Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Goodbye 2019

December 31, 2019

And don’t come back. :-/

So, another year has come and gone very quickly. Maybe that’s a good thing considering the last three years have been stressful in various ways good and bad. I’m sort of looking forward to the new year, but with a lot of caution and guarded optimism. Next month will be my hibernate month. My quiet month. It needs to happen.

I am going to quiet down my speech and try to quiet my mind too. I’m going to be careful about my social media perusing as well. I am going to consume less sugar and caffeine and replace those with water and a B stress vitamin. The one I was supposed to have been taking months ago. I am going to shop less and just be out in nature a little more.

I am going to get back to a housecleaning routine as well. I’ve added several little habits over the last year and that’s one positive at least. And these habits weren’t anything I planned to do – I just started doing them and they stuck. Go figure.

So, let’s raise our glasses and join our voices in singing that song of old:

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
for auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
We’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

Happy New Year everyone! Wishing you all love and peace and joy in the new year. <3

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Filling Up

December 30, 2019

Christmas is over, the presents opened, the visitors gone. What is left is empty. I realized this on Saturday when I was home alone and picking at all the treats and other foods that are still around. As I was filling my mouth I realized that what I was really doing was trying to fill up the holes in my life. Fill what is empty or lacking.

Today, I was looking at Amazon and Sephora trying to decide on things that I would like to have partly because I want them, partly because it is something to do to fill the lonely part of me.

I need to name the holes in my life – what is missing – so that I can stop trying to fill up with things that weren’t meant to do that. To find a way to satisfy the longings that I have.

This is a long ongoing thing with me. One day I was angry at my husband and started stuffing my face with a chocolate bar. Aha! The lightbulb went off and for the most part I haven’t done that since. Well, not much anyway,

So, I’m glad that on Saturday I had another aha moment so I can start working on this part of me. There’s a little girl inside that didn’t get her needs met, a teen that was bullied, and a young woman who desperately wanted someone to love her. These all need to be addressed so that I can start becoming a whole person who doesn’t try to fill with food or things because it simply won’t work.

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Beauty Update – Makeup

December 28, 2019

Ok, so last post I talked about my skincare routine. Today, it’s all about the makeup. Let’s get started.

I talked about this product in my last post, but it’s the last step in skincare and first in makeup as it acts like a primer. It’s my Cotz Face Moisture Lightly Tinted Sunscreen.

Next, I’m using the Cover Girl TruBlend Liquid Foundation in L1. I don’t love this foundation because it’s super sheer. But, when I use it in conjunction with the sunscreen it works. After this is empty (and it’s getting close) I’m either going to test drive a few I’ve been looking at or splurge on the Dior Backstage Foundation which I really liked from the sample I received.

For eyeshadow I’ve been really loving my Ulta powder eye shadow single in Pin-Up Girl. It’s very natural looking and a one stop deal in the morning, I bought the Lorac Matte Palette, but not loving it. I may get back to the Smashbox Photo Op trio in Nude Pic Fair – a great mini palette of neutrals.

Of course you know about my mascara love – Cover Girl Professional with the straight brush in Brown/Black. I need a new one so will be buying that soon.

On to brows – I currently have two things I’m using. The first is IT Cosmetics Brow Power which is a neutral shade that works on everyone. It’s very easy to use and not expensive. I think I’ve mentioned it before, but you can buy the mini for only $12 so it’s not a huge investment. I also bought a mini of Benefit’s Gimme Brow in Light so I’m testing that out. Not sure yet how I feel about it.

For lips I’ve got a couple of different things going. The first is Bite Beauty’s Agave Lip Mask in Candy Cane (from last year’s Christmas tin) and their Agave Balm. I use those on days I want to just go natural. I also bought a lipstick holiday set from Becca and I’m really enjoying that. The colors can be sheer or dark and I like wearing the bolder colors.

And that’s it – it’s a pretty simple routine. Some days I’ll wear my Tarte Sugar Rush Cream Blush in Ocean Girl. This is an easy product to use and gives just a hint of color. Well, that’s how I use it anyway. Another blush I like is Benefit’s Dandelion – a really light pink. I have rosacea so I have to choose blushes wisely and both of these are easy on the skin.

It’s been nice to have a set of basics to use for the last several months – makes getting ready in the morning a no brainer and I like how I look. And that’s really what I want/need right now – simple.

