Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Weekend Gallery

August 28, 2016

I really should call this week’s gallery the Stupid Marketing Edition, but that seems to be every week anymore. Every season and holiday has to have special food, clothes, etc. and it’s just ridiculous! I long for the day when it will stop, but until that time, I’ll have quite a supply of blog fodder. Let’s take a look shall we?

Let’s start off with the newest flavor of Cheerios – Pumpkin Spice. As if we needed another new flavor of ANYTHING! Secretly I wonder how they are, but the realist in me balks because it’s senseless.

And, in other new flavor news – cookie flavored coffee creamer. There’s not much real about this stuff anyway so why add useless cookie flavors?? I’d just make the damn cookies from scratch and have my coffee with half and half. At least you know all the ingredients in those!

These should not need an explanation. Although, the marshmallow thing reveals the ending of the original movie and so if you haven’t seen that movie, the ending won’t be nearly as fun and surprising. Major spoilers everywhere thanks to marketing.

And these. O.M.G. – I am sooooo sick of the emoji craze! For a while everything was mustaches (still don’t understand that fad) and now it’s emoji’s. So, I’m asking, since we have 5,000 emoticons to use when we text, or Skype, or email – do we really need snack cakes with them??

This one at least makes some sense – there’s a lot of kids with nut allergies so someone came up with this idea of a peanut butter alternative made from soy. But then, if you don’t want any soy in your diet you’re screwed again. Just have a turkey sandwich!

I only took a picture of this for two reasons: 1) It’s a coffee maker! and 2) it’s the MOZART coffee maker. ‘Nuff said.

And lastly we have the head wisk. Yep a head wisk. Apparently it’s a scalp massager and it’s a thing – you can find them in all sorts of shapes and sizes (including wisk-like ones) at Amazon. Still, the picture of how it’s used just made me laugh. I’ll stick with brushing my hair 50 strokes every night with a brush as in the old days.

And that’s all for today. As the holiday seasons start in earnest, I know there will be lots more of this type of stuff so look for more snarky and silly Weekend Gallery in the weeks to come.

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Music Monday – The Boxer

August 15, 2016

I’ve decided on a 70’s song for today’s offering – The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel. Although it tells the story of a boxer from his arrival in a big city as a young boy to his career as a fighter and beyond, there are things mentioned that are similar for most of us. I found this very excellent article on the song, meanings, and how Paul Simon wrote it. I like information like that because it rounds out the song for me. As I’ve mentioned before it’s not just the tune, it’s really the words that draw me into a song. I have included the extra stanza that is usually only performed live, but I wish it was in the original song because it really completes it. With all that said, let’s go on to the song with my notes.

I am just a poor boy
Though my story’s seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocketful of mumbles
Such are promises
All lies and jest
Still, a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest

When someone tells their life story they know so much more than when they started out. Humbled (or hardened) by life, they can understand now what they couldn’t at a younger age. I am at that point in my life now – beginning to see things a little clearer now. So much truth in those last two lines too. What’s that thing about hindsight? Ugh.

When I left my home and my family
I was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers
In the quiet of a railway station
Running scared
Laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters
Where the ragged people go
Looking for the places only they would know

Lie-la-lie . . .

I like to think this song takes place in the early 20th century when boys did often leave home quite young for many reasons. This boy probably ran away from home, and he knows where to look for help – with the people he is acquainted with due to his station in life. The poor and ragged ones. I understand some of that. The times when we have had very little money, it was so much easier to go to stores where most of the people were poorer too. There is a camaraderie there and I feel like I have friends in those places – friends that don’t give a crap how you dress or how much money you have but know the struggle you are in.

Asking only workman’s wages
I come looking for a job
But I get no offers
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
I do declare there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there
Lie-la-lie . . .

This is the way it was for many immigrants in the early 20th century, and of course for most men in 1930’s during the depression – looking for a job but finding nothing. For a man, it is a heavy burden not to have a job to bring in money for your family or just for yourself to live on. Almost a disgrace. Harper Lee described the depression in these words: “There was no hurry, for there was nowhere to go, nothing to buy and no money to buy it with”. Some people might think it terrible that this man engaged with prostitutes, but don’t judge, unless you walk in that man’s shoes you don’t know how crushing loneliness like that can be. This man was looking for companionship where he had none and found it in the only place he knew to go.

