Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

What I’m Reading – June/July

July 30, 2019

Let’s start with what I read last month (June). I decided to re-read “The Messies Manual” by Sandra Felton. It was one of the first books I picked up on trying to conquer the mess in my home as a young wife with little kids. However, at that time, her suggestions just seemed out of my reach. She was talking about having a system, but her system felt difficult. I know I read at least two of her books trying to grasp the concepts, but it all escaped me in the busyness of my life. Perfectionism probably got me on that one. So, I revisited it last month and I understand it now, of course, having put systems in place to keep up with the day-to-day housekeeping.

The next book I read was “The Clutter Connection” by Cassandra Aarssen. This book tells you what kind of an organizer you are and in finding this out you can arrange your house to suit your organizing style. I am a cricket with a few ladybug tendencies. Mostly I like stuff in cupboards, closets, and drawers with a few things left out so I’ll remember to use them. I am also a perfectionist about cleaning and organizing (and all kinds of other stuff). I’ll admit I didn’t read all of the book, but I did read enough to get the idea of my style.

I also read “Please Don’t Eat the Daisies” by Jean Kerr. I have seen bits and pieces of the movie with Doris Day and David Niven and decided I should read the book. The book is nothing like the movie! It is more bits and pieces of memoir, and the movie only used a few of those pieces to weave a story around. Having said that, I did enjoy the book – very funny! The best chapter was the one on detective shows or something like that. So, so good!

Moving on to July, I haven’t really read much. And if I read more than I’m writing about, well, I forgot to write it down. One book I did browse was “1,000 Books To Read Before You Die: A Life Changing List” by James Mustich. This one was a fun one to flip through and I did read a few of my favorite entries. At the end of each entry are end notes with extra info on the book, but also other books you might like in the same vein. I have several books with lists, but this one, although large, was also colorful and interesting and not just a list. If you are a book lover you should check this one out.

For the next few months, I have decided to read some books to help me with depression that is trying to make a comeback.
1. “How Can I Make A Difference When I Can’t Find My Keys” by Marilyn Paul.
2. “What Alice Forgot” by Liane Moriarty
3. “Full Catastrophe Living” by Jon Kabat-Zinn
4. “Codependent No More” by Melodie Beattie
They kind of focus on a theme – stressed out living – and I figured this was a good time to finally address my own issues with stress. I’ve just started reading the Marilyn Paul book and I think it’s going to be a huge help. It goes beyond just getting your house in order – it also helps to get you in order as well. One of the questions she asks is what is disorganization costing you. The thought came to me about my weight though and I can turn that question to “what is being overweight costing you”. I’m going to be making a lot of notes and journaling with this one! Also, I read Melodie Beattie’s book years ago and it helped me realize the problems I had. This copy is the latest version so it will be good to update.

And now for spiritual reading. I am up to 1 Peter in the New Testament and continuing Part 3 of the Catechism as well as the book We Live by Oskar Lukefahr. I am also reading “A Concise History of the Catholic Church” by Thomas Bokenkotter. I have long wanted to learn about church history and decided now was the time. I’ve had this book on my shelf for years so it was time to dust it off. I have decided to read the Psalms after the New Testament because I haven’t done that yet and it will dovetail nicely with Year 5 of “Read Your Way to Heaven” and Part 4 of the Catechism which is prayer.

So, there you have it – my two month reading update. I am looking forward to my planned reading and it will keep me from buying books or taking books out of the library that I won’t actually read. :-P It’s time for an action plan.

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End of June Update

July 23, 2019

It is now the end of July but what the heck – I might as well start catching up on my writing. I have several already written posts and it’s time to release them into the wild. :-)

What the hell?? June is almost over already? Geeez! It seems like it just started, but when the storms (think tornadoes and flooding rain) keep on coming, you feel like you’ve missed half the month. That said, this week has been gorgeous so we are soaking up the hot rays of the sun and not minding at all. We’ll see how I feel about that at the end of July. :-P

So, how has this month been? To start with, I had a use what you have kind of month for some things. Part of that is because we really spent out on stuff last month and the other reason is I wanted to get my credit card down to a zero balance again. I’m trying out Stitch Fix (more on that later) and I need to have some room for purchases.

