Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Bunny Day!

July 17, 2012

Today (Monday) was indeed Bunny Day and for the kids it was wonderfully fun! A local gal brought in her Holland Lop Rabbits to show the kids for today’s reading program day. Becky was especially excited as she loves bunnies. Heck she even has a Webkinz bunny named Fluffy (of course).

The Bunny Lady arrived and let the kids pet the bunnies before her talk began. After the kids sat down, she explained a little bit about the rabbits and afterwards took questions from the kids. Well, my kids (even Joe) had plenty of questions for her and everyone learned a lot more about bunnies than we had known. After the Q & A period, she let the kids pet the bunnies again and that’s when I snapped a few photos. Oh, and Maggie made sure to point out to Miss Becky that our Becky shared her name and was also a bunny lover :-). Becky had been waiting and waiting for today and was not disappointed.

All the way to the van, on the way home, and after we were home, the talk was about bunnies and all the interesting things we earned. It was a great afternoon indeed!

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TGIF

July 6, 2012

It’s been a busy week for me but the results have been good so far.

Monday was another reading program day at our library and this week there was a juggler! Joe and Katie both were even picked to help with tricks – Katie did plate spinning with 3 other kids, and Joe did a trick with a whip and balloons and a blindfold. Don’t worry – the guy poked the balloons to pop them. It was cool. I have to say, not being the young mommy with babies and toddlers is nice – I actually get to enjoy the performance now! Matt and Jeff asked me if I remember seeing a magician at a reading program long ago, but I don’t. Must have had a baby or a toddler :-).

Tuesday I had an ultrasound. NO, I’m not pregnant, but parts of me are having change of life issues and I want to see what’s available to stop that. I won’t know the results until next Tuesday when I see the ob/gyn again. So far no one has called about anything, so I’m going to assume all is fairly normal.

Wednesday was the Fourth, and Matt and Jeff traveled home for the day. It was weird because they were just visiting instead of staying home for the weekend which always feels like they’re still here. A good time was had by everyone at any rate. We even snuck in a Mhing card game and yours truly won TWO games!! That’s unheard of people – must be these great meds I’m on :-). The boys stayed until after the Boston Pops Fireworks and headed home. Katie was already sleeping by then so she missed saying goodbye. Oh well – it had been a long day.

Thursday was low key for a change. Just school in the morning and laundry and resting in the afternoon. A nice day. I did use the fact that Mike is home on vacation to my advantage and sent him on a couple of errands – bwahahahaha. I know how to work it :-).

Friday – today – I had my second visit with the physician assistant. My blood pressure has gone done very nicely, but it still a little higher than she would like. So, she upped my bp meds a little and will see me in two weeks. Overall, she is very pleased with my progress and so am I. I’m starting to have some emotional spells about it though. It’s a lot to take in all at once and I’m hoping that once things start leveling off I can get back to a more normal life. Well, a new normal anyway.

So, that was my week. It’ll be another hot weekend here and then it will finally cool back to more decent temps by Monday – thankfully! I think that will help how everyone feels around here too. I may get to sit outside or even walk outside in the mornings again :-). That would indeed be very nice. Happy Friday!

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Educational Connections

July 3, 2012

I was reading an article in a magazine recently that talked about connections and she talked about what educational connections look like. I also call them tie – ins. You know, you’re doing one thing at the same time something else related to that subject comes up? They can be accidental or planned, but you’ll know when the connection is made. Well, we’ve been having a lot of those lately and it’s so exciting!

Last week I bought this little microscope and it has been a huge hit with everyone! The kids (and myself) have looked at a multitude of things from tree bark to ham. Yes – ham! I didn’t realize it when I bought it, but it made the perfect tie-in with the book Katie and Becky were reading – “Greg’s Microscope” by Millicent Selsam.

Here’s another one. I bought Steve a book on whittling because he’s good at it, but needs more direction on how to make more things and maybe bigger things. Katie and Becky started reading “Daniel’s Duck” by Clyde Robert Bulla and it’s about a little boy who wants to carve something. Hm – getting the idea?

Okay. In a science lesson, Maggie and Joe were reading about friction and resistance. Yesterday we read the first two chapters of “The Wright Brothers” and it talked about a sled their mom helped them make. What did she teach them about? Wind resistance and friction!

One more. Katie and Becky were reading about the skeleton and how the muscles work. Well, big brother Chris goes to the gym to “buff up” as I say and when he came home that day what was Katie talking to him about? Muscles and how they work – she had remembered how the top and bottom muscles relax and contract in your arm! Then she wanted him to show off his muscles and of course he obliged :-).

These are the things that make teaching so worthwhile and seeing your kids faces light up in that a-ha moment are even more satisfying.

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Payment Due

July 1, 2012

This is not only the title of this blog post, but also the title of the “thirtysomething” episode I watched tonight. It is a parallel of sorts to what is going on in my own life. One of my favorite sayings about other people is, “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt”. I haven’t even touched my own denial about my health. But that’s about to change. Warning: spoilers ahead :-).

