Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

thirtysomething Characters – Part 1

August 19, 2023

NOTE: There will be spoilers so if you ever thought you’d want to watch this show, you might not want to read this post. However if you are intrigued read on. AND if you are a die hard fan like me, you might enjoy this. Again – these are MY views – I’m sure you have your own. :D

Okay, so I’ve been thinking about doing this post for quite some time. Every time I get to Season 3 it’s like I just can’t hold back on my judgment of these people and yelling at the tv screen happens. So I think I’m going to finally spill my guts on what I think of the characters. And I almost hate calling them characters because it almost wasn’t acting as the situations are common to many of us. Season 4 is where things began to break down more because the show was nearing it’s completion and the actors were kind of done.

Backstory, I started watching “thirtysomething” when it began (1987) and I loved it. In fact, my husband and I watched it together every week and I remember how invested we were during the two-parter where Elliot and Michael get caught up in a possible takeover of DAA. When the show folded in 1991, I couldn’t get it out of my head. I missed the last episodes in Season 4 due to having baby #3 and I missed the show overall. Lucky for me Lifetime Network picked the show up and I was able to watch it daily. Then the death knell came when out of the blue Lifetime just dropped the show for no reason. I was crushed. I kept waiting and waiting for the show to come out on dvd and almost gave up hope until one day in Amazon there was chatter about the series being released. Finally, in 2009/2010 the big day arrived! I bought each set as they were released and I’ve watched all four seasons every year (or at least every other year) since. As I write, I’m currently half way through season 4 (ETA as of 8/5/2023 – I finished the series) and it’s time to give my take on the characters. It’s long overdue. So strap yourselves in kiddies, gonna be a bumpy ride. (ETA – I’m going to break these down into several posts because there are just so many people to rant…uh…talk about.)

Michael Steadman – I always thought Ken Olin was cute and I liked his character. But I never really noticed back in the day how dark he got just by working for Miles. Some people think he saw Miles as a father figure but I don’t think so. He wanted to be successful and better than Miles because his father’s business failed and then the Michael and Elliott Company did as well. Unfortunately running after this “success” wreaked havoc on his marriage and his life. Peter Montefiore, who worked at DAA, made a statement to Michael about how he couldn’t read him and that no one really knew what Michael’s motivations were. He kept a lot hidden even from Hope. Overall, he’s a fairly strong character but he was also young – only in his 30s – so he still had a lot to learn about life, marriage, business, and friendship. I think he was steered too much by Elliot and hadn’t really thought out what he wanted.

Hope Murdoch Steadman – I’ve known women like Hope and when I was a young mom I wanted to be (and even tried to be) like them. Hope thought everything had to be perfect and she had to be in control or she just didn’t measure up with other people or herself. (I thought if I wasn’t like that then somehow I was failing as a mom.) I think that’s really what it was all about for her – control over her life. And she choked when she realized she had no control – the episode “The Guilty Party” brings all of that to light. I think had the series continued she would have needed to ease up on herself and everyone else. But would she have? I don’t think she wanted to end her marriage with Michael, she just felt less than as a stay at home mother but didn’t know how to manage the desire for both a career and motherhood. She also knew that Michael was killing himself at DAA and it didn’t align with their original values. Overall though while I could relate to all the stuff on motherhood, other things like her need to have everything just so drove me nuts. I want to add that “The Guilty Party” is one of all time favorite episodes – so damn funny but also heartbreaking as well. The quote to Hope at the end sums up how Hope needed to see herself and her life – You can be right or you can be happy.

Elliot Weston – When I was younger I thought Elliot was funny and cute, but now that I’m much older I can see him for the chump he was. He did finally get better, but oh wow, he was so selfish and self centered in the beginning of the series. Like when he left Nancy and she turned around and got a divorce attorney and he was like, “wait, what?”. Like Nancy told him, “What did you think was going to happen”. He was like a little boy who needed to grow up and he kind of did but only after life got really real. Now I yell at the tv with my take and feel better now that I can see it. I think he was a good father and he became an even better one as time went on. He really enjoyed his kids. Overall I liked Elliot – he was funny and could be a great guy but he had tendencies toward the dark side which tended to unravel him at times. In the end, he still needed to grow up and I think he was in that process.

