Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Another One Leaves the Nest

March 8, 2012

And yes, I am considering writing a parody just for the occasion :-). For now I’ll just tell you that tomorrow another boy of mine – Jeff – is leaving the nest to go live on his own. Okay, so he’s not totally going to be on his own since he’s moving in with Matt, but mostly on his own. How do I feel? Well, it’s a little easier the second time around, but still emotional. Again, I’m feeling like I didn’t do all that I could have or should have but that all has to be left now and I have to say, I did the best I could. I think we always have to do that when our children leave home. But I digress.

Jeff started packing a few weeks ago and today some time he’ll pack the last of his stuff up – his computer and computer desk – and tomorrow we’ll pack it all up in the big van and move him out. Also, they are moving to a bigger apartment so not only is Jeff moving but Matt is moving too. It’s going to be a busy day and someone will need Tylenol or Advil by the end of it all I’m sure. Probably Mike – the others are still young yet :-).

Anyway, I’m going to put my thoughts together for a send off post tomorrow complete with pictures – bwahahahaha. Be afraid Jeff – be very afraid!

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My Almost 50 Makeover Year?

March 6, 2012

Well, well, well – I had this interesting thought the other day. Maybe I should get myself pulled together this year so I can be a hot tamale when I celebrate being 50 next January. Yes, that’s right – CELEBRATE! I know I’m going to be 50 so why try to hide it and instead celebrate my age. Doesn’t it mean I’ve attained some amount of wisdom anyway? So, maybe this is the plan for me this year and heaven knows I’m way overdue for a makeover. Not to mention, I think I’ve earned one.

I took a book out of the library called “The Grown Up Girl’s Guide to Style” by Christine Schwab and it is good. It talks about what clothes you can and cannot (and should not) wear now that you’re older. We have to shake off the juniors department because, let’s face it, we can’t pull that look off anymore (don’t worry – I don’t shop there at all)! However, it’s not time to give up and throw in the towel either – we need to dress our age which is somewhere in between. I realized this awhile ago and the shorts wearing stopped when I was 40ish – I just couldn’t pull that look off anymore and I knew it. I’ve also watched enough What Not To Wear to know what I should and should not be wearing anyway. So, maybe it’s time to really find my style.

In reading about skin care, and looking at my drying out face, I think that maybe it’s time for a different regimen. I’m looking at some different products that address aging skin concerns and will purchase some new items soon. The skin around my eyes in particular is getting tissue papery and I need something for that now! My makeup needs to change too – time for the powders to go away – including blush – creams are going to be much more forgiving.

My hair already had a makeover last year and I do need to keep that up. I got another haircut before my modeling debut last September but it was awful! The stylist I had gone to in March wasn’t at that salon anymore and I didn’t have much of a choice seeing as how I picked the day before to cut my hair. I’ve let it grow out and now that it’s been a year since that first fabulous style, I need to get it done again. One thing I am not going to do as I age is color my hair. It’s too much expense and upkeep and rarely looks natural unless you spend beaucoup bucks to have it done right. I’m just going to let it do its thing naturally.

The book also talks about attitude and moving forward into new realms as well. Yep, it’s time to branch out – well, to a point. I still have young ones at home to care for so I have to still be mommy for a few more years yet. I can (need to?), however, find new avenues for meeting people and stretching myself in that way.

Obviously, the weight is the biggest issue and it’s time to get healthier now that I’m approaching 50. The weight needs to come off and I also need to get strength in my muscles and bones since I am a woman and osteoperosis is a huge concern. So, I really need to work more on those issues.

So, that’s something for me to think about and plan out this month because I’ll be 50 (God wiling) in 10 months! I’ll keep you posted :-).

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Garfield was right – Mondays ARE bad!

March 5, 2012

My kids really love the old Garfield comics and they are forever taking the books out of the library. And Garfield hates Mondays because everything goes wrong. Today, I will say with Garfield, “Mondays suck!”. What? He never actually said that? Well, he should have! How did I start today? By accidentally dropping a bowl on the kitchen floor and smashing it into a zillion pieces. At 5 am. *sigh* I swept the best I could, but I’ll wait until 7am to vacuum so I don’t wake everyone up. I hope this is not a harbinger of how the rest of the day will go. Maybe this is the worst part and I just got it over with early. Yeah, I’ll go with that.

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Nyan Cat Revisited

February 24, 2012

A beautiful Nyan cat rendered in Cra-Z-Art clay by Maggie.

