Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

An Oh Crap Afternoon

December 17, 2012

It has been awhile since I’ve blogged about an oh crap moment or two hasn’t it? Well, today, dear readers, I get to regale you with my moments of utter stupidity. Basically, this kind of stuff makes me feel as if I’m going crazy. On the other hand, maybe I already AM crazy! Who knows. Anyway, this is what happened.

First, I went to make my menu plan and wanted Christmas music to write by. I couldn’t find the cd case with all the Christmas cd’s in it. So, I went to get my keys thinking it might be in the car. Looked in my purse and guess what? No keys either. UGH. That’s when I started getting a little sweaty. I asked all the kids and they had no clue as to either, so, again I looked in my purse and guess what? Keys were in the very bottom. I went to the car to see if the cd case was in there and guess what again? Yep – cd case.

Okay, now for the piece de resistance. I am making Turkey Jumble for dinner and it requires boxed potato mix (yeah I feel like cheating tonight). I dump out the potatoes in the pan and set aside the seasoning mix. Then, I take the overflowing trash out to the can while the turkey cooks. I get back inside and put the seasoning in the potatoes and that is when it hits me folks – the boxes are out in the trash and I don’t know the amounts to make these things. Oh crap. So I start looking for the directions and can’t find any (because I put in the wrong topic – I finally found them). So, I am winging it and while it will be edible, it’s just another crazy moment for me today.

So, there you have it – my totally brain dead oh crap moment. You can stop laughing now.

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The TV That Was Brought By Elves

December 12, 2012

So I’ve been Christmas shopping and it just about wiped me out this weekend hence the blog break. Like you’d notice after hardly blogging at all for the last 3 to 5 months right? Oh well, I’m certainly living up to my blog title – totally UNperfect. Well, let’s get back on track then and go down memory lane for Christmas 2010.

We were still in the grip of debt, but slowly seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, thankfully. After almost giving up in November, and talking myself out of it, we forged on. It was a brighter Christmas with the exception of everyone getting sick. That had started at Thanksgiving when Katie ate too much, but then on Christmas Eve Steve got sick and we all went down like dominoes. UGH. Something I never want to repeat again. Even with all that, my 3 big elves decided to play Santa again.

Apparently the idea to get us a new tv had started a few months earlier. Ours was certainly getting old and the volume wasn’t working so well anymore. I also think the boys decided we needed to be brought into the 21st century and the land of flat screen tv’s. I won’t disagree on that one – they are much better than those clunky old ones we had. At least we didn’t have a console tv – that would have been a lot harder to move out. Matt was a little worried that I was going to get a tv for Christmas though and when he asked I laughed my butt off. We were still paying off bills and it wouldn’t be until the next year when we could even think about it. So, I guess he let out a sigh of relief and moved forward with The Plan.

The boys bought the new tv (and a new tv stand to go with it) about two weeks before Christmas. When they got home it was quite late and they still had to stash their haul into the garage unknown to the rest of the family. Apparently they parked in front of the neighbor’s house and then snuck the goods into our house via the back way. And no one heard? Nope – not even Mike who was watching his usual nightly tv and he didn’t hear a thing. Maybe he had headphones on.

On Christmas Eve Phase II was in effect. Around 1 or 2 am (after Santa had arrived) the elves gathered to pull off their surprise. Chris had to be woken up and then Matt and Jeff felt Chris was talking way too loud. Surely they’d wake everyone up! Guess what? I never heard a thing! They took the old tv out to the garage, the old tv stand outside, and boxed up all the other various electronic stuff. Now they were ready to assemble the new tv stand – the majority of it was done in the dining room. When out in the living room there arose such a clatter, Maggie sprang from her bed to see what was the matter. Luckily Jeff shooed her away and kept a lookout thereafter.

Once the stand was in place in the living room, the tv was enshrined in its place of honor. Matt put a Nemo screensaver and big red bow on the tv while Jeff – aka Santa Claus – wrote a letter to the family to attach to the tv. At last the mission was complete and the boys were able to finally go to sleep. For three hours. Maybe.