Nancy Krieger Weston – I identified strongly with Nancy way back in the day – she was a mom, I was a mom, her life was a shambles, and ditto for me. I still identify fairly strongly with Nancy even now that I’m 60 and I’m still waiting for my moment of transformation. Nancy grew into a fierce, strong woman who knew what she wanted and figured out how to get where she wanted to be. The divorce and the book were both pivotal turning points for her. But it took the rug being ripped out from under her to realize that she could be that woman. I wish I had been that strong when I needed to be but I’m slowly getting there. Also, how she related to Ethan after the separation and reconciliation was brilliant – it’s a great course in how we can take care of our kids but also take care of ourselves.

Gary Shepherd – OMG – so cute! I loved all the jokes about how Nordic Gary looked and Peter Horton is still easy on the eyes. :D On the other hand, Gary had tendencies to stagnate and not move forward. I don’t think he didn’t want to grow up, he just didn’t know how to navigate change and move on. I actually think Susannah gave him a more solid footing in the world. In my opinion, he was not in love with Melissa. And I think them being in the same circle just kept up feelings Melissa had for him that were never going to be realized. I wish Gary had stuck to teaching at the college despite not getting tenure. He loved it and it was a way he could make a difference in people’s lives which was his value system. I don’t know as if Gary really saw that though. And we won’t even go into how devastated I was (we all were) when Gary died – I’m pretty sure I cried a bit over that at the time (and still do). I loved his character then and I still love it today. There really are no complaints here.

Ellyn Warren – I could not identify with her back in the beginning – I was a mom and she was a career woman. Nothing wrong with that it’s just not where I was at in my life even though sometimes I thought it might have been. And I cry every time I watch the episode when she has her breakdown. I’ve battled a lot with depression and know that feeling all too well when you finally have to get help. Like Susannah she needed to tell people how she really felt and given herself grace to fail. I wish she had stayed with Steve Woodman, I think he would have been good for her but they just wanted different things out of life and she wasn’t ready to settle down and I think he kind of was. And that dumpster fire of a relationship with Jeffrey – UGH. She was chasing a fairy tale instead of really checking in with herself to see what she really wanted. And let’s not forget that as the series went on her appearance softened as well. Although I will say, that cute short haircut she had in the beginning? Love it!

Melissa Steadman – This is the one character that changed A LOT over the four seasons and was the truest to herself. Yet, when it came to Gary she could not let go for some reason. Had Gary lived she would have had to come to terms with his marriage and his fatherhood and moved on. Maybe going to LA and landing something out there would have freed her to become herself. But every time we get to the episodes in season 4 where she thinks Gary should be hanging with her instead of his wife and kid, well, she’s got issues. And that part when she dated Dr. Bob for what, a month and then she dropped him because he wasn’t going to change his mind about having kids. She needed to get herself in a better place before she even thought about having kids and not make it her overarching reason for being in a relationship. I never liked the way Melissa dressed, but she wore what she felt was right for her and she owned it. She just needed to get to that point in the rest of her life and she was getting there when the series ended. I can see her moving to LA or even moving to NY to be where she had more opportunities to grow as a photographer and as a person.

Okay, so those were the seven main characters – the circle of friends. Again, these are just my opinions and musings so take it for what it is. And it’s taken me a long time to refine this post and I could refine it ’till the end of time and it still wouldn’t be what I wanted it to be, unless I took one character at a time, but then it would be too long and….yeah, never get done. So, it is what it is. I’ll be back soon to take on other characters in the show – like boyfriends and girlfriends. Stay tuned!

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Not Giving Up

August 18, 2023

On this blog challenge or, as it turns out, on this house. I had another reno guy come out today and look at the projects in this house and it was actually not bad. I wrote down everything that’s bugging me right now and went over it all with him. There are several smaller projects that are very doable, and a few larger projects (like a new damn kitchen) that are probably only pipe dreams. If I can only get the smaller projects done it will still be a win. He said, like a lot of others have said, that this house has potential. And it does, but I just need the right people and a decent amount of money to do it. Also, it’s mostly cosmetic stuff (except for the electrical and plumbing projects) so it’s not completely hopeless – it just seems like it sometimes. I’ve got a couple ideas on cash flow for all of this and may pursue those avenues. In the meantime I’m waiting on the quotes for the projects and then we can get started giving this house the TLC it deserves. So feeling a little better about everything. Now, I’m off to bed after zoning out on planner flip throughs – yeah, another addiction of mine. :D

