Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

What I Read In February

March 6, 2019

Well, that was a long day wasn’t it? :-P The end of February went out on a very cold note so I forgot about my reading list. But at the mention of my last blog post by my son, I was reminded that I needed to do my reading in February post. So, here it is.

Last month turned out to be something of a big read month, but, then again, it was cold and snowy/icy so reading is a good diversion. I also made a reading log/journal so I can keep track of what I read and my thoughts as well. I had a printable log but there was just no room to write much down. So, I found an old composition book and voila – book journal.

My first read of the month was “Maria” by Maria Von Trapp. This follows her first book, “The Story of the Trapp Family Singers” and is more her story than her family’s. I’ve read the first book so it was a joy to read this one. I actually found “Maria” in our library’s bookstore which was great because it’s out of print. But if you can find them I heartily recommend reading both books to get the full story.

I also started on “Abandonment to Divine Providence” by Jean-Pierre de Caussade. I was pleasantly surprised as to how easy of a read this is – no thoughts so lofty the average Catholic can’t get their head around them. No, just plain language as to how to live for God alone and trust Him with all your heart. A lot to unpack in this little volume!

I dug out my “Home Management Plain and Simple” book by Kim Brenneman because I really needed a home spruce up refresher. I didn’t read all of it, just what I needed to get me through the month. One of the reasons for that is a lot of it doesn’t apply to me anymore – no littles and not homeschooling anymore, but nevertheless it has good ideas. For instance, if you are having a crappy day do a re-boot. Start over by taking a shower, getting dressed, eating something and then getting started on what needs to get done now. I’ve remembered that all last month (and even today – hehe) and it’s really helped keep me going.

Believe it or not, I read a novel! I finally read “The Outsiders” by S.E. Hinton. I wanted to read it because it was written by Ms. Hinton when she was just 15 (yes, a girl wrote this), and because it takes place in Tulsa, Oklahoma which is about where I live. I have to say it was compelling and has a lot to say about cliques in school and also about the tougher sides of town. I won’t give anything away, but if you have not read it I highly recommend it. It’s not just for teens.

I also read a book for children – “In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson” by Bette Bao Lord. This is somewhat autobiographical of the author’s emigration to America in the early 1940’s. It takes a good look at what life is like for someone who goes to another country and cannot speak the language or understand the customs. I have a Chinese daughter-in-law so I wanted to try to get some understanding of her struggles. I don’t shy away from children’s books because there are a lot of good ones (even picture books) that can teach us old folks a thing or two. On a side note, Bette Lord has several books about China and life there for adults if kid books are not your thing.

I am still in the Gospels and am now finishing up Luke. I will begin John soon which is nice because Lent begins today. I am also reading Fr. Michael Gaitley’s book “You Did it To Me: A Practical Guide to Mercy in Action”. As the name implies, this is a book on how to put into action the spiritual and corporal works of mercy in your life. Because God is Mercy and if we love him we love others and extend His mercy to others. And it’s hard especially if your life has not been easy, but praticing mercy and kindness bring us closer to each other and to God. And also because I don’t want to be a bitter old lady – time for a change.

So, that’s what I read and am starting to read. Hope you are reading some good books too. :-)

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What I Read in January

February 28, 2019

(Well crap, I meant to post this on February 8 but I might have been sick at that time. It’s been a rough month folks, but better late than never right?)

So, I didn’t read just a lot last month, but I did read and finish “When Your Rope Breaks” by Stephen Brown. It ended up being a great book and helped me calm down a lot over the house mess and other stuff. It’s a Christian book so may not be for everyone, but you can always read, take what you like and skip what you don’t. We always have that option.

I started reading the Gospels – I finished Matthew right at the end of January and am reading Mark now. It’s been awhile since I’ve read them so different things are jumping out at me to give me pause.

Last week I when I went to our library, I stopped in the little bookstore there and picked up 4 books! I got “Interior Castle” by St. Teresa of Avila, “Abandonment to Divine Providence” by Jean-Pierre de Caussade, “Revelations of Divine Love” by Julian of Norwich, and “33 Days to Merciful Love” by Fr. Michael Gaitley. That last one would make a good Lenten read. I’ve already started on the Caussade book and for something written back in the 1700’s the translation reads very easily today. I’ll write more on it another time, but suffice it to say, it’s a very good spiritual help if you’re trying to get closer to God. In that vein, I know that the books by St. Teresa and Julian of Norwich are most likely going to be much deeper reads so I’ll need more time for those.