Trivia – I did find out the “nyan” is a Japanese word that means “meow” basically. So, Nyan Cat is Meow Cat I guess :-).

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The right gift at the right time :-)

February 23, 2012

FYI – For those faint of heart or not liking swearing – a few bad words do show up in today’s post.

Yesterday, I opened the mailbox to find 2 packages. One was for Jeff as expected, but the other one was addressed to “Mom Hackmann”. What?? Well, that would be me, and I don’t know why anyone else in this family would buy something and then have it sent to them as “Mom Hackmann”. So, I opened it and guess what? It WAS for me! It was a 365 day calendar – you know, the kind where you tear off a sheet a day – and called “The Daily Bitch – Includes your recommended daily dose of bitching.” HAHAHAHA – OMG – I laughed my butt off right there!

The other great thing? The timing was perfect! I’ve had a few bad days already this week (but I won’t go into that right now) and so this came at just the right time. Oh, and who was it from? Well, at first I thought it might be Chris, but then I thought it might be Matt because I sent him this book (warning – also profanity and vulgarity here so don’t look unless it doesn’t bother you) a few weeks ago. I knew he liked The Oatmeal website, and when I saw the book I couldn’t resist. Besides, I’m always trying to beat him to the punch when it comes to gifts for birthdays or Christmas. He always buys himself stuff I would have bought him so then I have to come up with new ideas. :-/ Anyway, the calendar did indeed come from Matt and I have to say, what fun kids I have and we know each other well. Heh.

Here’s a few photos – check out what today’s says – LOL!

So THANK YOU again Matt for such a great gift – love it!

[ETA – Don’t worry, I won’t keep the calendar out on my nightstand lest the younger kids see it. I do know what is for adults and what is for children. Now back to your regularly scheduled program.]

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Today’s Gift

February 19, 2012

Remember I read “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp? Remember how after I read that I started looking for gifts each day – special things that seemed to be only for me? Well, today, I received one of those gifts.

I was in Aldi waiting for the conveyer belt to free up so I could get my groceries on it, when I spied the flower rack. In that rack – right in the middle – was this bouquet of beautiful pink roses! I went closer to have a look and decided to buy them. They were only $3 and I really needed a lift today.

Back home, after I unloaded the groceries, I found my favorite vase and put the roses in. However, I saved the pinkest one to put in this beautiful little vase I have and rarely get to use. That one went to my room on my nightstand. Later that day, that single flower opened up so much and it is just incredible in its beauty – that’s when I realized it. This is a gift – a very special gift.

A bit fuzzy, but the beauty is still there.

The rose on my nightstand in all its glory!

Thank you Lord for your gifts today!

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Not enough sleep? Hormone crash? You be the judge!

February 15, 2012

Today after lunch I was going to ask my two sons, Joe and Steve, to clear the table from lunch. However, that’s not what came out, this is what I said:

“Joe and Steve, would you go ahead and turn the tv off please.”

WHA???? Even Joe said, “What did you say??” and then laughed his head off. *rolling eyes*

That’s right up there with the time that I told one of my older boys (then a youngster) to “hop in the toilet” when I meant “hop in the tub”. Oh yeah, I can still hear the guffawing today.

So, when I went to Aldi to pick up a few things we needed, I saw a Christmas cd in the van and put that in to listen to on my way there. Instantly I was soothed by the sounds of the Trapp Family Singers singing old fashioned carols. But, it doesn’t stop there! I went in to Aldi, and immediately grabbed a giant Fruit and Nut bar and some of their yummy hazelnut wafer bars. Down the aisle I also grabbed two boxes of brownie mix so I could whip up a treat for the kids. Hey, Mom is having a bad day – let’s all have chocolate!

Did I say bad day? Oh yeah, I forgot about the Broccoli Cheese Soup that was almost just broccoli soup (I used the cheese packets from 2 boxes of mac and cheese to make it do). Well, it was nothing that Christmas music and chocolate couldn’t cure. Oh, and maybe I’ll get more sleep and have a brain cell infusion too. Couldn’t hurt right?

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Snow Day!

February 13, 2012

Today we woke up to a couple inches of snow and already it is melting away. I let the kids play in it as much as possible because I knew it was going to be short lived and may be the last snow we get this year since we are already half way through February. I won’t mind if it’s the last snow we get this year – last year we had more than enough to cover several years! So, here’s what we did this morning:

Becky making a snowball to throw.