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Oh Crap – Blog Challenge Fail

August 16, 2023

In true Oh Crap fashion, I am down by 5 posts in the Blog Challenge with my son. However, it’s not because I haven’t been writing, oh no. It’s because I’m taking too long crafting them – perfectionism at it’s finest. :P I actually have around 4 blog posts written, but the opening ones I’m working on so they say what I want them to say. I think I’ve revised one of them four times now – well, I’m going to just release it into the wild and let it roll. It’s never going to be exactly what I want and the purpose of this here blog challenge is to write and then post. So, that’s what I’ll do.

What else have I been up to you ask? Well, it was a really busy week last week. Some of the people I called to be out here for issues haven’t showed up, but a landscaper who really knew what we needed did and he even said that if I hadn’t heard from him by tomorrow I’m to call him and remind him about project number 1. Then they can put me down later to start everything else.

I had my first dental work done with my new dentist and it was a great experience! Very gently done and he asked how I was doing every step of the way. He also saw two other problems that need to get fixed and he asked me if he could go ahead and do that. Yes, that’s right – he asked permission. My other dentist never did that, I was just expected to do whatever they said no questions asked. I stopped taking that last spring and it ended with me leaving that office. So glad I did. No one needs that kind of stress. Just wish I had done it sooner.

I had my doctor appointment to get my meds re-upped and it looks like I’ll probably be staying at my old doctor office for a little longer. Unlike my dentist office, I’m not totally ready to make a switch there yet. Everyone is very nice and the nurse I had the other day got talking menopause with me and it was very informative. I also made sure about what vitamins I can take with the doctor and was given the green light on all of them except I need a calcium which at my age is a good idea – don’t need to break a hip. So very happy and need to schedule a physical and start again.

Today I’m running errands – mostly for fun – but I do have a grocery pick up this afternoon. I know what’s for dinner and I’ll do what housework I can. Tomorrow I can have another slow day like yesterday.

OK – there’s one post down – only four more to go. Need to check and see what my son is doing on his bloggo and see if he’s down any as well. I’ll be back really soon!

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A Wild Week

August 11, 2023

And then some. We’ve suddenly started having a spring severe weather set up in late summer – it hasn’t been really bad but we’ve had a lot of heavy rain. Which is good because our area needs it, but it’s bad because we have drainage problems on one side of our house and the rain is getting into the crawlspace. Today I was going to bank that area up a little, and noticed there was a lot of water in the crawlspace opening and so I had to call a restoration company to see just how bad it is. They won’t be here until Monday but they totally get my frustration trying to get help in this town and are willing to help me out.

An ex-friend showed up at my door out of the blue last Saturday…well she texted me and I guess I should have texted back no we aren’t getting together, it’s over, move on…so I had to tell her in person. Hope that is the end of that. I’m not good at setting boundaries, but am getting better at it.

I fired my dentist but I did it nicely through a letter thanking them first and then telling them that we’ve decided to move on. One of the receptionists called yesterday when they got the letter and confirmed the appointment cancellations and it was see ya. All righty then.

Today I FINALLY got a landscaper out and he knew immediately how to fix everything – YAY. So next week they’ll take care of the area by the crawlspace that is overgrown so I can get that area fixed for good. Then, I’m going to have him pencil me in and get the rest of the work going. He’s pretty booked up so I want to get on the list now.

My old doctor’s office (he quit remember?) called this week and it was an absolute answered prayer. I had actually been praying to get in quicker with the new doctor so I could re-up my meds, but when the nurse at my old place called I decided to take the opportunity. When I babbled on about all the shit going down, she said, “You really need to come in”. So, I’m going next Monday morning. Not sure if I’ll stay with them, but for now I’m keeping this door open.

I should have had my husband do the dishes over last weekend because it’s been a bear trying to catch up this week. And I didn’t (dishes like laundry multiply) so I’m going to give up and have him do them this weekend.

