Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

It’s A New Year

January 1, 2017

I think we all feel a little wobbly since the passing of 2016 and not knowing what this new year will bring. I try not to think about the crap that could happen and to just keep focused on what I need to do for me, my family, and my community every day. It is enough.

Am I making resolutions? Nope. Do I need to make changes? Yep. So, this year I’ll just keep on moving forward and making the changes I need to make while living my life in the normal lane. How did I do last year? Not great – so this year it’s just making changes as I go. No more I’m going to do this, that, or the other. I know what I need to do and I need to just do it and make those things a part of my life. No grandiose statements – just live the life I have. Again, it’s enough.

So, Happy New Year to all of you and let’s just keep on keeping on with the wisdom of St. Padre Pio – “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.” Amen.

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Music Monday – Christmas Edition

December 26, 2016

Today I’ve picked one of my favorites – Good King Wenceslaus! It is also the Feast of Stephen and so a good time to take a listen to this familiar carol.

The song is about St Wenceslaus – Wenceslaus I, Duke of Bohemia – who was known for his goodness. He was not actually a king but was made one posthumously and declared patron of the Czech state. He was also declared a saint and martyr immediately after his death (assasinated by his brother) and many stories and legends grew up around him and most were about his goodness and kindness to others.

The words were written in 1853 by John Mason Neale, but the thing I recently learned is that the tune was originally a spring song – Tempus Adest Floridum (you can go to Wikipedia to look that up on the GKW page). The song tells about the Good King and his page going to help a poor man on the Feast of Stephen – December 26 – and the miracle of that visit. It also has an admonition at the end to remind us to give generously to others.

I love both the words and the tune of this song – it has that wonderful Victorian Christmas vibe going through it and I love that. So many of our modern day Christmas traditions grew out of that time. But that’s another post altogether. Time to sing!

Good King Wenceslaus by John Mason Neale

Good King Wenceslas looked out
On the feast of Stephen
When the snow lay round about
Deep and crisp and even
Brightly shone the moon that night
Though the frost was cruel
When a poor man came in sight
Gath’ring winter fuel

So, Wenceslaus looks out of his window on December 26 and it is a nasty winter day. He sees a poor man trying to get wood for a fire for his home and an idea comes to him.

“Hither, page, and stand by me
If thou know’st it, telling
Yonder peasant, who is he?
Where and what his dwelling?”
“Sire, he lives a good league hence
Underneath the mountain
Right against the forest fence
By Saint Agnes’ fountain.”

Wenceslaus asks his page – his servant – if he knows who the poor man is and where he lives. Now a league is 3.5 miles which is pretty far out there if you’re walking. And in the 900’s it was walking or horse. I do not know what forest fence means unless it’s the beginning of the forest. At any rate, this man lives a ways out.

“Bring me flesh and bring me wine
Bring me pine logs hither
Thou and I will see him dine
When we bear him thither.”
Page and monarch forth they went
Forth they went together
Through the rude wind’s wild lament
And the bitter weather

Undaunted by the weather and the lengthy walk to this man’s house, the Good King tells his page to bring logs, food and wine to take to the poor man. In British countries December 26 is Boxing Day and the tradition of giving Christmas Boxes to service people to thank them for their work (one that goes back to the Middle Ages) is reminiscent here and may have been the aim of the songwriter. Anyway, back to our story. So, they’re loaded down with goodies for the poor man and start out in the “rude wind’s wild lament and bitter weather”. Sounds like the day we had last Monday – I stayed at home.

“Sire, the night is darker now
And the wind blows stronger
Fails my heart, I know not how,
I can go no longer.”
“Mark my footsteps, my good page
Tread thou in them boldly
Thou shalt find the winter’s rage
Freeze thy blood less coldly.”

So, walking 3.5 miles in brutal weather and carrying logs and other stuff is taking a toll on the page. The weather is worse and night is falling, but the good King forges on. He tells his servant to step in his footprints and his feet will be warmer and they’ll make this journey. Also, he says “tread thou in them boldly” – don’t be afraid.

In his master’s steps he trod
Where the snow lay dinted
Heat was in the very sod
Which the Saint had printed
Therefore, Christian men, be sure
Wealth or rank possessing
Ye who now will bless the poor
Shall yourselves find blessing

So, the page steps in his master’s footsteps and they were indeed warm – like mini heaters I imagine. A Christmas miracle! The version of the song I like best is one sung by the Vienna Boys Choir. The first four lines of the song are sung very boldly and slower than the rest of the song – to emphasize this miracle. The ending lines tell us that you will find a blessing for yourselves when you bless others. The page found warmth and strength to go on to this poor man’s home in return for his work to give warmth and strength to another. And I think it’s true. And even if we don’t get thanked or it seems people aren’t thankful we can still be glad we did what we did. Blessings will abound one way or another.

