Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Five Things

November 15, 2016

1) Today was better than yesterday, but busy-ness still prevails. Two birthdays and Thanksgiving are on tap next week as well. I’m going to declare Tuesday a do nothing day. I hope I get to stick to that. :-P

2) Watching “My So-Called Life”…again.

3) Reading “Unplug The Christmas Machine” and “A Season of Little Sacraments” – both giving me lots to think about as I prepare for the upcoming holiday season. Hopefully less stressed and more mindful this year.

4) I think I need to minimize and get back to basics. Scrap plans not working and put into place the ones that do. Hmm – feels like deja vu all over again.

5) I watched “The Turning Point” this week – such a great movie and the ballet is so beautiful.

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Music Monday – Home For the Holidays Soundtrack

November 14, 2016

One of my favorite movies is “Home For the Holidays” with Holly Hunter and Robert Downey Jr. It’s about a dysfunctional family who try to keep it together for Thanksgiving – and fail. I also love the music and I finally found the soundtrack on ebay for a mere $5 so I grabbed it while I had the chance. And I’m so glad I did! It’s my November/Thanksgiving music right now and it fits – especially in the morning or late afternoons (I’ve told you before it’s about mood, people). So, let’s go to the breakdown shall we?

1. Evil Ways by Rusted Root – This is a remake of the classic Santana hit and it’s a good remake – really good remake.

2. Holiday Blues by Mark Isham – A bluesy song reminiscent of the 30’s and 40’s blues and jazz. It’s a good song to listen to when things aren’t going quite right or you’re stuck in traffic.

3. Candy by Nat King Cole – A Cole classic from 1956. I don’t think it plays in it’s entirety in the movie so I’m glad it’s on the album.

4. It’s Not Unusual by Tom Jones – Okay, trivia time! Who thought Tom Jones was American? Yeah, me too! Well, he’s not – he’s Welsh. Did you know this was his first hit? Yeah, me neither! I really like this song – both the music and the words.

5. Blue Nights by Mark Isham – Another song like Holiday Blues and these little bluesy songs are really the focal musical backdrop to the movie – the main soundtrack if you will. Love the organ music intro – you can almost hear trouble brewing.

6. Birth of the Cool Whip by Mark Isham – see above

7. Trouble in Mind – Dinah Washington – Not my favorite on the album, but I do like it. Again, a bluesy song and the title punctuates the character Tommy. To be honest, I’m going to need to go back in the movie to see where this one shows up because I don’t remember it. They may have just used a small clip of the song.

8. The Late Night Blues by Mark Isham – I think this is the music used when Tommy and his friend show up at Tommy’s parents house. Again, see comment on Blue Nights. :-)

9. Medley: The Very Thought of You/With Us Alone Medley by Mark Isham – A very sweet, quiet acoustic piano medley of these two songs.

10. The Very Thought of You by Mark Isham – A very jazzy riff on Cole’s song.

11. The Very Thought of You by Nat King Cole – This is my personal favorite on this album! Just so beautiful and sweet. A song about when you first love someone and how all your thoughts turn to that person wherever you’re at. How you can’t wait to be with them again. The music even feels day dreamy. And the placement in the movie was perfect.

12. Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin (under Big Brother and the Holding Company) – My least favorite song on the album. While it is bluesy, I’m just not that into Janis Joplin’s style. I do like the words though. What is sad here is the fact that Janis Joplin died at 27 years old – my God – way too young.

So, that’s it. There are a few other incidental songs from the movie that aren’t on this album, but that’s ok. I think what’s here is good and when I listen I can see the various parts of the movie go through my head. I love the movie and I love the music and it totally fits my Thanksgiving/Fall mood this year. :-)

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Cultivating Silence

November 12, 2016

Hmmm, I wrote this back in February – before Lent – and thinking it’s time to revisit it. Advent is like a little Lent anyway, but the need to become quieter, especially now, has come to the front of my mind again.

I love the movie Into Great Silence and there are times I crave what those monks have and yet I’m not even sure of what it is. They have a peacefulness about them, they are drawn more to the outdoors and nature, they are drawn to God through silence within and without. There is no internet (except for the one monk who pays the bills), no phones, no distractions at all.

In my world there are loads of distractions: kids fighting, toilets overflowing, errand running, and on and on. However, I add distractions to those distractions in the form of internet, tv watching, and (sometimes) play more than my usual 30 minutes of Animal Crossing.

So, I have been thinking on this for quite some time – silence and how to cultivate it in myself. I’m not a quiet person, but I’ve been increasingly feeling the need to become quieter inside and to still some of the noise around me as well. Well, the noise that is within my power to still. I think it’s time to try. Keep my distractions at near zero so that I can listen to the One who I should be listening to the most.