In skincare and makeup, I’ve just been using what I have. However, realizing the skincare I have wasn’t working, I went ahead and bought a new cleanser and moisturizer both by L’oreal. I did not buy the Fresh stuff in my Sephora cart but I think in time that I will. I still need new foundation though so am looking into options there. I want something that’s light and easy to remove and two of the ones I really like and that really work are also really difficult to get off. :-(

We had another appliance emergency – our old water heater gave up the ghost by overheating and spewing water in the laundry room. We now have a new water heater and hope it lasts a little longer than the last one – nothing lasts as long as it used to though.

I’ve given up on planners temporarily and am just using a spiral notebook. I list everything I need to do that day and check it off as it all gets done. The one thing I need is a weekly board to put on the fridge or something though. I’ve got a huge monthly wall calendar so the month is covered, just need the week at a glance covered.

I’m getting back on the vitamin train and bought B vitamins (I’m on stress overload) and a calcium/magnesium one too. Together they are really helping and I’m feeling better. The next thing I need to do is have a full menu plan where I know daily what I’m eating at each meal – I’ve got to get that back on track. At least my Food Mover is ready for me whenever I’m ready.

So, I think that’s it. A post on what I read this month is coming up as well as two posts on the sad state of my wardrobe and how I’m trying to remedy that. Hoping your summer is going well and I’ll be back soon!

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Looking Back

June 4, 2019

When I started reading the book “thirtysomething at thirty” by Scott Ryan and had just finished a lot of reading, I closed the book and thought, “I wish I could do it all over again”. And right then a couple of tears fell down my face knowing that it can never be – I’ll never get those days back. Watching thirtysomething gives me a kind of way to re-live those early days of marriage and motherhood and I’m glad of that. It was a much simpler time in my life (although at the time I probably didn’t think so). I was in my own world doing the best I could as a stay at home mom with three little boys, and when I look back on those years – they were pretty good.

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Weight Loss Goals vs Other Goals

June 3, 2019

This thought keeps coming up with me – if I can (fill in the blank) then shouldn’t I be able to lose weight? One of my counselors even brought it up. So I’m here to talk about my other goals and reaching them and find the lesson in there.

Let’s go simple – Animal Crossing. Yeah, the Nintendo game. I’ve played almost every version since it came out and I love it. Right now I’m playing AC New Leaf (I got it almost 6 years ago) and have every bug, fish, fossil, and art piece giving me a complete museum. I’ve played all the island tours and have got gold medals on all of them. I set a goal to get all the gyroids and made that goal. I’m now working on clothing items and after that finish getting all the furniture. How do I do it? I set little goals for myself and then work on only those until I reach them and then move on to the next goal. Takes some time, but each goal I reach makes me happy and brings me closer to the ultimate goal – finishing the game.

OK this next goal is a little different – housekeeping. I decided to get my house in shape back in 2002 (I think it was before the twins came along) and found Flylady. That was back in the days when it was simpler than it is now but I digress. Every time I went to the bathroom I cleaned a drawer out, organized it, and wiped it out. I took each room one drawer or one surface at a time and in a few months things looked much better and I was proud of my efforts. Here it’s not just a small goal, but one small action at a time. A little bit of work for a bigger payoff later.

Back in 2009 I decided to get out of debt and had a goal of mid 2011 to reach that status. I came up with a plan (debt snowball), backed it up with all the collection agencies (which was a hell unto itself), and reached that goal. It was something that I knew I had to do and there was no other way around it. So in that case it was a kind of emergency. Sure I could have taken a lot longer to get it done, but I didn’t want to do that – I wanted out of debt soon so I could enjoy life again. It was hard – really hard – but the payoff has been wonderful. Losing weight can be an emergency if it threatens your health in which case you really have to do it. You have to make specific changes to get results. Right now my health is not great and I know my weight plays into that. That said, one thing I have been doing is drinking more water – a crucial habit. The payoff? I feel better, sleep better, and have lost a few pounds. So, this route could be helpful for kicking bad habits to the curb.

So there you have it – three different goal settings and how I reached those goals. What have I learned?
- Set small goals and when you reach that goal set another one.
- Do a little each day – every little bit adds up to reach your goal
- Declare an “emergency” and what the most pressing issue is and get that done.
OK – well I guess it’s time to set some goals then! I’ll take a day or so to think on that and get back with you. Or maybe I’ll keep it to myself like my son did. I had no idea anything was going on until he started posting pictures of himself running in races. The results were amazing! I want results and if I want them bad enough I can do it! I know it.

