Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Feeling Better

April 20, 2016

We’ve all been sick…again. Bleh! This time a nasty cold virus wound it’s way through the family and, as usual, everyone got varying shades of it. The good news is – we’re all feeling better now and getting back to a more normal life after two weeks of this. Hopefully that’s it for awhile.

I started the morning off feeling pretty good, then kind of sad. To get out of my mid-morning pity party, I cleaned myself up, threw some laundry in, and while I was waiting for my clothes to get done I gave myself a little manicure with this – the hydrating kit. Then I played some Animal Crossing on my DS. I also pulled a menu plan together for the rest of the week which is great because that’s one less thing I have to think about. I need to get a 4-6 week plan going. Really.

After lunch, I went shopping. First I went to K-mart to try on some of the cute shirts I saw – didn’t really like any of them. Well I did but I just didn’t like them on me. Oh well. Then, I went to Starbucks to get a frapp and an almond croissant. To finish, I went to Walmart to do some last minute birthday shopping for son #5 (we’ll celebrate on Friday). I managed to find a cute nightgown and robe set for under $20 while I was there which was awesome.

I came home, called my mom, and made meatloaf, potatoes, and peas for supper. I feel like even though it was a rocky start, the day turned out quite all right. Glad to be feeling better.

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Steady and Stable

April 13, 2016

I found two more words to add to my vocabulary:

Steady:

firmly fixed, supported, or balanced

Stable:

not likely to fall or give way

Balanced, steady, and stable seem to be interrelated. First there must be balance and then we can be steady which leads to being stable. We’re firmly fixed in place. Our habits, our emotions, our lives.

Today, at 9am, I was still in my pajamas and robe awaiting my clothes getting dried so that I’d have something to wear when I got out of the shower. This is how I was years and years ago and I never thought I’d go back to that place, but here I am at 53 and it seems things have come around in a circle. I’m not sure why that is. But I do know what the imbalance is and I need to move things from one side of the me scale to the other until I achieve a more balanced life.

One key thing I need to practice: self discipline. I have to make up my mind that I am going to do some new things and I’m going to stick to doing those things until I do them every day. And if one way doesn’t work, I’ll come up with a new way until I find what works for me.

I read somewhere recently that women of my mom’s generation (and before her) just did what they were supposed to do. When one woman asked her mom how she managed to take care of a home and raise several children the mom said, “I don’t know. I just did it.” I think that’s what my mom’s attitude was too. I’m going to get back to that. Which leads into what Master Yoda had to say about trying:

“Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.”

I’m down with that.

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Revisiting “thirtysomething”…again

April 12, 2016

I saw this article today (although it was written on February 11) and how this year was the 25th anniversary of Gary Shepherd’s death on “thirtysomething”. That led to looking up more articles on thirtysomething and the reaction to Gary’s death. Again. Yeah, I’ve done this before. Lots of times. It seems like every spring and fall I always turn to thirtysomething for some reason. April of 1988 has such strong memories for me as it is and maybe thirtysomething is a catalyst for that…I don’t know.

I Skyped my older brother about it because I know he watched the show and he said he’s going to watch the pilot again and I said we’d need to discuss it afterwards. Actually, I already watched the pilot last week. :-) What I want to do is watch one episode every week just as if it was on tv again and match the original dates up as much as possible. Hopefully this fall. Right now though I may run through a few of my favorite episodes over the next few weeks.

I found a few other articles – some that were written at the time that episode aired, and others that reflected on the show as a whole but in more current times. It affected so many of us and not in an entitled whiny way either as so many people would think. It was the one show most like real life and we ate it up, we bonded with the characters, we even had traits of some of (or alot of) those characters. And Gary’s death? That was the most real thing of all.

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Stepping Back

April 11, 2016

It’s Monday and it’s a busy one – two sick kids, one getting better. The sick kids led to two dental appointments being cancelled and rescheduled. I am getting caught up on laundry, vacuuming and sweeping. I am also decluttering a little each day as well – I currently have bags in the back of the van awaiting Goodwill drop off. All of this led me back to what I had been thinking about April recently – I need to get all of this stuff done! Oh, wait a minute, wasn’t there these goals that would take all year instead? Yeah, forgot about that.