I had a lot of kids at home this week so there was a lot of bumming around town with them. That was fun but it also kept me pretty busy – see dishes reference above. I even pulled out the “Get Out of Kitchen Free” card and ordered out for dinner yesterday. Really needed that.

Today I got up late (8am – I’m usually up around 6am) but once I got into gear I got a lot of backlog of paper things and scheduling things done and then being on the phone for an hour trying to get people in place including new insurance. That was mentally exhausting but I got a lot done.

And now I’m tired so I’ll be going to bed soon. I’m ready for summer to be over, the weather to cool down, but most of all, I’m ready for all these projects to get done so I can relax and enjoy life again. It seems I’m always stressed about something and enjoying life is never really on the list. However, I do try to find pockets of time where I can retreat and read or watch something fun. I’ve been watching a Great Courses dvd set on “How To Look At and Understand Great Art” (got it at Goodwill for 99 cents and it sells for $$$) and that has been really interesting and soothing. Such a great find.

Anywho, that’s just a small portion of my week. I did offer up my crap for other people’s bad crap so hopefully it was useful. Maybe we need this quote about now from Ralph Waldo Emerson.

“Finish each day and be done with it, You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.:

Amen.

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My Sephora Order Aug 2023

August 10, 2023

I needed to spend enough money to make VIB another year by early September so I decided to just splurge for once instead of carefully crafting smaller orders until I reached it. I have an ungodly amount of products in my wish list and since I’ve been having some trouble with skincare products lately, I decided to get a few favorites and a few new things. For once it’s a mix of minis with a few full size and then several sample sizes through the rewards program and the beauty offers. When I opened the box I was all aglow – so many great products! Squeee! For me there is nothing like a Sephora unboxing so, here we go.

Disclaimer – All of these write ups are my own opinions for my skin. Your mileage will vary.

Sephora Collection Perfection Mist Airbrush Foundation – Fair – On my want list for forever and it is discounted to $8 so I figured I had nothing to lose. I’ve tried spray foundations before and they always have been good so I wanted to try this one. So far what I’ve tested is good and I can’t wait to try this out. And I know they say spray directly on the face but I never do that – I always spray on a beauty sponge and then apply.

Anastasia Brow Freeze – I think this is my fourth jar of this awesome product. I also have the mini of her brow gel and it is also good but I prefer this. I have found a new way to use both products as well – to chop down my big ass brows! I apply, brush upwards, then trim my brows. The gel holds everything in place and it’s much easier to do. I recently bought some Covergirl brow pencils in Soft Blonde and they are a perfect color match so I think my brow bases are covered now. :D

LYS Beauty Skin Loyalty Setting Spray – I have never used a setting spray before and I wanted to start easy. This one has very few ingredients, the reviews were good, and the price was good too, so I decided to try it. I don’t want to wear longwear makeup because it’s not great for your skin but I need something to help my makeup wear better on days I need it to. We will see how it works.

Laneige Mini Cream Skin Toner – This toner is so good for my dry skin! I’ve bought several bottles of this stuff and it might be a lifelong product for me. I either use it on a cotton pad as a traditional toner or on really dry days (in the winter) I’ll use it more like an essence and pat it in. Either way it soothes and eases my sensitive skin. I know that they reformulated it recently so I hope it’s still a good product.

Hourglass Mini Veil Mineral Primer – Like setting sprays I really don’t use primers, however, this one does double duty and the last mini bottle I had I scraped it out fully I loved it so much. I’m glad to have it again because it’s easy to use, keeps makeup in place, and is a light sunscreen that truly protects my skin.

Hourglass Mini No 28 Primer Serum – Since I love the mineral primer so well, I thought I’d test this one out as it is more hydrating. I tested a small amount on my hand and it feels really good! It does have fragrance but it’s not overpowering, just light and lovely. Overall Hourglass products are expensive but very good. I had a mini/sample of their stick foundation once and really loved it so I may splurge on that some day too.

Sephora Collection Lip Liner to Go – Nude Beige – This is a mini lip pencil and I almost bought it once at a store but didn’t, but now I wish I had! This is a beautiful color and I think it’s going to be just right for me. The formula is creamy and was not hard to sample on my hand. I can’t wait to fully test it out, and I think it may become a staple in my makeup bag if it’s good.