In this episode, Ellyn is taking a ton of stomach remedies because she knows she has something going on – like “just an ulcer”. Yet, she continues to deny to her friends – and herself – that anything is really wrong. Her friends try to help, but she keeps pushing everyone away. Her boyfriend knows that something is wrong, but she won’t admit it. One of her lines to Hope is, “I’m always fine”. Hmm – yes – classic denial.

Her family doctor tells her to go to a GI doctor to find out what’s going on and refuses to prescribe any more meds. She throws away the piece of paper with the GI doc’s name on it. In the meantime she chugs coffee and does everything she usually does pretending that everything is okay. Among other things – hey! – I’m not going to give off the whole episode!

Now, let’s talk about me. Yes, I’ve been just like Ellyn. I’ve known that something is wrong, but just couldn’t put my finger on it. High blood pressure crossed my mind, but I’d push it out as soon as it came to light. I know I’m overweight, yet I’ve kept on eating chocolate and goodies whenever I need them to fix my feelings. And sometimes just because they taste good. I started drinking caffeinated coffee the last couple of months knowing full well that it’s not a good thing for me to do. Yet, thinking all the time, “I’m fine”.

Things go from bad to worse and one night Ellyn ends up coughing up blood and that is when she finally realizes that something is very, very wrong. Yet, she tries to drive herself to the hospital repeating “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay”, knowing that she isn’t. She finally asks someone for help to get her a cab so she can get to the hospital.

Last Thursday I drove myself to the doctor’s office to see the P.A. knowing that my blood pressure was very high – stroke level is what she said. That’s why I went to the P.A. – because I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer. She made me take some bp meds right away and scheduled me in for the following week. She also said, “We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other.” Somehow that makes me feel better.

When her doctor comes to see her he tells her that she is going to have to change her ways: You’ve got to change your life, you’ve got to change your work habits, and find some way to relax. I can treat the symptoms, but if you don’t deal with the causes you won’t get well. Period.

My doctor doesn’t have to tell me that I need to change my ways – I know it. I’ve known for a long time. Because my blood pressure was high when I delivered the twins, I really didn’t think much about it. So for 9 years it has had a chance to get worse – especially after I put this weight back on. Now is the time to take care of it and now is the time to make changes in my life. The weird thing is, I feel like I now have “permission” to eat right and lose weight – I have a reason. Like before just doing it for myself or so I could look and feel better wasn’t enough. Wow – what a revelation!

I also need to cut the stress and that’s going to be a little harder, but I’ve got to find ways to do it. Delegating projects is the first way and we’ll see what else I can do after that.

When she gets home from the hospital, Ellyn finds out that her boyfriend has left. She calls her mom and goes to stay with her awhile. She realizes at last that something has to give – that she isn’t okay and that she does need help. She calls the therapist that her doctor recommended. Crying and trying to keep it together she leaves a message for him. I made the same type of call back in 2008. I understand that pain.

So now I’m on a blood pressure medicine and it has actually made a huge difference. I truly had no idea just how bad it was before. I’ve been losing some weight due to chugging water instead of coffee. The swelling I had been experiencing (and chalking up to weight) has lessened a lot. My hands and feet feel downright skinny! I feel calmer and I have tools to use to take care of myself.

Yesterday I went to the store and bought mostly healthy foods that were on the menu plan I’m following for the week. My goal is to lose weight and lower my blood pressure. My kids need me and I have to do it for them too.

I feel like Humpty Dumpty – broken physically. Hopefully between my good doctors and myself we can heal what’s wrong and put me back together again.

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Musical Mommy – It’s All the Rage

June 16, 2012

Yes, my kids have been playing what I call “Musical Mommy” for quite a while now. You’ve heard of musical chairs right? Well, this is similar. First Mom must be stretched out on the couch relaxing. Second, a child must scoot in next to Mom for a snuggle. When that child decides to move on, another child comes in beside Mom to take the other child’s place. And it goes on, until most kids have snuggled with Mom. Musical Mommy – what a great game!

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I’m Not That Blogger

June 14, 2012

Nope, I’m just an ordinary woman who is almost 50 and homeschools 5 of her 8 children and plays Suzy Homemaker each and every day by cleaning house and making meals. I do not command an audience of 2,000,000 hits a month. I do not get 500 comments on a post. I do not write books or ebooks that make me money on the side. I don’t even belong in some of these mommy blog circles – so many are much younger than me and only have toddlers and babies. BTDT! I still have kids at home, but my nest is emptying and there aren’t many bloggers like me with different ages and stages while entering your 50’s.

Sometimes I don’t update my blog often because usually some crap is going on like sickness, tornado weather, or hormones (or all 3 at the same time). Sometimes it’s because my life is so incredibly ordinary that I wonder why anyone would want to read about it. And, obviously not many do.

What I do talk about is real though and it is my life and while it may not be perfect or thought provoking or laced with a gazillion pictures, it’s all I know and know how to do. And keeping it simple is best.