I also bought “Book Girl” by Sarah Clarkson for myself and for my book loving daughter. It’s how to read and suggestions on what to read through book lists. And it’s mostly novels which I can’t seem to be able to read but really want to. And I want to get to the classics I’ve never read. There are no newer books I’m particularly attracted to and some actually have triggers in them for me so I tend to stay away. This book looks like a good help to kick start my reading life again.

Sooo, that’s the reading report. I really wish we still had a bookstore in town so I had more choices and I could look at books. At least there’s the library. Happy Reading!

(I’ll be posting my February reading wrap-up tomorrow.)

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Hibernation Update

January 27, 2019

As my hibernating month comes to a close (during one of the coldest weeks of the season – ha!) I thought I’d let you know how it went.

First of all, I couldn’t read any self help books. Every time I started one I’d feel all agitated and uneasy, so I just decided not to read any for the month.  I think I’ve read too many and I’ve reached my limit. It’s time I made my own choices and decided what is best for me and how I’m living my life.

I’ve also kind of not bought much this month either – stuck to using my beauty stash and tossing out what didn’t work. That said, I did make a small Sephora purchase yesterday because I needed to get my birthday gift and also they had a trial size of a new Fresh moisturizer I couldn’t resist. Both of those have turned out well. I really need some new foundation but I’ll use what I have first. Then I might actually go to Ulta or Sephora and get some help with that.

Because of the house problems we had and the amount of strangers filing through my house, I decided I really needed to step up my household routines once and for all. I have decluttered a bunch of stuff and realized I need to do detailed cleaning and that I should have been doing it for awhile. Oh well – better late than never.

The one thing that stands out starkly is the fact that I need to do something with my time. Three kids are in school and one is working so I’ve got a lot more free time than I’m used to having. While I’m enjoying my down time I’m also bored. That means it’s time to do something like that DIY college plan I’ve thought about for the last 3 years. Or maybe look into actual daytime classes. Or work towards getting a job.  Doors are starting to open and while it is scary, it’s exciting too.

So, it’s been a nice bit of downtime but I’m ready to crawl out of the cave and move forward. Because you know the past is over and we’re not moving in that direction or at least we shouldn’t be. I tend to do that, but it’s time to stop. I need to accept what’s over and done with and move on. Maybe I stay stuck because I’m scared of the future, but I won’t know what lays ahead unless I go there. All I know is that time has marched on without me in some way and I’m feeling a little left behind.  It’s time for a change whether small or large.

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Stop Apologizing – Be Thankful

January 7, 2019

We’re hoping to get the house mess fixed this week. I went last week to talk to the restoration company about it and I kept apologizing that their employees were going to have to clean this crap up. I keep being told, “it’s their job”. Well yeah, but I feel bad – I mean not my doing but for you I’m so sorry. What in the ever loving what am I doing here??!!

First off – I didn’t cause the mess. Second – I called them to help and they are going to. Third – All I need to say is, “Thank you so much for helping us out in our time of need – we truly appreciate it!” And then let them do their job. End of story. And it should be a happy ending when we get all this stuff fixed. And I’ll just be thankful and stop being sorry because they are getting paid to do the work and they are happy (mostly) to do it and get us back to normal.

So – I’m going to stop apologizing when the plumber, electrician, contractor, whoever comes out to do their work and just let them know I’m thankful for any help they can give. Their jobs are important and we need these people and apologizing may make it seem like less of a job when it’s not. Even working at McDonald’s when done well is good work. So, let’s give thanks where thanks are due and move on.

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Stuck In Time

January 4, 2019

It as been 7 years since we got out of debt – 7! And yet I feel like it hasn’t been that long. Why? I think it’s because I mentally hit a reset button every time some crisis happens. As in – have a crisis, stop making progress to deal with crisis, hit reset button and start from where you left off. All of this leads to not moving forward – especially in time. Our family has suffered a lot of different crises over the last 7 years and so there has been a lot of restarting from square one. This is not how it should be, but I’m not sure how to stop either.

I read a book last summer called “Better Than Before” by Gretchen Rubin about habits and she mentioned something called “stopping”. This usually happens after what we perceive is a short lived habit and when we stop – we don’t even feel the urge to maintain what we’ve done and then we’re back at square one. This all sounded familiar and led to my thinking about crisis management in the Oh Crap home – does it apply here? It does.

I also read in another book about how being on auto pilot shortens your life in a way – just going from one thing to another without being there so to speak. Yeah, I’ve done that too and I think that is another way I feel like I have lost time or been stuck in a weird time loop that never moves forward.

So, I need to maintain normal as much as possible during a crisis because if I don’t, I’m going to feel like I’m losing time again. I don’t want that anymore.