Dr Jart Ceramidin Skin Barrier Moisturizing Cream – This is a 100 point mini that I decided to finally try. I was going to buy the mini but when I saw it was offered for a reward, jumped on it. I’ve been wanting to try this for some time and it is formulated for dry sensitive skin which is definitely me. I was surprised to see it has a little tint to it so wonder if it’s a primer really? They reformulated this recently (why is everyone doing this?) and it doesn’t look like I remember when I tested it out a few years back in a store. So, we’ll see how it goes.

Glossier Milky Jelly Cleanser – I love the idea of Glossier with the pretty pink and white packaging, but I see that they have updated a lot of their products and not for the better apparently. Still, I wanted to try the sample as it is also a 100 point reward. It’s supposed to be gentle and fragrance free and hopefully it may be one I can use. At my age gentle cleansers are a must but I’m having trouble finding ones I really like and really cleanse well.

Skinfix Skin Barrier Restoring Gel Cream – I’m really mad about the sample I received. The cream smelled horrible and was really watery. It also looked like the jar had leaked (no seal) and the residue on the side was a dark brown. When I went to Sephora’s website to see about it, a lot of other people had had the same experience. It was a 100 point reward and it went right in the trash – really disappointed.

Dr. Dennis Gross All Physical Lightweight Wrinkle Defense SPF 30 – I tried either this one or a different version of this one in the Sun Safety Kit for 2021 and really liked it. So, I decided to try this one since it was a beauty offer freebie. Note – the one in the Sun Safety Kit was the Dr. Dennis Gross Skincare’s All-Physical Dark Spot Sun Defense Broad Spectrum SPF 50 version which no longer exists. Again, it was really good so I’m hoping this will be too.

I also got a sample packet of Paula’s Choice Youth Extending Daily Hydrating Fluid SPF 50. It’s a chemical sunscreen that I think is supposed to be more like an Asian sunscreen so I thought I’d give it a whirl. But probably only once because chemical sunscreens and me don’t really get along. I know – what am I thinking right? And I got a sample card of Givenchy’s Prisme Libre Glow Foundation. I’m always interested in good foundations so got this one. It probably won’t cover my whole face because the tiny amount on these cards never do, but at least I’ll have an idea of what the formulation is like.

And that’s my Sephora haul for the month. I can’t wait to start testing the new products out and jump back into the ones I know and love. It was definitely worth the splurge even with the bad Skinfix product. Don’t worry, I only dumped the product out – I’m recycling the container. :D

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Coffee Chronicles

August 9, 2023

Well, crap, I’m down by a post or two in my blog challenge, but I’m going to post something quick while I’m editing a really huge post about all my new CD purchases this year. There have been A LOT so it’s going to be released over several Mondays. Stay tuned for that!

I really needed to take a break from the coffee because I was starting to drink way more coffee than water and in the summer heat it’s just not a great idea. So I stopped about a week ago and here are the results.
- Less bloating. I was drinking some caffeinated and some decaf and decaf is definitely not my friend. It causes me to get constipated and is more dehydrating than regular. The last couple of days I think my body is finally finding it’s normal again. It feels better. I’ve known this for awhile so I need to consider it before I drink decaf again.
- My mind is clearer. I think caffeine shrinks vessels in the brain and with all the stress I’m under that’s just a recipe for disaster mentally. I’m not as cranky and am feeling less mental pressure as well.
- I’m making better eating choices – less sugar, more water, considering what I eat before I eat it. And I feel like snacking less as well. Sometimes when we snack it’s really because we need water so I’ll reach for a glass of water instead.
- I’m losing weight. I haven’t weighed in yet, but already my too tight pants are easing up. And I believe there is a cortisol connection with caffeine and it all gets involved in weight gain too. I’ll be weighing in on Sunday and we’ll see how that looks then. I only weigh once a week and I’ve not weighed in for a while. I’ll probably be asking my new doctor about all this too.
So far those are the changes I’ve noticed and I’ll be keeping it up for awhile so I’m sure by the end of the month I’ll have a better idea of how coffee affects me and if I can keep my morning cup in or if it’s out. Am I craving coffee? Not really. Do I miss it in the morning – most definitely! But maybe I can just get my coffee fix down to 1-2 times a week to treat myself or when I have my hanging out with a kid days. It’s just messing with too much right now so it’s time to cut it way down for the short term. Overall though when I think about having coffee I ask myself if I’m ready to deal with the issues and the answer is no. So, for now coffee and I are having a break time.