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What I Read In May

June 2, 2019

It’s time to recap my reading from last month. It wasn’t much, but here goes.

I read a novel! Yes – can you believe it? I read “The Elegance of the Hedgehog” by Muriel Barbery. Okay, I didn’t read ALL of it, just most of it. It’s got two story lines going – one written by the main character and one written by a 13 year old girl. I only read the story line of the main character because she is the one I identified with. She is a concierge at an apartment building and she is 56. I did read the last entry of the girl but only because it was the ending of the book and tied up loose ends. All that said, I really enjoyed it. A very quick read, insightful, funny, sad. It was good. I would say more but it would kind of give the theme away so I won’t. But if you’re like me and feel you’re a little less than – you may like this too.

I’ve already mentioned I read “Kitchen Yarns” by Ann Hood so I’ll add a little more here. It is a memoir of Ann Hood’s life up to now (just published this year) and the food around her life. It’s a quick read – I blew through it in 3 days – but it gives food for thought as well as recipes. You may need a kleenex from time to time though – like most memoirs it is happy and sad. I that. I could relate to a lot what she said because we grew up in the same eras – 60s, 70’s, and 80’s – so that was fun to relive. The one recipe I know I am going to try? Swedish Meatballs! Yeah, like the IKEA kind. I am needing new recipes and this looks like something everyone in the family would like.

OK – spiritual reading. I finished the Gospels, Acts, Romans, and 1 Corinthians. I am now in 2 Corinthians and will probably finish the New Testament by the end of summer. I picked up Fr. Oscar Lukefahrs “We Live: To Know, Love, and Serve God” which is really based on Part 3 of the Catholic Catechism. So, I’m reading a chapter of that and then reading the corresponding chapters in the Catechism. And amazingly, it all works with the New Testament as well – a perfect round of spiritual reading. So, that will continue until the end of summer and then we’ll see after that. I may jump to Year 5 in “Read Your Way to Heaven” which is prayer. Or I may continue with the theme of Life in Christ until Advent with my own reading selections. We’ll see.

Looking ahead, I’m reading “The Messies Manual” by Sandra Felton. Along with “Sidetracked Home Executives” I read this one when I was a young mom in an attempt to get hold of my housekeeping skills. It just didn’t make sense though and I fell into the trap of needing all the right tools instead of actually cleaning and making routines. At least I finally got that right.

So, that’s my reading for last month. Not a lot, but what I did read was good. We’ll see how I do this month – I have books upon books I’d like to read and maybe it’s time to make a list for summer reading and work on that. It’s a thought. Happy Reading!

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May Update

June 1, 2019

May as in the month not as in weeeel, I might update. And I might not. :-P

So it was a wild month from start to almost finish and I’m glad it’s over. Mostly I wish I could go somewhere to stare at water for an undetermined amount of time. I’d have to be back before August though because that’s when the new school year starts for my two youngest daughters. So, here’s what’s been going on.

Family – My oldest daughter graduated from high school last Friday and the Kleenex truck has been parked in my driveway all month. It is another transition for me as much as it is for her. I bought a couple of books on how to deal with the grief of the empty nest so I’d better start reading those as my twins will graduate in 3 years. My oldest son came out from CA to visit as well – much fun was had by all.

The Weather – OMG – my town has had over 20″ of rain just for this month alone. The flooding here has been unbelievable and will be ongoing even after the rain stops (if it ever does – we may need an ark soon). And let’s not even discuss all the severe weather we’ve had – it’s been a long time since we had weather like this and I guess our number was just up. I am looking forward to a dryer summer.

My Clothes – OK – I’ve not posted all the things I’ve wanted to say about my quest for a new wardrobe, but I will say here that I’ve been trying Stitch Fix the last few months and the jury is out. I’m not really sure it’s for women over 50 at all and may very well not be for overweight women over 50 as I am. That said, out of 4 boxes (20 pieces of clothes), I’ve kept 4 clothing items and a purse. That’s it. They are really good pieces, but I was hoping to get a little further down the line on this wardrobe thing. I changed stylists again so I’m hoping this one “gets me”. Update to follow.