So, the first thing will be cutting mindless tv and internet viewing. I hardly ever watch tv anyway, but I turn it on in the morning just to see what’s on. Of course, if there is iffy weather approaching, I will watch weather for that – that’s an essential in the middle of the U.S.. But then there is the mindless QVC watching – yeah, that’s a distraction. That needs to go.

Self help books and magazines, except for the ones that I’m using directly in the things I’m making a change in, will need to lay around like lumps. Instead, prayer will replace them. Maybe I’ll do a personal divine office if you will. Every so often sit and pray or meditate for 5 minutes.

Take more time to be with my kids and do things with them. Yeah, I know, I’m with them a lot due to the homeschooling, but you know sometimes I’m more teacher than mom and I need to make sure I’m mom as much as I can. Last night Becky and I played three rounds of Mille Bournes and afterwards Maggie and Katie came along and the four of us talked. That’s what I (and they) need more of.

Luckily I hardly ever touch my cell phone except to make an actual call, take an actual call, or text someone intentionally so I’m ok there.

Then there’s the talking I do. Like I said, I’m not a quiet person – I tend to need to fill any kind of silence with something. So, maybe less talking and more listening and thinking about what I really want to say? I don’t know – maybe that’s an advanced level for later but I can always do less talking.

So, there it is. Cultivating silence for Lent – hopefully it will be the beginning of a new relationship with the Lord for me.

Okay – first of all – I think I’m replacing doing with doing? Where does the silence and solitude come in? I actually bought a book on that so maybe it’s time to dust it off and attempt these spiritual disciplines. I will say that I have cut back on tv and internet this year. I have felt the tug recently to eschew self-help stuff and think – what did people used to do before everyone told them what to do? Time to think on that again too. Okay – enough deep stuff for today, but good to ponder.

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DVD Haul – Part 2

November 11, 2016

I decided what the hell, let’s talk about those other 2 movies I just bought. One old, one newer, both about love and life, but different generations and different time periods.

You’ve Got Mail – I usually don’t go for this kind of movie, but this one seemed a little different. It’s based upon another movie called, “The Shop Around the Corner” and apparently there were scenes in You’ve Got Mail that were exactly the same. Kind of cool that. There’s also a little “Pride and Prejudice” going on and I liked that too. It’s also a Nora Ephron movie and though I don’t know much about her, I know she was well loved. I am enjoying the commentary on this movie with her and her sister – it’s just fascinating.

What really drew me to this movie were the scenes with Hanks and Ryan sitting in front of their archaic laptops and using AOL and hearing the old dial up tones and then “You’ve Got Mail” – hence the title. I kind of miss it sometimes. What I don’t miss is how long it took to connect to AOL – thank God for DSL!! The movie is about two bookstores and the competition between the little guy and the big guy and a mystery romance with a twist. But you can check it out yourself.

This movie is sweet and I think I like it because it was from 1998 when I was so much younger and things were very different – no cell phones for one. A gentler time I’d like to think. So, if you have never seen it and you like romantic comedies pick it up – it may be one you enjoy.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel – I actually saw the second one first and I had lots of questions at the end of it – mostly how they (the characters) got to where they were from the first movie. But,the dvd ended up being lost at my library and I found it for $5 used at a local store so I just bought it and glad I did!

It’s about men and women in their second act of life and that’s what really drew me to this one – because I’m older now too at almost 54. It has a lot to say about marriage, being widowed, being single at an older age, retirement, adult kids – you get the idea. There are also so many good lines in this movie and Maggie Smith had a lot of them per usual. But a lot of the dialogue was moving and made you ponder things. It’s also damn funny. I especially like the scene where maggie Smith’s character is on her way to India and crams her bag full of “essentials” – PG Tips and Milk Chocolate Digestives. I’d do that too. :-)

If you are older see this one! If you are younger – see this one because some day you will be older too. And it comes so much quicker than you think.

Oh and while Richard Gere was in Marigold 2 – I didn’t like it nearly as much as this one.

So, my very quick reviews because it’s almost 9pm and that’s past my bedtime. :-P I’m going to leave you with one of the gems from Marigold Hotel (and there were many to choose from):

“The only real failure is the failure to try. And the measure of success is how we deal with disappointment. As we always must.”

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Down By Two Posts

November 10, 2016

So, yeah, I know I’m down by two posts in this blog throwdown, but it’s been a busy week. One of my daughters broke her finger – tripped on the sidewalk – on Friday , and that’s been my focus. Also, the damned election where I spent almost an hour to sign my name, fill out the ballot, and cast my vote. I heard some old geezer make a sexist comment on his way out and I wanted to smack him, but ya know – karma.

Matt has a fantastic stream of consciousness post that I loved! Made me laugh and let me tell you we need all the laughter we can get right now. There’s a great Twitter, Facebook, and blog called You Had One Job and it’s frickin’ hilarious. My kids and I were laughing our butts off on Tuesday evening looking through the posts – stress relieving for sure.

