Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Too much self-help help?

October 6, 2015

Life used to be so simple before we all started reading about how to live it. – Ben Wyld

I have a lot of self-help books ranging from how to clean your house to how to clean your soul. I have ones I will never give up like my codependency books by Melody Beattie. I have some that I bought with high hopes and they are going to new homes via Goodwill – most of them never read. I always have very high expectations from books (and myself), but maybe that’s the wrong place to look for help? I took “The Last Self Help Book You’ll Ever Need” by Paul Pearsall out of the library last weekend. I don’t think I’ll finish reading it because I don’t agree with a lot of it, however, it did give me food for thought.

I’ve often wondered what would happen if I chucked all my self-help books (except for the ones that have actually helped) and just lived my life the way that is right for me. Seems like I’ve done that before and it was fine. I read this article and found this:

As convener and lecturer of the course Worrying Ourselves to Death, (Dr. Susan) Hardy says the self-help industry and the media promote a view that people can’t lead their lives without expert advice.

Huh, that’s something to think about. And what about this:

(Farrah) Correy says, however, that the sheer bulk of information can make it difficult for people to identify their true needs and feelings, causing them to look for answers in the outer world rather than contemplate their inner voice.

And here’s the crux:

But the appeal of relying on outside sources of advice is that it acts as a protection device for when people fail. “If something doesn’t work they can blame the book and not themselves,” she says. “No one wants to admit they’re wrong.”

Books are great, but they can only guide – it’s really up to us to do the work. Not to mention what works for one doesn’t mean it works for all.

I’m kind of tired of self-help books right now and especially tired of buzzwords like “margin” – that one is really overused these days. But, I’ve also become complacent and comfortable and need to push myself a little further again. But, this time, without the extra “voices” telling me what to do because I can look around my own life and listen to my own voice telling me what I need to know and what I need to do. Any more than that and I can always go to therapy. :-)

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» Too much self-help help? » Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Too much self-help help?

October 6, 2015

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