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Ending Relationships – Starting Over

August 7, 2023

I mentioned in a previous post that I was ending my business relationship with my dentist of 10 years. I just don’t feel he has me and my family’s best interests at heart anymore and it’s more about money than it is about doing what is best for us. I’ve already seen a new dentist and I think he’ll work out great. Everyone in his office is nice and kind and takes the time to really listen and, most of all, not bulldoze you into treatments. You truly get to make your own decisions. Hopefully it will work out. Tooth issues aren’t my favorite and you really do have to find someone you are comfortable with, and who is caring and kind. For me I’ll add not super aggressive. And you have every right to take your business elsewhere if you aren’t getting what you feel is fair treatment or if the person doesn’t work out for you.

My regular physician up and left the group he was in in May. He didn’t actually say goodbye to his patients in a letter but the group sent the letter. It makes you wonder why he left. He was really nice and entertaining, but I felt he needed to do more. I wanted bloodwork done to check hormone levels and vitamin levels and he said my insurance wouldn’t cover it so we wouldn’t do that. Yet, I think it holds the key to some of my issues. That and 5 minute visits just don’t cut it for me. And trying to get a doctor appointment with someone good in this town? Next to impossible. I’m going to see a nurse practitioner at the end of the month to re-up my meds and to ask about this other stuff too. It used to be your doctor was a trusted friend back in the day and when you needed to get in for illness you could. Not anymore.

And I finally ended a relationship where the other party thought everything was peachy. It hadn’t been for a very long time for me and I wrote a letter at least 15 years ago that told this person so. She didn’t contact me for another 5 or 6 years so I figured it was all good. But then it was like they forgot about all that and tried to rekindle our friendship. Not answering anything didn’t work and somehow she thought we were still friends. She showed up 5 years ago and I should have had a private conversation with her then. I didn’t because she had brought her husband and started asking pointed questions in front of him and my husband and I didn’t feel up to answering them when it was a private matter. I really should have followed that visit up with a letter and ended it right there. So, here it is another 5 years later and no communication from me and she shows up after a text the previous day which I didn’t answer and I also blocked her on my phone. I opened the door said and we had to talk and I told her in less than a minute that I didn’t want to be her friend anymore, that I had moved on from the relationship many years ago, and I didn’t want to rekindle it and that’s why I never contacted her. Hopefully that will bring closure for her. It certainly does for me.

Sometimes you just have to move on when you know things aren’t working and sometimes when other people end relationships you just have to roll with the punches. I’ve never been very good at ending things, hanging on for far too long, but I’m getting better at it and these latest endings are giving me help in that department. Hopefully I can find closure and less stress now that these ties have been cut. Moving on.

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My Face Needs A Break

August 4, 2023

I was trying to use one brand starting at the end of April, but by the end of May it was obvious that some products were not working – mostly the skincare. So I dropped them. After another month and another talk with a consultant, another product was dropped. She also brought up the fact that I probably wasn’t getting all the tinted sunscreen off (mineral) and that there was residue left that was turning my skin dry – she was right. I also was probably using way too much of the products as well. So, I tried cleansing balms and double cleansing and while that worked better my skin wasn’t thrilled. And oils and balms just don’t feel great to me not to mention if I get them in my eyes :O. So, in a fit of “rage”, I dropped everything – only cleansing with water morning and night for two days – and my skin felt so much better. After that, I decided to add a very low key routine back in with a basic cleanser and moisturizer for very dry sensitive skin plus a water mist for a few days and, again, good results. Since then, I’ve been slowly adding in and taking out products as needed and making notes in my beauty notebook – a place to write what I’m using day and night from week to week and noting what does and doesn’t work and reasons why. The main thing is getting my skincare and makeup to play nice together and it takes a lot of detective work.

