Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Filling Up

December 30, 2019

Christmas is over, the presents opened, the visitors gone. What is left is empty. I realized this on Saturday when I was home alone and picking at all the treats and other foods that are still around. As I was filling my mouth I realized that what I was really doing was trying to fill up the holes in my life. Fill what is empty or lacking.

Today, I was looking at Amazon and Sephora trying to decide on things that I would like to have partly because I want them, partly because it is something to do to fill the lonely part of me.

I need to name the holes in my life – what is missing – so that I can stop trying to fill up with things that weren’t meant to do that. To find a way to satisfy the longings that I have.

This is a long ongoing thing with me. One day I was angry at my husband and started stuffing my face with a chocolate bar. Aha! The lightbulb went off and for the most part I haven’t done that since. Well, not much anyway,

So, I’m glad that on Saturday I had another aha moment so I can start working on this part of me. There’s a little girl inside that didn’t get her needs met, a teen that was bullied, and a young woman who desperately wanted someone to love her. These all need to be addressed so that I can start becoming a whole person who doesn’t try to fill with food or things because it simply won’t work.

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» Filling Up » Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Filling Up

December 30, 2019

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