Yesterday I spent quietly with no news, very little Facebook, and mostly cleaning the house because that really has to be kept up. Not happy, scared, but I can’t wallow in sadness either. What I can do is put my big girl panties on and keep making a difference because hatred has been around a long time and it’s going to keep being around because people are people. We get hurt and angry and sometimes we carry those hurts a long time. Like Robert Downey Jr says in Home For the Holidays, “Just lay it down already will ya?” Yep, I need to do that too. I have a backpack of crap I strap on a lot of the time, but I’ve been slowly taking stuff out and putting it aside and that backpack is a little lighter these days. But kindness – kindness is always in and it’s right now that we need to cultivate it in our own lives and pass it on as we go about our lives. Find opportunities every day for little acts of goodness and light – we ALL need to give and receive them no matter who we are.

So, I’m going to wrap it up here. I wouldn’t say it’s stream of consciousness – it’s just generally how I think. My mind is always full of stuff and it’s a rare moment I sit and think of nothing. Silence – it’s a spiritual practice I’m still trying to cultivate. I’ll leave you with the words of Jewel from “Hands”:

If I could tell the world just one thing it would be – we’re all okay.
And not to worry ’cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these.
I won’t be made useless – I won’t be idle with despair
I’ll gather myself around my faith for light does the darkness most fear.

Amen sister.

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DVD Haul

November 9, 2016

I wrote this a few (several?) months ago, but since I’m struggling to find something to write about I’ll post it now. It’s cheery at least.

Wooot! My DVD’s are all in now and I wanted to share what I got. I received two generous Amazon gift cards and so I used them to buy a book I dearly wanted and six dvd’s I had been pining for. Here’s the damage (and spoilers in case you haven’t seen any of these):

1. Gigi – This is a classic from 1958 and I bought it because I’m afraid some day it won’t be around and I’d be missing out. Leslie Caron and Louis Jourdan are main characters in a sweet story by Colette about men, women, and romance, with music and beautiful scenery. It is the kind of movie you don’t see anymore and it’s a shame – I really feel like I get my money’s worth out of these kinds of movies. Louis Jourdan died last year at the age of 93 (I didn’t know he was that old!) and this is one of his best. My two favorite scenes are “I Remember It Well” with the older couple remembering their own romance, and the one with Jourdan strolling through Paris at night deciding on how he feels about Gigi. Absolutely beautiful.

2. Paris When It Sizzles – A beautiful romantic movie with Audrey Hepburn and William Holden. I’ve often wondered if some of it didn’t mirror their in real life romance. I read recently that when Holden arrived for the filming he didn’t know if he could keep it together between his alcoholism and his feelings for Audrey. I think not everyone would like this one – it switches around quite a bit – but it’s pure Audrey magic to me. I also noticed they put references to previous movies of Audrey in it so if you do watch see if you can catch those. Favorite scene? This is going to sound silly, but when Audrey comes out of her room in a gorgeous Givenchy nightgown and robe. OMG!!! She is so stunning! Makes me tear up every time.

3. My Fair Lady – An Audrey Hepburn classic and like Gigi a gorgeous musical. I have always loved this one since I was quite young, although I probably missed the essence of it all back then. Now I understand and it’s even richer. My favorite scene? The end but I won’t give that away – tissues, people, tissues.

4. Shirley Valentine – This movie is one that only a woman in her 40’s or 50’s could understand. It is my personal mid-life crisis movie. One of these days I’m going to write out some of the lines. So, so poignant and if you’re going through the same thing, you’ll cry. You’ll cry because whoever wrote this gets it! They get wondering where the hell you went to after 20 or 30 years of marriage and parenting and little else in that bubble. It will make you laugh your ass off at some of the comments (mention here – there is bawdy humor and language so if you don’t like that you probably won’t like this movie). I find it charming and refreshing. Anywho, if you’re looking for a grown up woman movie this is one to try. You might like it.

5. The Devil Wears Prada – One of my secret favorites because it is about fashion and I love fashion. Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci are just so good in this one! My favorite scene? When Anne Hathaway finally understands what the magazine she works for is all about, and Tucci’s character has her made over with great clothes, hair, and makeup. Madonna’s “Vogue” is the music and we see Hathaway in numerous gorgeous outfits! OMG If only I was younger…le sigh.

6. Enchanted – I LOVE this movie! It’s a mash up of Disney fairy tale movies and watching it is fun as you watch and say, “Oh that’s from (fill in the blank)!” I’ll spare you all my my thoughts on fairy tales and real life for now, but this movie combines fantasy and reality well. Lots of good elements for young girls as well as us maturer types. Some of it may seem downright silly, but it is a fairy tale after all. It’s just tempered a bit with the realities of modern life and a twist on the knight in shining armor at the end. All in all a lovely way to spend a couple of hours.