Now the years are rolling by me
They are rocking evenly
I am older than I once was
And younger than I’ll be
But that’s not unusual
No, it isn’t strange
After changes upon changes
We are more or less the same
After changes we are
More or less the same

Lie la lie…

Okay, here is the stanza that’s left out of the recorded song and I think it was a mistake. This is the part that connects all of us to this song. And now that I’m in my 50’s it has much more meaning. Although for me the years aren’t rocking evenly, but the narrator is probably talking about after retirement and he’s looking back and accepting the aging process. I am beginning to accept my getting older, but I have been looking back a lot lately to earlier days trying to hold on to what’s been and wondering if maybe it’s time to let go of some of it. I especially like the line “that’s not unusual” speaking of getting older. In other words aging is a normal process. We ALL get older and all that goes with it – that’s the way life is.

Then I’m laying out my winter clothes
And wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the New York City winters aren’t bleeding me
Leading me
To go home

Here we have circled back to earlier days and probably the boxer is fighting in cheap fights because he has to make a living. He wishes he could go home, but he probably knows that it’s impossible now. While I don’t live in a northern state, I do know of some winters here that were brutal and I get the gist of those lines. And again, it’s about life when it isn’t going well – wishing we could go somewhere else but realizing we must stay because this is our home now and we must still live our lives the best we can.

In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of every glove that laid him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
“I am leaving, I am leaving”
But the fighter still remains
Lie-la-lie . . .

When I hear these lines I see the boxer – the man – standing in the ring with his hands raised to his face trying to protect himself in a fight. He is angry and hurt inside and out. Sometimes he wants to leave but he won’t – fighting is “his trade”. It’s become part of him and he’s in it for better or worse. Some of us also stand broken and bruised by life and wanting to quit sometimes, but we know we’ll stay for the long haul. We know there will be better days so we keep on going.

I want to mention the actual music here – simple like the boxer, reminiscent of the 20’s or 30’s. This is what makes a song great – the music ties in with the lyrics in a very powerful way so we get the full meaning of the song and it engages with us on a very personal level. A lot of Simon and Garfunkel’s songs are like that – powerful words with simple but evocative music.

So that is today’s Music Monday. Please take a moment to listen to the song – it is worth the time. And sing along if you already know it well.

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Book Report

August 5, 2016

Well, apparently I have read a lot of books already this year – 25 to be exact and working on a few more. Geez! I don’t know quite how I’ve done it, but glad I have! I suspect it has something to do with the reading glasses I bought earlier this year.

I decided to track my reading this year because I’m not sure how much reading I’m doing for me outside of what we do for homeschool. What a surprise eh? So, I thought you might like to know what I’ve read and am currently in process of reading. It’s in chronological order with a few notes. (Note: No links – I think you’re all old enough to look them up on your own if you so desire :-D)

What I’ve Read:

1. The Life Giving Home by Sally Clarkson

2. Freedom to Love by Fr. Emmerich Vogt

3. Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton

4. The Sharper Your Knife the Less You Cry by Kathleen Flynn

5. The Kitchen Counter Cooking School by Kathleen Flynn (I really think these two books are what propelled me forward to reading this year – I read both in about 2 weeks time)

6. Spark Joy by Marie Kondo (Okay, didn’t read it all, but enough to take away the gist of her program)

7. The Hours by Michael Cunningham (First novel I’ve read in quite a while – I also watched the movie)

8. Large Family Logistics by Kim Brenneman (Had to do an interlibrary loan – it was also a physically large book)

9. School As A Journey by Torin Finser (I had wanted to read this for YEARS and wish I had read it when I first saw it)

10. The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris (I actually annotated this one – so much to think about!)

11. Wifey by Judy Blume (Found it used, hadn’t read it in 20 years at least – forgot how raunchy it is – heh)

12. Ladder of Years by Anne Tyler

13. Whatever Happened to Molly Murphy’s House of Fine Repute by Jaffie Tayar

14. Who Are You Supposed To Be by Darren Stone (Another reminisce of Molly Murphy’s)

15. How to Really Love Your Adult Child by Bob Schultz

16. How to Be Lovely: The Audrey Hepburn Way of Life by Melissa Helstern

17. Happiness is a Warm Puppy by Charles Schultz (a beautiful reprint in all it’s original glory!)

18. Yes, God! by Susie Lloyd

19. Lace by Shirley Conran (A blast from 30 years ago reprinted! However I did not remember it being 750 pages!)

20. Mercy In the City by Kerry Weber

21. Humans of New York by Brandon Stanton

22. Humans of New York Stories by Brandon Stanton

23. Little Humans by Brandon Stanton

24. Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder

25. Little House on the Prairies by Laura Ingalls Wilder

What I’m In Process of Reading:

