pulling in school supplies, books, etc. This week I am planning the lessons and making copies of worksheets and the like. As part of my “teacher training” month, I also read “Real Education In the Heart of The Home” by Elizabeth Foss, and began Karen Andreola’s “Lessons at Blackberry Farm” which is a sequel to her “Pocketful of Pinecones” which I breezed through last month. I must say, I am again thinking over more of the Charlotte Mason philosophy of education and wondering where and how I can apply some of this in my own home. Of course, as stated above, we are working on habit training, but I’m thinking also of dictation, narration, and copy work for English as well instead of workbooks. Many people think you learn spelling, grammar, and writing best by writing and I’d like to give it a whirl. Workbooks can be helpful but I think sometimes we lean too heavily on them as well. So, I’m contemplating all that at the moment.

We are still in restoration mode, and I’m just beginning to make lists of all that we need. I think that in itself has been such a daunting thought that maybe I got into procrastination because it just seems so insurmountable at times. At any rate, I know more now what I want to do and the wheels are being set in motion.

I finally finished “The Happiness Project” and am thinking of starting my own project at the beginning of next year (if not sooner). One thing I would like to do for myself is to read one classic book a month. I’ve been thinking about it for a while and this is the perfect excuse for me to start don’t you think? That said, I need to decide what my first book will be. Hmmm.

Well, I think that concludes this month’s Progress Report. Next month looks busy, but if I can take time to care for myself in between the busyness, maybe I won’t be too out of sorts by the end of the month. I’ll let you know how that works out :-).

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Rest From Your Labors

August 28, 2011

I heard these words this morning as I was running thinking about all the things I need to do. Today is Sunday, the Lord’s Day, a day of rest. Well, it’s supposed to be anyway. We aren’t supposed to do any really strenuous labor on Sunday. We are supposed to take the day off from our working – laboring – and give our bodies and minds a break. Well, as any mom knows this is easier said than done, but yes, mothers need this rest too even if it’s a little trickier to do.

The last few days have been very stressful for me. My mom was ill and ended up in the ER on Friday. I also spent the night Friday night to keep an eye on her. Yesterday was spent on errands with children to the library and also grocery shopping. I’ve got things to do yet before school starts next week so I’m preparing for that too. So how did I start today? By sitting outside in the cool of the morning and….reading a book on children and habits. Hmmm. I am baking a cake this morning because we are celebrating Jeff’s birthday today. But I had already decided to stay home from Mass because I felt I needed some rest. HOLD IT! Something isn’t making sense here. And as I was thinking of all the things I need to be doing a voice said to me, “Rest from your labors”. That also means, putting aside the school prep, the reading of habit training, all of it aside for today. I had never thought of those thoughts that rattle through my brain constantly and reading child behavior or self help books as laboring, but really they can be. And for me it is work because my job is being a mother.

So, today, I will put aside all those things and rest because I need the mental and physical rest. I will only do that which I truly need to be doing – like cooking and wrapping Jeff’s birthday presents and the mommy things as they arise. It will be hard, but it’s something I need to learn to do especially on Sunday.

NOTE: I found this blog called Unplugged Sunday and it is about unplugging from all the tech gadgets we have and engaging instead with our families, friends, and neighbors on Sundays. I think this is a great idea and very much ties in with our Sunday obligation to rest from our labors. Go check it out!

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