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End of a longish week

June 8, 2012

TGIF!! It’s been a longish week filled with dental appointments (with 2 kids), the library reading program (with 4 kids), and working out a billing snafu…UGH. My stress level reached its limit so I stopped school (much to the delight of my children) and focused on cleaning house. Housecleaning is good for me because I get good exercise from it :-). And I know that the more I move, the better I feel – you’d THINK I’d be doing more of it knowing that. I’ve also been spending more time outside now that we have that cute patio set. In fact, the kids have been spending more time outside too so it’s been a great benefit to all of us. Then again, that was the plan :-).

Today it’s grocery shopping because Matt and Jeff are coming in this evening and we have to have lots of food. It’s also Matt’s birthday today (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT!) and we’ll be celebrating tomorrow. Yep, he’s getting ever closer to 30 – bwahahahahaha!! Sorry – couldn’t help myself. Especially since they all talk about how I’m a DINOSAUR! :-) Hell, I KNOW I’m old and actually I’m kind of looking forward to being 50. But anyway…

The question is since I’m at burnout, should I continue school or should I get some other things in place and take the next two months off and start the new school year in August. The other option is continuing doing school in the mornings and then being free to do the other stuff (like cleaning and organizing this place and pulling myself together) in the afternoons. I’m thinking of finding a good used copy of Math It for math drill and maybe going ahead and doing Winston Grammar for the English. I could pull out my little religion books to read to the younger ones (they have been standards in this house for years) as well. Also, I could continue to read the history readers from SL and do the hands on science stuff from them as well. SO – I have options.

BTW – the dental appointments went very well, the billing problem was (hopefully) fixed, and the reading program will become a regular thing this summer (the kids loved it). So, sometimes it’s a good idea to sit back and recharge so that life can be lived and problems can be worked out. Happy Weekend!!

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More On Reading Together As A Family

June 5, 2012

Remember my post the other day about our favorite books? Well, Matt has posted about – what else – our family read aloud time! Matt and I share a brain so it really isn’t surprising that we’re thinking about the same things :-). Anyway, that post was so good that I wanted to give you the link to it.

A Reminiscing Walk Through Literature

Go read about the joy of spending time as a family reading books aloud. Hmmm – maybe it’s time to pick up the Little House series where we left off.

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Be Available

June 4, 2012

I wrote this blog post last year, but never published it. Lately though it has been haunting me again and I know that I need to make changes. Here’s what I wrote:

These words – be available – have been coming to me lately in regards to my children and you know what? It is exactly what I need to do – be more available to them. See, I have been letting other things get in the way and steal my time instead of being around my kids. Sure I’m with my kids every day, but I was getting kind of worn down and sought out my computer and mindless viewing as a way to de-stress. The last few days I decided to heed that voice inside and be available to my kids when they needed me. Which apparently was a lot! I guess I’d been hiding in the office more than I thought I had. Today, I had lots of helpers in the kitchen and read plenty of books with the younger ones. I’ve also noticed when I am more available to my kids that things run a little smoother around here in regard to behaviors. So, I’ll keep this up and make sure that my priorities stay where they should be. It’s not a bad thing to take time for myself, I just need to make sure I’m not taking time away from other areas either.

I want to add that a way I am available to my children is during storms – and last night we had storms! Lots of thunder and lightning and a dumping of rain everywhere (flooding rain to be exact). Early on, I came down to check on the radar and Steve joined me shortly thereafter. I enjoyed the time to just sit and talk together – it doesn’t happen as often now that he is getting older. Then there was a big crack of thunder followed by the thud of footsteps on the stairs from three little girls :-). Becky and I snuggled a little and then I just let her sleep after she took my spot when I left to check the radar on the computer. Later, there was another mighty crash of thunder and Becky’s head popped up and she looked for me and, after noticing I was still around, she went back to sleep. I’m glad I am there for my kids especially when they are afraid. As they get older they will pull away from needing mom, but for now they need the security of knowing I am there for them.

Anywho – that’s another goal for the month – be m0re available to my kids.

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A Prayer for the Feast of the Holy Trinity

June 3, 2012

Actually it’s not a prayer just for today – it’s one to pray every day. I read a book by Fr. Oscar Lukefahr titled “We Live – To Know, Love, and Serve God”. In it, he gives a 3 minute nighttime prayer “formula” so to speak and I’ve been praying this prayer for two years now. It has been an easy prayer to remember and one that has brought me much peace. Here’s what you do:

“Begin the first minute by adoring Father, Son, and Holy Spirit with the Sign of the Cross and Glory Be. Then, think about the greatest blessing you’ve received in the past twenty-four hours, and thank God the Father for it. In the second minute, turn to Jesus, remember your most serious sin of the past twenty-four hours, and ask Jesus to forgive you. In the third, look ahead to the greatest challenge facing you in the next twenty-four hours and ask the Holy Spirit to help you face that challenge.” (excerpted from “We Live” by Fr. Oscar Lukefahr, CM)

A very simple but very effective prayer this is! So, start today by praying this prayer and see how it helps you grow in your relationship with the Blessed Trinity. Happy Feast Day!

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