My Beauty – The ongoing saga of a woman and aging facial skin that can’t make up its mind. I now know that it’s dryer in the winter and gets wetter (not so much oily) in the summer due to the humid weather. After my Fresh products ran out I decided to start using my backlog of stuff but nothing really great. So, I’ve got a Sephora order with only Fresh products poised to check out as I speak. We’ll see if I pull the trigger on that. What I need to do is get to an actual Sephora for a skin care consultation. And once the weather improves (and our car a/c gets fixed) that should be on the table again.

My Sanity – I read something recently that makes me think I’m suffering from chronic stress. Rarely do I have times anymore (and certainly not in the last 30 days) that I feel relaxed. I don’t even know if I know what it feels like. It’s just not something I do well. It seems that I’m always on the go and my mind is always in fight or flight mode depending on what is going on. I just don’t feel I’m getting anywhere. I’m trying to keep moving forward, but right now I want to come to a full stop for about a week (or more) to assess the damage as it were. I wrote a list of all my stressors and it’s no wonder I feel like I’m stuck. I need to figure out how to deal with those things and maybe then I will be able to move forward. And relax.

My Fitness – At least there’s a positive side here. My oldest son gave me an Apple Watch for Mother’s Day and we are both synced up on it for fitness accountability. Now wasn’t that sweet? He’s had an incredible weight loss journey so it’s time to make mine. So far so good! Most days I climb 12 flights of stairs (that’s due to housework), and I walk and stand plenty. The only thing I don’t have is dedicated workout time so I’ll be making room for that. Also – due to all the water I’ve been drinking – I’ve lost 2 more pounds! This is a long time in coming and I believe I am finally ready for it. I have my reasons for wanting to lose weight and they are all good ones.

What I’m Reading – It was a dry month for reading and I’ll make this a separate post. However, I will say that I read Ann Hood’s “Kitchen Yarns” this week. It’s a memoir with recipes and I love those kinds of books. Ann is not much older than me as well, so I relate to a lot of her memories (hello 80’s!). More on this later.

And that’s a wrap. It’s been such a crazy month and I’m ready for some real summer downtime in June. I would also like to start decluttering the homeschool bookshelf as well since most of the books are for younger grades and the fact that I am not homeschooling anymore.

I hope your May has been better and, if not, let’s drink a toast to sunnier days ahead in June. Peace be with you.

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Weight Loss Goals

May 9, 2019

I decided I’m going to work on my goal of losing weight. Each year it’s “I want to lose weight” and then I never go any further with how I do that. Or I write a long litany of dos and don’ts. This time I’ll just keep it simple. So my goal is:

Lose 50 lbs by the end of the year.

The next step was make a small plan on how to achieve that. Here’s what I came up with:

Eat whole foods

Drink water

Exercise

Less sugar and junk/processed foods

Yep – just those four things. Those are the basis of a basic way to eat and live and I can do those things. Should I get more specific than that? I could but I’m not going to – it’s when I get really super specific that I tend to lose sight of the main goal and get too into the nitty gritty when just focusing on the basics is enough.

And as far as the number of pounds I want to lose I do have a smaller number in mind – 33 – the number of weeks left in the year. That translates into a pound a week. Am I going to be crushed if I don’t make that? NO – even if all I lose is 15 or 20 pounds I know I’m going in the right direction and to keep up with what I’m doing. It cannot be an all or nothing thing or I’ll never get anywhere. I heard an interview with someone recently who achieved their dream job and he said that if you don’t keep taking steps toward the goal you want, you’ll never get there. Wise words indeed.

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Age Appropriate

May 6, 2019

I’ve been on a mission for awhile for clothing (mostly because I really don’t have any) so when I am out and about I take note of women my age who are dressed well so I can see what I might be able to do. I saw two women over the last month that rocked my perception (again) of age appropriateness for the woman over 50.

One Saturday I saw a tall woman who was rockin’black leather leggings, high heels, and a chunky sweater. Her hair was in an edgy short cut and her makeup done well. I was in total awe of her! That’s confidence people!

Later the next week, I was at a restaurant and saw a woman in skinny jeans, cute sandals (about an inch high), and a beautiful blue top that was elbow length and covered enough below the waist. Gorgeous! That is the look I’m currently wearing so it was validation that I’m doing something right. I bought my first pair of skinny jeans about a month ago and it changed my mind on skinny jeans. My daughters agreed that the reasons I like them are the reasons they like them. Who knew?

I feel that I am getting back on track with how I want to dress, look, and feel. Although it’s harder to find good clothes when you are a woman of a certain age and a plus size, I think I can do this. I just have to keep trying. Rome wasn’t built in a day and style isn’t rebuilt in a short period of time either.

