Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Resolutions – Bah Humbug

December 29, 2023

It’s the end of the year and we all know what that means for stores – selling the “new you”. Get organized, lose weight, get your house in order, and on and on. The lose weight and get organized seem to be the top ones and it’s all in the name of the almighty dollar and not on actually helping anyone. Just buy our stuff and your problems will be over. As if.

I used to make resolutions and make promises to myself to do this, that, and the other. Then something would come along and shake it up and I’d give up. I still haven’t found the resolve to actually make changes because I feel it’s useless if I’m just going to start something and have upheaval that sends it all crashing down. Yeah – that’s me being honest right there.

However, I also know that if I don’t do anything that NOTHING will happen. That’s also the truth of the matter and I shouldn’t complain about gaining weight when I haven’t done a damn thing to do anything about it. Things like making small changes can work but sometimes we (as in me) gets stuck on those small baby steps and they never get any bigger.

One thing did work once and that was getting out of debt – I debt snowballed four credit cards and within 18 months was out. I had absolute resolve because I NEVER wanted to go through any of that crap again. I was tired of living in scarcity and uncertainty and my family was too so I did the really hard thing and got out of debt. Did I ever want to give up? Yes! I was six months away from the last bill being paid off and I almost caved but I knew if I did I’d never get where I wanted to be. THIS is the resolve I need to find to lose weight, to get organized, and so on. I just need to find where the stumbling block is and remove it and find that strength I had in 2011 to get going.

So while that new healthy eating planner I bought will help me see where I need to make changes to my diet and eating habits (although I actually do know what ones I need to make), I have to tell myself I am worth making those changes and that it will make a difference in the long run. And then I have to actually make those changes and (here’s the clincher) stick with them.

So, Happy New Year to all and to ALL a (finally) good year. Please God.

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Year’s End Thoughts

December 27, 2023

It’s Christmastime and the end of another year. I always feel reflective at this time of the year and I have tried to look ahead to the new year in the past, but in 2017 that really kind of stopped. On January 4 of 2017 I felt like things might actually get better and then, on that day, my husband had a bike accident and broke his collarbone. Then he lost his job of 36 years in August of that same year. And let’s not forget year after year of idiot house problems. And then a pandemic and worse. It’s getting harder to even want to make plans to do anything in the new year except survive. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that way. However, we can’t sit still or “be idle with despair” as Jewel puts it in her beautiful song “Hands”. We still need to do our jobs, take care of our families, and take care of our communities. When you think about it those really are the basics aren’t they?

For me, negativity, frustration, and anger are at an all time high. Is it a product of the depression or just too many things on my plate? Or just year after year of crap piled up? I don’t know, but I do know it needs to change. I can’t keep that up because it’s bad for me mentally and physically. I could say “I’ll be more positive” but I don’t believe that’s really the answer. And it’s too vague. What I need to do is reframe my negative words and actions and just plain act better. Besides, I kind of believe that all of our negative words and actions are going out into the world/the universe and perhaps causing all the mayhem we see. It surely can’t be good. Maybe if even just a few of us try to stem that tide of ugliness we can make a difference in our corners of the world. Let someone go ahead of you in the grocery store if they only have 2 items and you have 20. Put your spare change in the Salvation Army kettle or round up your total for charity at the store. Instead of cursing those who cut you off while you are driving, say a prayer for them (and maybe one for yourself too). You get the idea. Little things really do mean a lot and often lead to bigger acts of kindness and charity.

So, as 2023 winds up, let’s at least try to look forward to 2024 and make plans to help rather than hinder, love rather than hate, try to understand rather than persecute those who are different from us. We are all human beings, we live on the same planet, and we must get along. Let’s begin in 2024 to change our bad habits and do good instead.

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Living Up to this Blog’s Name – Unperfect

December 22, 2023

Well and the Oh Crap part too because…

Oh Crap – It’s almost Christmas and I’ve been depressed for at least a month if not more.

Oh Crap – We’ve all been down with colds here for about 10 days so some stuff hasn’t gotten done which means that…

Oh Crap – …my west coast kids won’t get their gifts until after Christmas (le sigh)

Oh Crap – I forgot to add milk to my grocery pick up today which means going to another store right after the pick up.

On the other hand, all the other gifts are in and they just need wrapping. We have one more goodie to make and that’s getting done today by one of my elves (i.e. kids). We didn’t bake a lot but I do have plenty of bought to fill it all out with.

After today I shouldn’t need to set foot in any stores until after Christmas. All the food for our Christmas Eve and Day celebrations has been bought. Phew.

So it’s not all bad and I just need to slow down and breathe and get done what I can and say “Oh well” to what doesn’t because in the end it’s all going to shake out fine. Even in the years we barely had two nickels to rub together the kids were happy with whatever we had. And there were a couple of years that the older kids chipped in to make the season bright for their family.

So if you are the homemaker or the main person who does it all in your family don’t forget to take care of yourself because YOU are a part of the family you take care of. And it says in the Secret Mommy Handbook – you cannot get sick (I loved that commercial and laughed every damn time). And if you don’t take care of yourself you will get sick. Ask me how I know. :P

Okay, have to run, but seriously, take your time today, take time for you, and don’t get caught up in the hustle and bustle – know that whatever you have done will be fine and that the over marketing and mass consumerism are missing the whole point of this holiday. And offer up your frustrations for broken families who are having worse problems than not getting their gifts out on time – it’s not joy to the world for everyone.

Oh and welcome Winter Solstice as of yesterday. The only good thing about that is the days will be getting longer again. :D

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Depression…Again….Naturally :(

December 17, 2023

So, yeah, around Thanksgiving I realized that I was having a depression episode. How did I figure that out? Part of it was my last post about making small lists to get things done each day. The other part was having a breakdown the day before Thanksgiving and realizing that something was not right with me. After the whirlwind that is Thanksgiving and two birthdays, me and the couch decided to get really close. Too close. That’s when I knew it was worse than it’s been in awhile.

Then one day I was starting to get stuff done and I realized how much I’d let go because I’d been on the couch or in bed too much. And that’s when recovery began because I knew stuff had to get done and my depression would get worse if I wasn’t taking care of things. And i started to feel better.

And here it is the week before Christmas and I’m starting to slide again, but getting ready to do battle in the kitchen. Luckily dinner is a chop all the stuff and throw it in the oven for an hour or so. Tomorrow things will get busy again and I’m going to need to get all the help I can. My kids are good at that though and it will be okay.

The one thing I hate about depression is how it’s there but you don’t know it’s there until you figure it out (or maybe someone else points it out), Anxiety and worry are easier because something usually brings it on right away, but not depression. He’s a sneaky bastard. The sooner you can recognize his presence though, the sooner you can start back on the road to recovery. Am I doing all the things? No. Am I doing enough to keep things going? Yes. That’s all I need right now…today. Getting back to basics so I can live life.

Hope you are doing all right but if you aren’t, give yourself grace and take it slow and easy. There will be better days with more energy and less sadness. Peace be with you.

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» 2023 » December » Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Resolutions – Bah Humbug

December 29, 2023

Year’s End Thoughts

December 27, 2023

Living Up to this Blog’s Name – Unperfect

December 22, 2023

Depression…Again….Naturally :(

December 17, 2023

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