I also recently bought “You’ve Got Mail” and “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” – maybe I should review those tomorrow.

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Weekend Gallery

November 6, 2016

I have a few photos to share today – nothing pumpkin spice or Frozen related thank goodness! Just a few cute things I thought you might like. :-)

Becky laughed like crazy when she saw this cat face pancake pan! It is cute and I guess everyone else thinks so too because it was the only one there!

And for the drinker on your list – a cute flask.

See the sign? Don’t wake the bear! I also liked this because Maggie has dubbed her dad “The Sleeping Bear” when he’s home on vacation. Probably that snoring thing he does.

Or it could be this bear we shouldn’t be waking!! He looks too cute to be of any harm though. We did see a lot of huge stuffed animals which is usual around the holidays.

And that’s it for this week – short and sweet. Enjoy your day!

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The Early Bird

November 5, 2016

I really like it when I can get up early in the morning – before anyone else is awake. I grab something for breakfast and a cup of coffee. I watch the sun come up turning the dark sky to different shades of blue and then bright yellows and oranges. I especially love the dark shapes of the backyard against the sky. Some day I might try to take a picture of it – it is so beautiful.

While the outside show is going on, I eat my breakfast and drink my coffee while going through emails and the few blogs I peruse. I have time to pause and think about my day and look at my mile long to do list so I can stay on track. I have added reading a book on spirituality and then, after reading a chapter, I pray using what I’ve read as a springboard to conversation.

Then, once the coffee cup is drained and kids are up, the morning begins – a bustling to get things done. But if I start off right – with that extra time for myself – my day goes smoother.

It’s a lovely routine and ritual and I think I need to protect it a little more.

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Changes in Attitude

November 4, 2016

So, this last Saturday I was at the mall and my oldest daughter was trying on a couple of shirts in a store geared for teens and 20’s. While waiting for her to model, out of the next door fitting room came a woman in her mid to late 50’s (i.e. MY age), in a pair of jeans and she was rocking that look! My mind was blown in that moment! Someone MY age in THAT store in THOSE jeans?? Hell yeah! I thought about that and decided I needed an attitude adjustment to aging right then and there. Especially MY aging.

Right now I’m not rocking any looks at all. My body is tired and worn out and overweight. I complain a lot about how I look and yet don’t actively do anything to reverse that. I’ve talked and talked and talked on this blog about making changes. Every time I would do that though, someone else had an issue and I would give up and sigh that I’ll never get around to taking care of myself. I think what I should do instead is to keep moving forward because A) if I’m stressed I need to take care of my health and B) there is never a perfect time for anything – crap happens. All the time.

My attitude on aging right now is this: OMG – I only have a few years left! Which is a sorry way to look at life because I’m only 53 even though some days I feel more like 93. Unfortunately, that kind of thinking can also help set up the “why should I bother” attitude which I explained in the last paragraph. In some ways though, if I really thought I only had a few years what would I do with it? I think we all have those thoughts as we age though. Part of that for me is the fact that I have no plans for the rest of my life (as in when the nest is completely empty) because I’m still raising 4 children and most of my time needs to go to that. However, I find myself now with a little more time than I had previously and I have fewer excuses to actually make changes (can you say “fear”?). I even bought a book called “It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again” by Julia Cameron. And I also found one called “From Mom to Me Again” by Melissa Shultz. I’m sure both of those can help give me the attitude (and perception) adjustment I’m seeking.

So, time to start flying right I guess. Time to drink the water and take the vitamins. Time to eat more protein, whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and a daily dose of yogurt for the gut. Oh and exercise (eeeek!). It’s a step in the right direction and more changes can flow from there.

I’ll be thinking about that lady for awhile (and her seriously flat stomach!!) and realize it’s long past time for me to make changes and stick with it. And if I don’t make changes, I just shouldn’t complain about things I can do something about. :-P

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This and That

November 3, 2016

Here’s what’s going down at the Oh Crap House:

*I’ve been to Starbucks a lot this year – enough to garner a free drink (sometimes two) every month.

* Reading books on Advent and Christmas and how to be more mindful during the holiday season. I will write more on this in a few days.

* Still haven’t had the big cry since everyone left in August. Just little rounds every now and then.

* Coming up to the anniversaries of people’s deaths – early November sucks.

* I have our turkey in the freezer awaiting Thanksgiving. I do this early every year in order to avoid the Roast Beef Thanksgiving 15+ years ago.

* Thinking about my “resolutions” for the year and how I’ve done on those. Progress has been made to some degree in each area.

* Looked at Oprah’s Favorite Things for this year on Amazon – found a few things that might be worth getting.

Now I’m off to bed because I’m super tired (hence the crappy post for today). Hopefully tomorrow I can get the words churning in my head down and be brave enough to hit post. Goodnight. :-)

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