There aren’t any words about the party at the poor man’s house, but I’m sure it was a good one. He was most likely surprised to see his king there. And he probably invited them to stay the night to warm themselves, share a meal, and have company. What a great thing!

So, take a listen and also sing this one out loud folks! The great feast of Christmas has begun and it’s twelve days long! Enjoy your time with family and friends and take this opportunity to bless someone with a word, a hug, a meal, whatever. Especially those who serve you – mailman, city workers, store clerks, cashiers, etc.. This is often a difficult and thankless time for them so even if they seem rude, give them a break and smile and be nice anyway. Kindness never goes out of style and you may give them encouragement to go on as in our story. Happy St. Stephen’s Day!

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Gaudete Sunday

December 11, 2016

We lit the third candle on the Advent wreath yesterday for Gaudete Sunday. Gaudete means Rejoice so the day is all about rejoicing in the Lord. Henri Nouwen had this to say about JOY:

“the experience of knowing that you are unconditionally loved and that nothing — sickness, failure, emotional distress, oppression, war, or even death — can take that love away.”

Amen, Bro!

Oh, and here’s what Pope Francis has to say about Gaudete Sunday:

“Sunday of joy,” and that instead of fretting about “all they still haven’t” done to prepare for Christmas, people should “think of all the good things life has given you.”

Again – good words to think on especially as we approach the end of another year. I tend to think of the crap (especially in difficult years) instead of finding the good stuff that surely was there. Maybe it’s time for me to start that gratitude journal.

I also love how each Sunday the light from the candles shine brighter and brighter over the creche as one by one all are lit. This year we added some pieces to our set and the kids noticed right off the bat! Yes – my teens! I was happy. Because, you know, it often really is the little things that speak the loudest.

So, let’s rejoice in this season and if you see someone who could use some cheering up do something for them. Lend your spirit to theirs so that all can have even just a moment of joy amidst life’s difficulties.

Rejoice, rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel!

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First Sunday of Advent

November 27, 2016

Just a quick note to say that I love how Advent and Christmas are arranged on the calendar this year. There are 4 full weeks of Advent because Christmas starts on a Sunday! And then, be still my heart, the O Antiphons begin on the 4th Sunday of Advent and go all week until Christmas Eve. Okay, I think they officially start on the 17th, but I will break with tradition and do them that last week because it’s neater. Really – what’s one day off? Yeah, I’m kind of anal retentive that way. I like to be organized even though a lot of my life is actually disorganized. If I can keep to routines and a semblence of organization I feel better. But that’s also my downfall because when things interrupt that organization I tend to scramble. Like – that is NOT supposed to happen! And then I tend to slip down the slippery slope of “why do I bother”. It’s then that I need to get back up and continue with my routines and life to keep it going. Because, life is still happening and I do need to bother – for my kids and my self.

So, we begin. We lit the first candle on the Advent wreath tonight, prayed and pondered, and read from a book of Christmas memories by Tomie dePaola.

Enjoy this time of preparation if you keep Advent. Find time to pray,find time for quiet, and remember to take care of your own needs (physical and mental) amidst the busyness.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee O Israel!

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Advent Reading

November 26, 2016

I know, Advent starts tomorrow so this is later than I had wanted, but better late than never right? Still, any one of these books makes a good Advent read and all give ideas on how to make your celebrations more meaningful.

The first is called “Unplug the Christmas Machine” by Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli. This is all about ways to make your Christmas meaningful and to counter the materialism that ramps up this time of year. It’s an older book dating back to 1991 but I think it’s even more relevant today as more and more people try to live more simply. Each chapter tackles a subject and breaks it down. Then there are questions for you to think about and work through and questions and answers for situations that arise. In the Appendix there are “Resources For A Simple Christmas” complete with recipes and gift ideas. It’s a book that you can read this year and then put some ideas into practice next year. Christmas can be whatever you want it to be and it doesn’t have to be the same thing every year. We have all adults, young adults, and teens now so our celebration is changing. And when spouses and grandchildren arrive it will change again. The one bit of information I read some 20 plus years ago was this: Christmas isn’t an emergency. We know it comes every year and we can be prepared for it. It changed my whole way of thinking about it.

The second book is “A Season of Little Sacraments: Christmas Commotion – Advent Grace” by Susan H. Swetnam. I’ll say right up front that the author is Catholic, but it’s not overtly so. If you are something other, I think you can still find a lot of good stuff in here. I read it this month and I’l read it again as we go through Advent. It’s a book of essays on each week of Advent and the preparation for celebrating Christmas. Lots of humor and some tears, but also lots to think about through the season. It’s not a large book either – short chapters that can be read with morning coffee and then spend time i prayer after. That’s what I’ve been doing anyway. So, you may want to check this one out.