1. French Kids Eat Everything by Karen Le Billon (For parents, but I could actually use these ideas for me)

2. Invitation to Solitude by Ruth Haley Barton (this I’ve put off for awhile – it’s a DEEP read/practice)

3. The Quotidian Mysteries by Kathleen Norris

4. I Hate to Housekeep Book by Peg Bracken

Maybe at the end of the year I’ll return to give the full list of my reading for the year. As it is, I feel quite satisfied but I also don’t want to think about it too much and let my interests lead me where they will. Otherwise, perfectionist me will get caught up in what I should read next and I won’t read anything.

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Living in a big city

August 4, 2016

(I thought of a much better title for this post, but, because I’m old, my brain purges everything the minute I think of it.)

If I started a bucket list, this might just be the first item I put on it – to live in a big city again. Either that or live in a small city where there is plenty to do and places are accessible without getting in a car.

See, I live in a small town (some people call it a city, but I don’t – it’s not a city by any stretch). A small town where all the mom and pop grocery stores folded when the big boys moved in. There had been a little grocery store right down the street from where we live which our neighbors tell us was great. They could easily get what they needed by walking and, when the kids were older, they could go to the store for mom. Now? We have to get in a car to get to any grocery store – most people here do. A few are lucky enough to live within walking distance of a store, but we aren’t. We also live close to two of the busiest roads in town which mean you almost get killed just trying to cross those streets because everyone thinks they’re driving on the Autobahn. And in a terrible twist of fate, our one and only bookstore is getting axed because the chain went out of business. That means the closest bookstore is 60 miles away. Swell.

I’ve been reading the Humans of New York books (and also a recent post on Dinner A Love Story – long, but worth the read) and just yearn for all those wonderful places to eat, museums, parks, interesting stores. Sure, big cities aren’t ideal for everyone, I realize that, but for me it just sounds idyllic.

I lived in London for 5 1/2 years of my very young teen life. I didn’t realize how great it was then (maybe a little) because I took a lot of it for granted. Until I moved back here. That’s when I realized what a great thing I had lost. In London, all the food stores were a short walking distance away from our flat. My mother took her trolly-on-wheels and went shopping most every day. There was a bakery, a produce store, a butcher shop, a fish store, and even an old timey candy store (my favorite besides the bookstore of course). Fresh food all the time! She rarely went to the two little supermarkets because she knew she could do better by going to all the other places. They probably knew their customers by heart as well. I think she was terribly lucky.

There was also a lot to do within walking distance and plenty you could get to by public transportation. You didn’t need a car! The parks, theaters, restaurants, the yummy smelling coffee roasters. Oh, and the walking tours we took in school – those were awesome! So much history to learn about and a lot of it right in your own neighborhood! It wasn’t a perfect time, but looking back on it, it was pretty sweet.

So, all this to say, I might actually start a bucket list and put “I want to live in a big(ger) city” on it. Dream on!

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Another Circle – Another Season

August 3, 2016

Four years ago I wrote two posts – one was a send off to my third son who was off to college. The following post was about the song The Circle Game by Joni Mitchell. Well, four more years have come and gone and that son who went to college? He is now about to embark on the next journey of his life – 1500 miles away to a new job and a new life. But that’s not all! My fourth son who just turned 20 yesterday is moving out today – luckily only across town – but still…it’s moving out. He is also ready to go out to meet the world apart from the family. It happens. My mama heart is really hurting though. Even more transitions are coming this year and I’m not sure my heart won’t break.

While I haven’t put together a big send-off post for Steve (yet), I want to go back to The Circle Game and post those words again. When Chris moved out, Steve was in his 16th season so this song was so appropriate in so many ways. I cried a lot of tears then too. You’d think I’d be better at this letting go thing, but when you are a mother, it doesn’t get any easier, it’s just a hurt you have that you can’t really explain except to another mom.

The Circle Game

Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like when you’re older must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels thru the town
And they tell him take your time it won’t be long now
Till you drag your feet to slow the circles down

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There’ll be new dreams maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

-Words and Music by Joni Mitchell

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