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Beauty Update – Skincare

December 27, 2019

I thought it was time to give a mention to what I’m doing for skincare and makeup as I think it’s been awhile. Mostly, I’ve been using the same products for around two or three months. Here’s what I’ve been using.

I went ahead and purchased the big tube of Fresh’s Soy Facial Cleanser and the Son and Park Beauty water back in July. The beauty water was finally available after months of being MIA on the Sephora website, so I figured it was a good time to get everything. I have been using the cleanser daily since then and I still have enough left for another month or so. The beauty water is also still chugging along, although I did have a couple weeks when I used something else. I only use it for a toner so that big bottle is lasting.

For moisturizing I used Fresh’s Rose Deep Hydration Cream during the day and the Lotus Youth Preserve Dream Night Cream at night. I bought the minis near the end of August and they lasted two months and I replenished again and at the beginning of December I tossed them (they were almost gone anyway) because they didn’t seem to be moisturizing enough now that colder weather is in. They worked great earlier though and I do like them. After that I started using the Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cream and it’s okay. I don’t feel it’s super moisturizing but it’s fragrance free and works with everything else so I’m going to use it until the end of December when I’ll get something else. I have the L’Oreal Collagen Cream but oh boy it’s got a lot of fragrance in it. So, I’ll have to keep looking for a heavier cream for the winter.

I purchased the Cotz Face Moisture Lightly Tinted Sunscreen in July or August and I’m getting down to the end of the tube – I still have enough for the rest of December at least. Again, another product that you don’t need a lot of so that tube’s going to last. I use it every morning after moisturizing and this sunscreen also has the feel of a primer which I like. I’ve not really jumped on the primer bandwagon yet but this is one I could use all the time for sun protection and a primer. It’s an all mineral sunscreen so my skin doesn’t react.

For exfoliation I tried the Fresh Strawberry Exfoliating Wash (got the mini) and it’s not bad. It’s like a more liquid version of their brown sugar scrub that’s in a jar. It smells really good, but I’m not really sure it’s making a difference. As a physical exfoliant is gentler but still grainy. Sensitive skins will want to sample first. I also found this cool brush at TJ Maxx for exfoliation and I like it. I’ve only used it once (need to road test a little more), but it’s super soft and nonirritating. It feels really good on the skin. So, I think I’ll add that in more often and see how it works out.

And that’s it on the skincare. I’ll post on the makeup next since this post got a little long.

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Hibernation

December 10, 2019

I’m saying this now – I plan to hibernate in January and possibly February. I’m going to be quiet. Less social media (I was going to say none but I do want to keep up with my kids), very little talking (as if), and even (GASP) less music. Less filler and more intentional doing of things I really want to do. Quiet. It needs to happen.

The last several years have been one train wreck after another on top of just trying to cope with everyday life amidst huge life changes. I’m toast. And very overweight and eating crap every day and wondering why nothing changes when there is change all around me but not within me.

So, it’s time to hibernate. What that is going to look like I don’t know but I think I’ll just start January with quiet. There has been way too much noise in my life and it’s drowning out the more important voices I need to hear. Like my own thoughts and my own voice. We recently had a kerfluffle with the shower again, and I took the day after to just be quiet and do housework and catch up on stuff that was needing my attention. It was bliss. I felt renewed and the next day was able to call and get help. I need more days like that.

One of the things that has been coming to me over and over for the last four months is not talking or talking much less. I don’t talk to many people as it is, but when I do I tend to over do it. Sometimes I talk when listening is really what is needed. Since this keeps coming back to me I am going to see how quiet I can be as well.

I wish I could just hibernate from life for awhile but that’s not possible – I have two teens and two young adults still at home. I have the work of keeping a home as well. Those two things have to happen. The youtube, facebook, instagram does not. They are escapes and I need to start getting my life back to something I want to take part in again.

The other thing I really need to do is the body basics – Sleep, Nutrition, Exercise, Water. You know, like in this book (which is a book for the overwhelmed mom than for kids). Without them I won’t be able to cope with everything else and so I have to do it.

Only 22 days left this year and they are some of the busiest days of all, but after that (and I’m keeping my fingers crossed it’s actually going to happen this time), I’m going to get quiet. I need to. For my sake and those around me.

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