One of these days though I may just chuck EVERYTHING permanently and go naked…my face people! It’s a scary prospect because I have mild rosacea (unless I use a skincare product that’s too harsh and then it’s much worse), but I think over time I could do that. And I am more than sick of “anti-aging” everything. I just want a basic routine for clean healthy skin but at my age, OMG, you have to use products to make you look younger. BAH….I don’t want to look younger, I just want my skin to look and be healthy. I’d like to be able to just cleanse, tone, moisturize, and exfoliate like in the old days but it’s getting harder and harder to find what I need as the beauty industry keeps changing and my age group seems to be ignored. Another reason to chuck it all. :P

So, that’s my rant and I’ll be doing a breakdown of products I’m currently using soon. In the meantime, I’m kind of just playing around with products I know my skin likes and seeing what works and what doesn’t. Sometimes it’s what you need to do especially for those of us with sensitive skin. Not to mention it’s kind of fun too while still being mildly annoying. And I’m still trying to move toward a skincare product wardrobe where I can pick and choose products based on my skin needs. Like I already do with my makeup – some days it’s a full face and others much less.

Stay tuned as I will be posting more extensively on what I’m currently using and will stay with probably for this month. That’s another thing – too much switching around with products like I’ve been doing the last few months is a recipe for disaster. Well, you live and learn.

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Body Image

August 3, 2023

Because I’ve spent too much time over the years saying terrible things to myself about how I look, I’m suddenly finding myself doing things to stop that and it’s actually working. Because telling myself that “I’m fat, old, and ugly” isn’t doing me or anyone else a favor. Because sometimes I take that anger that I’ve turned inward and direct it outward to unsuspecting people when I’m having a bad day. Because sometimes it’s not about the fact that you forgot to do something, what it feels like is I’m just a fat, old, ugly, stupid woman. Yeah, not great.

So, one day as I was getting dressed I decided to lotion up after a shower and really look at myself in the mirror and while the side view wasn’t great, it wasn’t the worst either. I looked at myself – really looked at myself – and I could see the younger me I used to be but just packaged differently. The amazing thing is that I have hardly any visible stretch marks after having had 8 children and even my bloved OB/GYN back in the day commented on it. I think it was because I have used body lotion since I was about 20. Sure, I probably stopped using lotion daily here and there, but I really got back into it many years ago during a deep depression, making sure I stayed with it, because it is actually a self care thing. I read somewhere that using body lotion can help give you those good endorphins as if someone was giving you a hug. And that’s why I try to do that on the daily because it feels good, some body lotions are aromatherapy for me, and it just ups my body image too. Well, okay, and I have dry skin, but that’s actually secondary.

So I guess you can teach an older lady some new tricks and you can improve your self image by doing something as simple as taking the time for body lotion or perfume or hand cream or whatever it is that makes you feel like you again and see yourself in a positive light. Because you are truly worth the effort to take care of yourself. As Journey once said in a song, “be good to yourself when nobody else will”. You have to.

P.S. Okay, this is actually today’s post for the blog challenge – I am now caught up. :D

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My Life As A Granny Begins

Why yes I am choosing Gran or Granny as a grandma name – it was good enough for Queen Elizabeth II so it’s fine for me.

My first grandchild – a boy – was born in late June and he is now one month old. It was a bit of a rough start for my son and his wife and the baby, but all is well now and they are going to be in for a rough go if the videos of that active baby are telling the tale right. Yeah, I can laugh about it because I did all that 8 times – the last time with twins no less. Ah, but they are also in for some very, very sweet times. And let me tell you I really miss those early days. A baby snuggled up in your neck and smelling that sweet newborn smell. Oh, and let’s not forget the smell of the chrism they use to baptize babies – the house smelled like heaven for days after that. Baby toes, baby cheeks – just right for a smooch. And I finally found the words to express all that to someone the other day. My son had sent a picture of him and his boy in matching outfits – my heart plummeted about 20 stories and tears welled up in my eyes. Why? Because suddenly it was 37 years ago when he was born and it was me and my boy. And it occurred to me – I wish I could go back in time to hold each one of my children as a baby just one more time. And when I see those videos of my grandson, I am time travelling back to all my babies’ days and reliving what had been.

So, yeah, when you see us starry eyed older moms and grandmothers oohing and ahhing over your baby it’s because we are thinking about our own lives and wishing we could just go back to hold our babies just one more time. Pass the kleenex please.

P.S. This is yesterday’s post posted one day late because I went to bed early. It had been a day.

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