Katie pondering footprints...or something.

Joe considering the beauty of the snow...yeah, right.

Even Sally has fun in the snow!

Maggie puts the finishing touches on her "Snow Cat".

It's Snow Cat!

The branches on trees always look as if someone sifted powdered sugar on them.

Not bad…not bad at all for a Monday.

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From Oh Cr*p! to A-Ha!

February 12, 2012

Yesterday morning when I got up I did the usual stuff, including flushing the toilet. Obviously the toilet didn’t want to be flushed because it backed up. I thought it was going to go down so I turned my back. Result? An overflowing toilet all over our hardwood floor. I plunged and got everything down, and grabbed a towel from the shower curtain rack. That’s when the whole rack fell down into the tub. Le sigh. But, I just went about my business cleaning up and then going downstairs to get breakfast and coffee.

Now, in a previous part of my life, this whole episode would have reduced me to tears and wonder why the universe was against me. Not this time. This time, I accepted it as just being what it was – a clogged toilet and a shower curtain that just came down. Simple. Apparently, I have made much progress to get to this point and I feel pretty proud of myself. Now, watch, there will be another day when I’ll blame the universe, but for now I’m going to revel in the fact that I have progressed. That I have overcome the depression (for the most part) and moved forward into a brighter day. A day filled with normal stuff and accepting it as normal stuff. What a revelation!

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Poetry Corner

February 10, 2012

About a week or so ago I thought of a song that I love and hadn’t thought of in years. This song would have been a good title for a blog – I Am A Rock. My blog especially since I have lived much of the emotion of those words. I suspect many people have. It’s a great song by Simon and Garfunkel and the words ring true for just about everybody at some point in their lives. I hadn’t thought of it in a long time, until a friendship started wavering, and then it came back to me. I looked it up, found a video on You Tube, and a comment there mentioned that this was really poetry set to music and that is very true! Actually, there are other songs like this – poetry set to music – but I hadn’t really thought of it before. Okay, let’s go through this bit by bit because I think it’s worth talking about.

A winter’s day
In a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
I am an island

Winter, December, snow – this probably takes place in winter, but also there is more going on since it’s also “deep and dark” and not just outside. The snow is called a shroud and maybe he feels that he is more alive than those outside are because being with others only causes pain and if you are out there, you open yourselves up to a kind of death. Inside, it – the pain – cannot touch you – a rock, an island.

I’ve built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship – friendship causes pain
Its laughter and its loving I disdain
I am a rock
I am an island

Ever done that – built walls around yourself? You get hurt over and over and pretty soon you withdraw and stop putting yourself out there because you can’t take getting hurt again. That’s when the walls go up and you just don’t open yourself up to people anymore. And disdain is a strong word – it means a feeling of contempt – friendship is something the writer doesn’t even want to go near. Even the song is sung with strong feelings so you really understand the depth of what the writer is going through…and sympathize.

Don’t talk of love
But I’ve heard the word before
It’s sleeping in my memory
I won’t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock
I am an island

Here we see the writer having gone through either a romantic breakup or even a friend or family member who may have died. There is pain in loving someone – sometimes a lot of pain – and when we love someone (whether it is romantic or friendship or even family) we really open ourselves up to that pain. So to avoid that pain we close ourselves off from our feelings and others – we’re not going to open those wounds up by falling in love or allowing ourselves to love or be loved again.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock
I am an island

Yep, we find ways to keep busy or to hide or withdraw so we don’t have to go out into the world and engage with other people. The writer has books and his writing as his shield and armor to hide behind so that they don’t have to talk with or be around other people. Today it’s tech stuff and tv that people hide behind to block out their feelings or the world or whatever is hurting them. The writer’s bedroom becomes his womb – the safest place we come from where you are alone and sheltered and relatively safe. I touch no one and no one touches me – either physically or emotionally – you are removed from the world.

And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries

You would think you feel no pain and not cry if you don’t let other people in your life, and maybe after many many years you do get to be this way. However, the reality is, you DO cry and you DO feel pain because loneliness is that way however you arrive at it. These are my favorite lines of the whole song because it’s the reason why the writer has cut himself off from everyone – the pain is so hard to live through. And sometimes you don’t think you will live through it. Most of us do however, although it may take a long time.

So, read through, check the song out and see what you think of this poetry set to music. For me, I’ll probably go to Amazon and download it :-). Enjoy!

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