The third book is “The Season of the Nativity” by Sybil MacBeth. This is the one book I have not read yet, but I am starting on it tomorrow. It is a beautiful full-color compendium of things to do during the seasons of Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany. You can see inside it on Amazon so check it out if you need some fresh ideas this season.

The fourth book is “Nigella Christmas” by Nigella Lawson because you need at least one really good cookbook to get you through it all. I love her Christmas shows and, more importantly, I love how easy her cooking style is. Very little is complicated and even the star topped mini mince pies we make every year are quite easy – just a little time intensive. This is my go-to book every year. We are branching out a little more each year to add one or two new things to our Christmas eats. And this year since I have another kid in braces, things like butter toffee are out.

So, those are my picks this year for Advent reading, pondering, and cooking. Enjoy the season!

People look east the time is near
Of the crowning of the year
Make your house fair as you are able
Trim the hearth and set the table
People look east and sing today
Love the guest is on the way.

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The Day After Thanksgiving

November 25, 2016

As of this morning, I haven’t been out of the house since Wednesday morning. Yeah, that’s right, I’ve spent the last two and a half days at home! Wooot! We spent Wednesday cooking the rolls and stuffing. I would have got the pumpkin pies done, but the line at Starbucks drive through was long both times I went by there and I got home later than expected. So, instead of pulling an all nighter since I get dead tired by 6:30pm now, I waited until Thursday morning. Oh, and no, I didn’t do it all by myself. All of my teens helped in the cooking. In fact, there was a little quibble about who was going to make the green bean casserole. Am I a lucky mom or what?

Thursday was spent doing the normal Thanksgiving rituals. Attempt to watch the Macy’s Parade while doing a little bit of housework (dishes and laundry have to be kept up you know), and figuring out when to put the turkey in. I still don’t know how to do the big pan of dressing and green bean casserole after the turkey comes out. Both came out not very hot. Delicious, but not hot. We also had crock cheese and summer sausage on crackers as lunch and then the kids and I gathered for a long game of Apples to Apples. Very fun indeed. Then it’s a cooking frenzy until we eat. After the big meal we rest, and then around 7ish we have our pie and watch “A Christmas Story” as we have forever. It’s tradition and I love it.

Today was spent…doing nothing. Okay, not quite true. I got my butt in gear and cleaned up the house and did a bunch of laundry and dishes – it needed it and I felt really good looking at the clean-ness. The kids and their dad went to the tree farm to pick out our Christmas tree – another tradition. We had leftovers for lunch, pie and tea a few hours later, and whatever they wanted to eat for dinner. After two major days of cooking, I don’t do much the day after. I also spent a lot of time reading “The Year of Living Danishly” and cozied up on the couch in the quiet. Yeah, quiet. The tv stayed off for the majority of the day and so it was really, really nice. I felt refreshed and I didn’t feel one twinge of guilt over any of it. And kind of ironic to be all cozy while reading about the Danes and Hygge.

Tomorrow will be the usual busy – grocery shopping in the morning and bumming around town with one of my kids (more of a ritual than tradition). We also have started movie night on Saturday nights again as well so we’ll do that. Or maybe we’ll start reading “A Christmas Carol” since Sunday is the first Sunday of Advent. So, I have to get all that stuff down too – the nativity set, the advent wreath and candles. I feel more excited this year than I have in awhile. It’s a good thing.

So, that’s Thanksgiving at the Oh Crap house. I hope your Thanksgiving was just as good and let’s all remember to be grateful each day for all we have – even if it’s not much, it’s still something.

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Music Monday – The Very Thought of You

November 21, 2016

The song I’ve chosen for today is Nat King Cole’s “The Very Thought of You” from 1958, although the song goes back to Billie Holiday and 1934. I first heard it in the movie “Home For the Holidays” and I loved the song and the scene. The song is about how a person feels when they are in love – just thinking about that person makes their life so blissful. Even the music sounds like a daydream. I think most of us can relate tothose feelings whether it’s from a past relationship or a current one. So here for your listening pleasure – The Very Thought of You by Nat King Cole. Oh and go to YouTube for a real listen – it’s not to be missed.

They very thought of you and I forget to do
The little ordinary things that everyone ought to do
I’m living in a kind of daydream
I’m happy as a king
And foolish though it may seem
To me that’s everything

The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You’ll never know how slow the moments go ’til I’m near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It’s just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love

The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You’ll never know how slow the moments go ’til I’m near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It’s just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love

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Weekend Gallery

November 20, 2016

It was a busy weekend and my back is still angry at me for all the running I did, so, it’s going to be another short and sweet Weekend Gallery.

