Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Music Monday

August 10, 2015

Okay, folks, it’s time to have a good cry. C’mon get out those boxes of kleenex – you’re going to need them.

Today’s song is “Like A River” by Carly Simon. She wrote it as a tribute to her mom who died from cancer in 1994. It is so sweet and I cannot help but cry every damn time I hear it. It is the most loving tribute I’ve ever heard and the video is even better as there are pictures of her mom in it.

Dear mother the struggle is over now
And your house is up for sale
We divided your railway watches
Among the four of us
I fought over the pearls
With the other girls
But it was all a metaphor
For what is wrong with us
As the room is emptying out
Your face so young comes into view
And on the back porch is a well-worn step
And a pool of light that you can walk into

Everyone who has been through the death of a mother or father knows how these things go. Dividing up the stuff, selling the house, etc. Everyone is leaving except Carly and she is talking to her mother one last time. And it’s like her mother is at the house too – going through it one last time.

I’ll wait no more for you like a daughter,
That part of our life together is over
But I will wait for you, forever
Like a river…

The first time I heard those words I cried like a baby. While my mom is still living, my father is not. I have also experienced the deaths of other people close to me and it’s just so hard sometimes letting go of what had been. Not to mention regrets of what might have been.

Can you clear up the mystery of the Sphinx?
Do you know any more about God?
Are you dancing with Benjamin Franklin
On the face of the moon?
Have you reconciled with Dad?
Does the rain still make you sad?
Last night I swear I could feel you
Moving through my room
I thought you touched my feet
I so wanted it to be true
And In my theater there is a stage
And a footlight you can always step into...

Here Carly is asking her mom – what is it like where you are? Do you know any more now than you did down here? And the tenderness of the act of her mother touching her feet and wanting so much to feel that one more time. It’s amazing what we take for granted while we are here and not until it’s gone do we realize how much it meant to us.

I’ll wait no more for you like a daughter,
That part of our life together is over
But I will wait for you, forever
Like a river…

Still crying…

In the river I know I will find the key
And your voice will rise like spray
In the moment of knowing
The tide will wash away my doubt
‘Cause you’re already home
Making it nice for when I come
Like the way I find my bed turned down
Coming in from a late night out.
Please keep reminding me
Of what in my soul I know is true
Come in my boat, there is a seat beside me
And two or three stars that we can gaze into

In the video Carly Simon is walking by a little brook in some New England state in the fall (please God, I’d like to live there some day). Her mother’s voice will call to her letting her know that all is well and that maybe, yes, there is heaven too. A comfort for her. But that line, “Because you’re already there making it nice for when I come”, has a double meaning for me. Her mother is waiting for her in heaven and making a welcome for her when she arrives and they are reunited – just like she used to do when the children were growing up. But, as a Christian, I also think of what Jesus said: In my house there are many rooms. God is making my room ready for me when my time here is through and He is waiting for me.

I’ll wait no more for you like a daughter,
That part of our life together is over
But I will wait for you forever
Like a river…

Blowing nose loudly….

Okay, sniff, I’m okay. Really. Here’s the link for the video – do take a look. With Kleenex. I sometimes think of my own death and hope that I’ll be remembered as lovingly. I know not all memories will be great, but I hope in time my kids can forgive my weaknesses and remember the good stuff.

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» Music Monday » Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Music Monday

August 10, 2015

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