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Music Sunday

May 5, 2019

I thought I’d share one of my very favorite hymns – “I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say”. Every time I’ve heard it has been the exact time I’ve needed it. This song has brought me to tears a time or two in church as well when life was difficult.

The song was written by Horatius Bonar (1808-1889) who was a minister in the Church of Scotland. He was one of eleven children and also one in a long line of ministers in his family. He and his wife had their share of grief with five of their children dying, but later on those five came back by way of their five grandchildren of their daughter. I expect that this song may have been written during that time of grieving and I’m sure it gave a measure of solace.

So, here it is and give a listen to it if you have a chance. Enjoy and have a great day!

I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say

I heard the voice of Jesus say
“Come unto me and rest
Lay down, thou weary one, lay down
Thy head upon my breast”
I came to Jesus as I was
Weary and worn and sad
I found in Him a resting place
And He has made me glad

I heard the voice of Jesus say,
“Behold, I freely give
The living water: thirsty one,
Stoop down, and drink, and live.”
I came to Jesus, and I drank
Of that life-giving stream;
My thirst was quenched, my soul revived,
And now I live in Him.

I heard the voice of Jesus say,
“I am this dark world’s Light;
Look unto Me, thy morn shall rise,
And all thy day be bright.”
I looked to Jesus, and I found
In Him my Star, my Sun;
And in that Light of life I’ll walk
Till travelling days are done.

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May Beauty Report

May 3, 2019

Let’s start off with May 2018 blog post that never got posted :-P:

I thought I’d update, again, because I got my Sephora order today!! They had a little travel kit of Fresh products and so I thought I’d start from square one with the other mini’s of theirs I have and see if they still work. If they do, I think it’s going to be time to invest.

Here’s what I got:

A mini Umbrian Clay mask. This is going to go well with my Sugar Face Polish and Rose Face Mask. In fact, a good routine is to use the clay mask first and then sooth with the rose mask. I think that may be what my skin needs. It definitely needs exfoliation which I ignore because my skin is so sensitive.

And here’s the cute travel set:

A mini Soy Cleanser, Rose Toner, and Rose Deep Hydration cream. Now, when I got my other kit back in February, my skin cleared up after using these babies! I didn’t always feel I had to wear makeup. So, I’m hoping for same results.

The one thing I did realize I needed now that the weather is warmer and sunnier is sunscreen. A couple of weeks ago my face was just so red. I had finished my tube of It CC Cream and was using L’Oreal True Blend which has minimal sunscreen and I usually use just a thin later (although I probably could and should use a little more). It really wasn’t doing any good. So starting last week I added back in a layer of sunscreen and guess what? Redness went away. Having rosacea you’d think I wouldn’t not use an SPF, but…you know. I’ve also upped my water intake and I think that is helping too. So, I have to use a sunscreen. Period.

I’ll be using these items as long as they last and see how it goes. If my skin reacts as favorably as I think they will, it’s going to be time to get the full size. Expensive? Yes. Worth it for clearer skin? Yes!

OK so it’s one year later and I’m not using Fresh at the moment although they did work well. I’m thinking about going back since Sephora is having a sale. However, I’m almost burned out on beauty (if you can believe it) – I have a lot of stuff (mostly trial sizes) that I need to use or lose.

I’m thinking about La Roche Posay Hydrating Cleanser – it’s highly rated and only $14 for a big bottle. It foams a little but it’s creamy so I don’t think it would be as drying as the clear foaming cleansers I’ve been using. I like the Fresh Soy Cleanser, but it doesn’t cut all the makeup. Which brings me to something I’ve been thinking about for awhile:

What if I went without makeup this summer?

I could use the Fresh products and a sunscreen and see how that worked for me.

I’ve been drinking a lot of water lately and that has been helping. I’m incorporating more fruits and vegetables in my diet as well and that will help too. So, I’m starting to get back on the clear path again instead of veering off into the dark forest and stumbling around.

Looking back at this post though – yeah, the Fresh products are very good. And the minis do last a long time because they are concentrated. So – maybe it’s time for that challenge. Get back on the Fresh mini train while they are on sale and see if going without makeup helps. At my age I’m putting less and less on as it is so it’s not going to be a huge stretch. It’s something to think about.

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