First up, we have a one pound Gummy Bear. Yeah – one pound. Not the biggest we’ve found. A candy store called Lolli and Pops has a FIVE pound Gummy Bear. Yipes!

And, here’s the 1 1/2 pound sweet potato! Yep – just check out that scale. At 98 cents a pound that one potato costs about $1.50. I think 50 cents a pound would make a better deal. On the bright side, you don’t have to buy many for that sweet potato casserole. (ETA: I wrote this post a week ago – the sweet potatoes are now down to 58 cents a pound.)

Rounding out the food category – a lovely lunch my daughter and I had at Panera. She had the broccoli soup and bread and I had a chicken ceasar and bread – both very delicious and it wasn’t too expensive.

Christmas is coming and the ponies have their hats. :-)

I wanted Maggie to hold up this bag where her face was, but she wouldn’t do it. So all I have is a picture of the bag. There was another one alluding to the fact that your crap was in the bag, but I didn’t get a picture of that one.

And heeeeere’s Elsa – and doesn’t she look evil??!! Girl, I’m not sure what she’s thinking but it probably isn’t nice. Bwahahahaha!

That wraps up this edition of Weekend Gallery. I still haven’t done any nature shots and I really should this week before the leaves are brown and gone. I guess I’ll just have to make that my goal for the week.

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Daily Bread

November 18, 2016

I have been seeing this a lot in the books and articles I’ve been reading lately. Too many times not to think Someone is trying to tell me something.

It’s about that one day at a time thing – not worrying about tomorrow where we don’t know what’s going to happen (which makes it somewhat scary) and not living in yesterday because that’s done (and no there is no time machine to go back and right it, but that’s a different post for another day). I never thought about it before, but Jesus said to ask for our DAILY bread – not tomorrow’s or the next year’s (although we can) – but today’s. One book by Kathleen Norris referenced the manna in the desert in the Old Testament. The Israelites were only to take enough to last one day and not be greedy and take more for future days. To make sure they didn’t, God made the manna with a very short shelf life as people soon found out. Hehe – nice one, God. :-) I’d never thought to equate the two before – the manna and daily bread – but it makes perfect sense.

And today, lo and behold, I turned to EWTN and saw Fr. Leo Clifford talking about the same thing – live and love only for each day. He also said something that made me pause to think – what would happen if you showed a doctor all the patients he would have to care for in his lifetime, or to a homemaker a mountain of dishes she would have to wash. How discouraged they would be! No, we need to take each day as it comes and not worry about the rest. I know right now that’s difficult to think about, but even Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow for today has enough trouble of it’s own.

So, I’m going to do this – pray only for my daily needs. I’ve never done that before – I always kind of skip over today and move right tomorrow probably missing the more immediate needs of the moment.

Maybe you’ll want to pray that way too – maybe it will keep us living more in the moment and taking less for granted and giving more each day. Maybe I’ll finally learn to enjoy each day for what it is and live it more fully. I can only hope.

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Wednesday Wisdom

November 16, 2016

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. – Teddy Roosevelt

This is one of my favorite quotes and I think there’s a lot of truth in it. Even if you don’t have a lot of money, time, friends, whatever, you can still do things – just on a different scale. I held to this one especially when we were crawling out of debt – it really helped.

You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.

I think this is true. Most of us can do anything we want to do but we can’t do it all. God knows I’ve tried! What this means for me is that I can do anything I need or want to do that is right for me. But not everything is right for me or available to me to do. I need to figure out what those things are. A few months ago I made a list of what I wanted and I what I didn’t want (at that time) and it was helpful. I was able to get things done because I knew what I wanted (and needed) to do. And that is an antidote to procrastination which I often fall prey to.

If I don’t do anything I know nothing will happen, but if I try/do something then something might.

Or something to that effect. This quote is from one of those Tinkerbell movies, but I can never find it. And I think there are variations on it anyway from others. The gist is, you have to do something for something to happen. Like I actually have to do those things I know will make me healthier. If I don’t do anything then nothing is going to happen and I can’t expect results without putting in the effort. This is a good quote to think of when you’re afraid to do something – like meeting new people, or asking for a raise. Get out of your comfort zone and see what you can do.

Right now housework is piling up, two birthdays and Thanksgiving are coming up (not to mention Advent and Christmas), and there are kid issues to attend to. It all adds up to overwhelm and doesn’t leave much time for me or to do other things I’d like to do. How to make the time for all I need to do and still make time to take care of me is the question. I came up with this plan for right now:

1. Write out all I do or need to do and prioritize.

2. Add in self-care practices and make them non-negotiable.

3. Stop putting myself on hold.

And doing it with these three quotes in mind I hope will help.

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