Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

End of May Report

May 31, 2018

YAY – May is over!!! Here’s how it went:

Financial Emergency – Check!

Dead oven – Check!

Water heater goes out – Check!

Air conditioner fan stops – Check!

Kid has two meltdowns in 3 days – Check!

Three extra days to the school year – Check!

I feel like I’m missing something else, but you know all the above was enough to keep me stressed out as it is.

All that said – this last weekend I decided to take it easy. I still did basic things like grocery shop, make meals, and laundry, but I also read books, played some crosswords online, and generally enjoyed myself. I even wrote myself a note not to get distracted from my goal of relaxing thinking I had to do other “more important” stuff. That stuff could wait. My sanity cannot.

So, goodbye May – don’t let the door hit you on the way out! And welcome June – please be kinder to me than May was.

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What self-care is…and isn’t

May 15, 2018

The book I ordered arrived today. It’s called “From Coping to Thriving: How to turn self-care into a way of life” by Hannah Braime. I’ve already read the first four chapters and there is so much to think about already! A lot of the book is how to implement self-care strategies but also questions to ask yourself to get to the root of why you don’t take care of you.

Right out of the gate she says what self-care is and what it isn’t. Here’s her definition:

“At its essence, its very core, self-care is about identifying and meeting your needs.”

And, here’s the rub, what we think is self care is really, for most of us, just a band-aid masking deeper issues. What we generally think of when we hear self-care is: coffee at Starbucks, a big bar of chocolate, a day at the spa. Now, there’s nothing wrong with these she says, but again, if you’re already spent, none of those things are going to get to the core issues you’re facing. You need to get your needs met first.

I read that statement and, yeah, the bells went off. Very true for me. I know people, though, who have always taken care of themselves. So when they go to the spa, or on a trip, or to have a treat, they truly enjoy it because their needs are taken care of. When I do those things, I feel like they should be filling me – filling the hollow parts – and they simply cannot do that. Some of the things I need, emotionally, I don’t know how they are going to get met. But I’ll start with the physical needs: food, water, exercise, personal development. Then maybe the other things will follow.

So, I think this book will be helpful and I need to give myself time to get back on track. Ignoring my needs for so long means a longer time in healing.

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Deal-A-Meal Poster Tutorial

May 11, 2018

Okay, so this is the day we make this poster. A reader asked about this poster, and in particular the cards you “deal”, so I thought it was time to revisit. The original post goes all the way back to 2011 and, sad to say, I do not have the poster or cards anymore. However, it is really easy to make and so we’ll just have a little craft project today. I will link to info where applicable.

First here’s all the materials you’ll need:

Poster board – I originally used the really large size, but the smaller size would work equally well.

Construction paper or colored card stock (in the picture it’s origami paper because that’s all I have right now)

Blank Journaling Cards from Project Life (in the second pic above) – you could also use white index cards

Markers and/or pens

Tape or photo tape – I used packing tape so the pockets would stay on well and hold up to use.

Now, let’s put it all together.

Cut the construction paper into the pockets that will hold the cards. Here’s the colors, their corresponding nutritional elements, and the calorie count per serving each card will represent. All of which I wrote on each pocket:

Red – Protein – 75 calories

Brown – Starch – 80 calories

Blue – Dairy – 90 calories

Green – Vegetables – 25 calories

Pink – Fruits – 60 calories

Yellow – Fat – 45

Here’s where I deviated from the original – I did not use the joker or freebie card. I did make a pocket for water cards to track water intake and the last pocket is the one that will hold all the cards used during the day. So, 8 pockets in all.

After cutting the pockets so that the cards will fit in them (you will need to measure cards and pockets to make sure everything fits), affix them however you wish to the poster board. Like I said, I used packing tape, but use whatever you have.

Now, for the cards. It’s easy, but time consuming. On the first card, which I kept in the pocket, is a list of various foods and the serving size for the calorie amount per card. On the other cards, the ones I’ll actually use, I only color the top and bottom. I also only wrote down what I knew I’d be eating. I don’t eat quinoa or chia seeds so you will not find those on the cards, but I do eat wheat and white bread so I put those down. I know the original Deal-A-Meal was based on food exchanges so I’m sure there is a lot of info online related to that.

I used different sources for the food list:

https://www.choosemyplate.gov/MyPlate

My Richard Simmons Food Mover (yeah, I have one of those too) info booklets

First Place 4 Health materials

Here are the semi-finished cards. Yours will look different and you can put as much or as little info on the card that you like.

The last thing is how many cards will you use in a day? Well, that depends on how many calories you eat per day. Here’s where to find that information on the Deal-A-Meal page (it is simply too much to write out here):
http://members.tripod.com/sue_in_nj/rich.htm.

