Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

What’s Holding You Back

October 3, 2015

Yesterday was a 10 hour marathon of What Not To Wear on TLC! I haven’t seen any episodes in a very long time so I got snacks and just vegetated with my daughters in front of the tv. It was bliss! They showed one of my favorite old episodes – Ed – and I laughed so much. Haven’t done that in awhile either. I wish I had taken notes though because there were so many things Stacy and Clinton said that I wanted to remember so I could apply them to my own life. The biggest take away – what is holding you back.

I thought about that because I know one thing for sure that is holding me back – my weight. Okay, how could I change that? I need to lose weight. What changes could I make that would help me lose weight? The biggest thing I need to start with is water and vitamins. Water because I just don’t get enough and vitamins because my diet (as in the way I’m eating) sucks. The other thing is movement and I read a blurb that said if you work at a desk you should move 2 minutes every hour. Hey, I could do that march in place thing 2 minutes every hour. Kaizen! Yeah, I could do those things.

What else is holding me back? My attitude. Right now I’m stuck in an endless angry loop. Acceptance is the last stage of grief and it seems like I’m doing everything to not get there. Acceptance to me means a loss of self, loss of my dreams, to accept where I am and I just can’t do that. The other reason is I don’t get angry in the right ways or when I need to or at the right people. I tend to gloss things over or stuff the feelings. So, what can I do to stop the cycle? I found a workbook on anger with questions and exercises to help manage anger and angry feelings. Also forgiveness and mercy are lacking as well. It’s hard to admit but every day lately is a grouchfest. It would be easier if some of the other people around me got their crap together, but I can only take care of my crap.

The number one thing that holds me back is fear. I don’t even know what I’m afraid of sometimes. Like the weight loss – is it fear of failure (again)? Fear of what I might look like when the weight is gone? Fear of doing all that stuff and nothing changing anyway (like what was the point of all that)? I haven’t figured that out yet. I was very scared when we did the get out of debt thing and whenever the phone rang I jumped a mile. But I faced the fear and got through it and we are better for it. Why can’t I do the same thing with my weight? Why can’t I do the same thing in trying to make friends?

There are some great quotes that I have found and I’m going to put one here and then maybe write some on post-it’s and put them around the house as reminders. Something has to change because you know what the definition of insanity is: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

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» What’s Holding You Back » Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

What’s Holding You Back

October 3, 2015

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