Edited to add: I wrote this last August when the problems were starting to mount up. That last line was something I actually did last month with this latest month – I just maintained as much normal as possible through Christmas so that we’d all feel better. It didn’t mean I pretended there was no crisis, it just meant I kept our normal routines and normal celebrations through the crisis wile waiting on getting things fixed. It really helped so I’m glad that’s what I did.

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Self Help Means Helping Yourself

January 3, 2019

OK – you all know I’m the queen of buying self help books, reading self-help articles, and not really getting anywhere with that. Well, since I’m hibernating I’ve been finding that I look to others for help with my problems. Granted, sometimes we do need that – we need counseling, or medical help, or just a good friend to talk with. However, when you look outside yourself all the time then I think it’s a problem. You’re not tuned in to your own thoughts or desires or whatever. Over the last 3 days I’ve caught myself numerous times thinking, I wonder if there’s a book, article, etc. for that. I’m sure there is, but I realized that I’m always looking outside myself and never to myself. So, every time I catch myself I just say, “no, not going there”. It’s bringing me a measure of peace.

Now, there is one area where I do need help and that is setting boundaries. I’m a mom and mom boundaries can get blurred and sometimes bleed into our kids lives if we aren’t careful. I also set the wrong boundaries up for myself sometimes so that help when I need it doesn’t get through. I keep myself from it. I think this goes right along with reading too many books and not really tuning in to my own intuition if you will and asking myself “what it is I really need right now”. Now, that may sound a bit new agey, but for me it sounds right.

So I’m going to keep turning off that desire to find outside help (except when necessary) and start tuning in to me to see if I can’t solve things myself. And I know the big things that need to be done and I need to do them. That’s enough for me for now.

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Book Report

January 2, 2019

My last reading update was at the end of October so let’s see how all that worked out.

I read the book of Isaiah and finished it on December 31st. I also read “A Plan of Life” by Fr. Roger Landry in November – it was a good book with a lot of suggestions on living out your faith each day. I also read “The Inviting Life” by Laura Calder which was actually pretty good. It’s about making your home not just a place for you and your family but for others as well. A lot of how to’s on hosting events from small to largish so I found it helpful. It might be one to get down the road. As a family we read “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” – a funny but thoughtful book on the true meaning of Christmas.

I also picked up “The Life Changing Manga of Tidying Up” which is a comic version of Marie Kondo’s book on organizing. I read it in one day and it was good. I have the original book so I’ll read that next. Some of the ideas she had was to visualize your ideal lifestyle – what comes after you get your house in order. I’ve never thought about it much but I might be more successful at this keeping house stuff if I did. Sometimes I get a glimpse of it when the house is clean and all is right with the world – it’s just a feeling but it’s a good one.

For this month I started the New Testament again. I really should read Jeremiah and the other prophets I didn’t get to, but there’s time for that at the end of the year when I finish the NT. For spiritual reading I’ve got “When Your Rope Breaks” by Steve Brown. It’s an older book, published in 1988, but the topic is not old – how to cope when things go wrong. I found it at my library book sale and the timing could not be better. It’s what I need right now. If I have time I’ll read “True Radiance – Finding Grace in the Second Half of Life” – a book for Catholic women about dealing with issues as they age. With another birthday coming up it’s a good time for that one! And, of course, my magazines. Those are always fun and inspiring.

Since we are talking about books, I have culled my shelves and pulled three bags for either Goodwill or our local library for their book sale room. This is also helping me remember what I have and that I have a lot to read before I buy another book. Although I have to say, I’ve bought books that look good and meant to read them but they got shelved. However, later on, when the time was right I was able to pick up that book and find what I needed. So, you never know. But if you do know you’re never going to read a book or read it again – pass it on to someone else.

Happy reading!

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Word for the Year?

January 1, 2019

It’s that time of year again – resolutions, goals, and words for the year. Ugh. My word for last year should have been, “seriously?”. I have even thought that maybe our luck has been crappy because I never say goodbye to the old year or greet the new one at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Nah – that’s superstitious – or is it? I don’t exactly have a gratitude attitude lately. I try, but when you get bombarded with mess after mess you tend to focus only on the negative. So, should I even pick a word for the year? Maybe. I was thinking “fruitful” which means productive. Or “faithful”? Mother Teresa always said that God doesn’t call us to be successful but faithful. “Hands” by Jewel talks about worrying being wasteful and useless when things are going bad, so maybe I should focus on worrying less. Well, that’s a no brainer. :-)

So, we’ll see. For January, as I said yesterday, the word is “hibernate” – time for taking care of me and my home – and no decision making, just pondering. So, I’ll think about a word for the year, but maybe I’ll keep it to myself if I do. Sometimes, when only you know something like that, it’s more helpful than telling the whole world.