So, it’s time to evaluate what is getting done and what’s not getting done. What needs to be done when and working the bigger projects all year while staying up on the daily and weekly stuff. What in my system is currently working and what is not.

I’m glad I caught myself before rushing headlong (again) into things without a plan. And when you have a large family you have to have a plan or you can get sidetracked quite easily.

That’s what I will do this week – evaluate and make plans. I know it sounds rigid, but it’s not. I need to have some order and when things are out of sorts so am I. I also need to have time to do quiet things like read or watch something that I enjoy or even be creative. That’s why I’m stepping back to see the whole picture and then focusing in on the details.

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A Novel Idea

April 10, 2016

I’ve been listening with wild abandon to Modern Mrs. Darcy’s What Should I Read Next podcasts and making lists of all the great books she and her guests talk about. It occurred to me today that I haven’t read a novel for myself in a while – January to be exact. I read “The Hours” by Michael Cunningham after watching the movie that was based on his book and, while not light reading, I did enjoy both.

So, I looked at my shelf trying to find novels that I own. Well, the homeschool bookshelves are full of great ones and I read those with the kids. But, on a personal level I own 9 novels. Nine. Everything else is non-fiction. Then, I saw it – “Our Lady of the Lost and Found” by Diane Schoemperlen. I bought it on April 23, 2011. Still in pristine condition too because I never got around to it. So, I took it down, dusted it off, and put it on the coffee table. And as soon as I finish this other book I’m reading I shall take it up.

I need to consult my “Book Lust” books and start making a list of novels to read. And those lists I’m making from What Should I Read Now. Maybe I need to challenge myself to read one novel a month. Maybe a biography or two thrown in can count as well – I do like those. Maybe I just need to admit that I don’t like fiction as much as non-fiction? I don’t know. It’s something to pursue at any rate.

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Consistency

April 9, 2016

I realized last night that one thing I need to cultivate in my efforts to balance my life is consistency. It is something that I’m only half good at. I like this definition from Merriam-Webster:

marked by harmony, regularity, or continuity

I am really consistent about my rising and going to bed times. I wash my face and brush my teeth twice a day every day. I say morning and evening prayers. I do the grocery shopping every Saturday. So, I know I’m capable. It’s just in other areas I seem to fail. Housework is one of them. School can sometimes be another – especially in winter. I am a creative type so I can get sidetracked easily. That means that I need to cultivate consistency so that those things that need to be done get done on time and at the same time every day so that they are finished and I can move on to something I would rather be doing.

Part of this is that I am more tired these days, somewhat due to age, but more likely due to my imbalance of late. So, I need to be consistent about eating on time, taking my vitamins, and getting some kind of exercise in. I know that when that balances out I will have more energy to do the housework more consistently and easily. In the meantime, I need to do the things I need to every day even if it takes all day to do it. The done on time and at the same time every day thing will come eventually. At least I’ll be getting somewhere.

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Balance

April 7, 2016

I like this definition of balance:

“An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady”

That is not happening in my life. There is not an even distribution of weight and I’m barely upright and more shaky than steady. I know what this means for me. It means I need to get people to help out more around the house. It means I need to invest in myself more so that I am a saner happier mom and not a grouchy tired mom at the end of the day (and that is usually around 6pm). It means I need to get into a routine that works and stick to doing some things at the same time each day – like meals. It means not just reading self-help books (yeah, fell off that wagon) but also reading literature too. It might mean learning something new, or going back to school. It means not doing things that aren’t working and replacing them with things that do. Or maybe not replacing them at all so there is more time for the other things in life I want to do. Or need to do. It means limiting caffeine and giving up processed foods and sugary treats and eating more whole foods. And moving more. I’m running on empty and need to fill my tank up so I can regain my balance.

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