I will break down what a 1600 calorie a day meal plan would look like (this is my level by the way) in cards that you would deal at the beginning of the day:

Starch – 6 cards

Protein – 6 cards

Vegetable – 6 cards

Fruit – 4 cards

Fat – 3 cards

Dairy – 2 cards

So that’s how many cards you need in each of the pockets for a 1600 calorie per day meal plan.

Here’s how it goes – every time you eat a serving of food you move the appropriate card(s) over to the used cards pocket and the remaining cards are what you have left to eat for the day. When the cards are used up, you are done eating for the day. I love this idea because it gives me the appropriate amount of food and nutrients my body needs every day to be healthy. I need to get back into this because I know that lately I’ve not been getting what I need in the food department. :-(

Anywho – I hope that helps to explain how I made the poster and how the system works. You can click on any of the pictures for a closer look too if that helps. Good luck to you all! And thank you Richard Simmons for all the help and love you have given us over the years.

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A Kind Of Slow Monday

May 7, 2018

This last weekend was a doozy! Well, I think it started last week really – stuff not really going well (i.e. breaking) and me on edge. So, I decided to have a slow Monday. Okay, not so slow. I’ve done kitchen clean up, laundry, paid a couple bills, and figured out tonight’s dinner – normal stuff. But, I’ve also had coffee and read one of my Real Simple magazines that I recently got online (I’m collecting the older issues). Now, time for some writing on the blog and possibly a nap before I go pick my daughter up from school.

I ordered a book on self-care last night because, frankly, I just can’t keep going on the way I have. It’s called “From Coping to Thriving” by Hannah Braime and it looks very good. Goes over just about everything on self-care to get you started and how to keep the momentum. It’s supposed to be here Wednesday and I can’t wait to read it. Like therapy only cheaper. The main thing is – I have to DO something. I can read all the books I want, make pages of habit trackers, but unless I put it all into practice, nothing will happen. That’s a given. It also goes back to that do one thing post, I had awhile ago as well. The one thing I need to do right now is take care of me.

In that vein I decided to climb off the social media merry go round for awhile. I unsubscribed to a lot of stuff and my life is quieter without all that background noise.

Speaking of blog posts, I am planning to do one this week on the Deal-A-Meal poster that I made in 2011. A reader wants to know about the cards so that’s going to be the highlight of said post. So stay tuned for that.

Okay, off to relax some more on this beautiful day. Hope your day is good too.

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Get Off the Bus

May 3, 2018

So, I had this dream last night about being on a bus. Actually, my kids and husband were supposed to be with me too but I never really saw them – just knew they were there. It was a nice bus, and we were travelling along nicely until we got to the bus station. This is where the bus was to be serviced and then we’d get back on. The number of the bus was something like 8B and I needed to remember it to find the bus back. However, the bus station was huge and confusing and busy and I got lost. But, then, the bus driver showed me the inside of the station and there was a lot of food – good food – that reminded me of the Ferry Building in San Francisco. I really wanted to stay but needed to get back on the bus so I didn’t miss it. When I did finally find the bus and it left the station I realized my family wasn’t there. I looked behind me in the seats we originally had and they were empty. I was sitting with a frazzled mom with 4 little kids and when I asked if I could get back out of the seat she was not happy.

Now, I looked all of this up because sometimes I feel my psyche is trying to tell me something. I had a lot of pregnancy dreams over the last 15 years, but now they have changed to travelling dreams. Buses, boats, trains – all going somewhere. I think it’s got a lot to do with my life changes of being in transition from full time mom to all my kids being in school and what am I going to do now? All the bus stuff has to do with feeling stuck, waiting for something to happen, Riding the bus means I’m going along with the crowd, and being a mom you kind of do. You’re in the mom crowd, but that’s not the crowd I’m in now with 4 adult kids and 4 teens. The bus driver means going around in circles – seems to fit the rest of the bus stuff. To dream of getting on the wrong bus means you don’t trust your own judgment. “You are conflicted between what you want and what others want for you”. Yeah – that sounds about right.

Right now I am looking forward to having all my daughters in school and carving out some time for me. I realized last night that the one piece of my life that is missing (and has been missing for a long time) is personal development. I have never felt I could do anything for myself that I really enjoyed either out of guilt or just not finding those things I would like to do. This is something I’m really going to start doing because it is way past time to do it.

There have been women in the past who developed themselves and they had large families too. They loved school and even went to college. They became writers or seamstresses or whatever. They didn’t hold themselves back or let others hold them back. This is something I’ve done and it’s time to stop. All my kids can take care of themselves – they are in process of developing their own talents which I’ve always encouraged. Me? No, no encouragment there. I have no one to do that for me either so it just dropped off the radar. Until last night.

So, this dream seems to be an extension of that and it’s time to wake up and pay attention. Scary? Yes. Needful – a thousand times yes!

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