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Hibernating

December 31, 2018

Every year after Christmas I think how nice it would be to just hibernate for January (and maybe February too). The holidays can be so stressful and every December 26 or 27 when the main celebrating is over, I think, now I’m ready for Christmas. HA! What I need then is time to snuggle under a blanket and read or binge watch tv. Or sleep until spring. But people need to be fed, the housework needs to be done so how can it be possible? Well, I need to find a way to do this because once winter starts in earnest, that sadness will too.

I wrote the above back in October when I got the idea for a hibernation after the holidays and I’m sticking to it. This year was every bit as bad as last year and I need to catch my breath. I went back over my old posts and I was on a roll for a while and then we got socked with a ton of problems and now everything is a giant ball of mess again. And in some cases a literal mess. Like the house – ugh – it’s all cluttered up again in places and I’m even having problems finding stuff. That hasn’t happened in a long time folks!

So, what do I want to do? Lay around like a lump for the month of January but, as noted above, that’s not likely to happen. So, the first thing I need to do is make a list of what absolutely has to be done:
- Housework (the basics)
- Taking care of my physical health
- Taking care of my mental health
Also, just scale back on some things. Like social media. And I’ve decided that I’m not going to decide anything major in January. That’s right – a no decision month. I’ve been bombarded with decision making of the highest caliber for a long time and I just need a break. What I will do is think about the rest of the year and what is going to be best for me to do. More life changes are coming and there will be plenty of time for planning later.

The one other thing on there should be leisure time – a time to do some things I’ve been wanting to do but never get around to them. Well I’m going to just do them. One of those things is watching movies. There are some I wanted to watch this month and as a family we didn’t watch our usual Christmas movies. Kid schedules are all over the place and “family time” has gone out the window apparently. So family leisure time needs to make a comeback this month as well.

Anywho – that’s the plan for January. I have no specific way it’s going to play out – just the basics above – which will leave room for flexibility. I hope it will be enough to help me bounce back and regain some strength because I’m going to need it later in the year. So – Happy New Year and see you soon!

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What I Read in October

October 29, 2018

To start with, yes, I am still reading my Bible – that is ongoing and I plan to continue it. Over the summer I did a Psalms study which focused on only 20 of them so it was a lot easier than trying to get through all 140! I also went back and finished the Wisdom books which I had started earlier in the year. In September I read Judith, Esther, Ezra, Nehemiah, and Tobit. Then, I began the Minor Prophets – Baruch, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephania, Haggai, Zechariah, and Malachi. Before you get all amazed, know that the Minor Prophet books are mostly very short and can be read in 1-3 sittings depending on how you’re feeling.

I also adjusted my spiritual reading as well. I’m using Read Your Way to Heaven loosely but substituting books I find to be easier and more satisfying to read. They are also easier in applying the principles to your life. And it all goes along with the Bible reading as well. So, in September I read Little Sins Mean A Lot by Elizabeth Scalia. Ah – there’s a woman I can relate to! And it’s not a book to read and put away, you can keep this one on your nightstand for help when you know you’re falling into again. Then, I decided to pick up Divine Mercy For Moms as it is similar to Little Sins but goes a step further to tie into mercy and also gives ways to live out the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy for mothers. It was a good read with plenty of ideas to put into practice no matter if you’re a mom of littles or an empty nester.

For a novel, I read Frankenstein by Mary Shelley which has been on my list of books to read for quite a while. One of my daughters read it, another is reading it in her English class, so it was a good time to join in. If you’re only familiar with the movies, you’re going to be very surprised by this book. I won’t give anything away except to say, it is less about horror and more about morality, spirituality, and the dignity of the human person. And it reads very quickly which is amazing since it was written in 1818 which means the book is 200 years old this year. I blew through it in a week so don’t be afraid to try it.

I also read a very fluffy book for girls called The Mother Daughter Book Club. It was okay but the ending was so over the top, and some of the rudeness was actually condoned, so I don’t think I’ll read another one. None of my daughters goes in for this kind of stuff either and I can see why. Kind of like eating 10 chocolate bars in a row.

So, that’s what I read this month. The plan for November is to read Isiah after the Minor Prophets which should bring me up to Advent/Christmas (it’s a long book) and then read the Gospels and New Testament again which should get me to June of next year. For spiritual reading it will be me “A Plan of Life” by Fr. Roger Landry.

One more thing – if your library has an inter-library loan program, try it! I was able to borrow “The Inviting Life” by Laura Calder, which our library does not have, for only $3 for shipping and I get to have the book for a month. This is my 3rd time to borrow a book this way and I like it.

Okay, I think that wraps this longish post up. If you comment, let me know what books you read in October or your future book plans. In any case – keep reading!!

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