On Christmas morning, the little kids had gone down ahead of me so they were the first to see what Santa had brought. When I arrived, I didn’t see the tv at first, but then the littles were all hollering at me about Santa bringing a new tv. I was like “Wha??” and turned around. Sure enough there was a beautiful new 42″ flat screen tv and stand from my three elves.

We have enjoyed that tv plenty over the last 2 years. The biggest difference is how HUGE it is – it’s like being at the movies every day. So, there you have it – another memorable Hackmann Family Christmas.

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Christmas Revenge

December 7, 2012

Yesterday we had a nice heartwarming story about how my kids saved Christmas. Today will be different – very different :-).

Let’s begin with this fact – I LOVE Corvettes! I’ve loved them since I was a teenager (eons ago) and love them still today. My favorite? The 1977 Corvette – it is a beauty indeed. I used to count them on family car trips and a few years ago I remembered that and started counting them again. This was not received well by my kids – especially Chris. Every time I squealed, “Ohhh, look – a Corvette!” or counted them Count style, “2 – 2 shiny Corvettes – hahahahaha!”, he just rolled his eyes and groaned. So I guess I didn’t realize how much of a burning hatred he had for them until that infamous Christmas when I received a special gift.

On Christmas Eve (2005 or 2006) I was upstairs when I heard a really odd grinding noise. It would start and stop and start and stop. After having a water heater die on us at the old house, I was worried about something similar happening so soon after moving into our new place. So, I asked Jeff what that noise was. He listened and then said, “Oh, I think that’s Chris. He’s working on something.” Well, okay – I didn’t give it another thought. In a few minutes Chris emerged from the kitchen (after having been working in the garage) with a crazed look on his face! The boys and I started laughing and I’m sure Chris said something, but I don’t remember what it was – I just remember the crazed look. No further weird noises were heard from the garage that evening. His mission was complete.

Christmas morning arrived and so did the present opening. It was my turn to open a gift and Chris handed me a box. On the tag it said “To Mom From Your Worst Enemy”. Well, that cracked me up right there so now I was really wondering what was inside. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw – a sawed up toy Corvette!! We all dissolved into loud laughter! So that was what that loud noise had been the night before – he was sawing that car up! Oh good grief – that was SO funny! We laughed about it all day. After that I kind of laid off the Corvette remarks when he was around though so I guess it had the desired effect :-).

And here’s a photo of the tag and the gift. Thanks Chris for one of the greatest gag gifts ever in HackFam Christmas Lore.

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Becoming Santa Claus

December 6, 2012

Happy St. Nicholas Day all! Yes, the shoes were put by the “fireplace” last night with Christmas wish lists inside. St. Nicholas came early this morning with a bag of chocolate coins for each child and the lists taken away to be fulfilled on Christmas Eve. It is a lovely tradition and one which I wish I had embraced much earlier in our marriage. Oh well – it wasn’t too late to start and the kids really enjoy it. We will also enjoy stollens today (get them at Aldi) as a treat. I pick either a spice cake or the stollens because St. Nicholas was from Myra which I believe was in Turkey and spices abound in that region. If you want a really good book to read on the life of St. Nicholas you can’t beat this one. It is unfortunately out of print, but if you are lucky enough to find one get it. I bought it for $10 years ago at Wal-Mart and so glad I picked it up.

St. Nicholas became Santa Claus through the ages and through traditions brought here by immigrants from other countries. He is not just the giver of gifts and a great help to those in need – he is a Christian first and foremost. His faith was what brought him to sainthood – faith in a time when Christians were often persecuted yet he hung on. The giving was part of his nature – who he was – and so it was no big deal to him. To us, anonymous giving can sometimes be difficult, for our ego desires the kudos. But if you can do it, there is nothing funner than giving to someone unexpectedly and without any expectation of repayment or thanks. Don’t we as parents do this for our children every Christmas? Let’s extend that to others as much as we can then! Even if all you can do is pull 2 cans of food out of your cupboard to share with someone else in need you are still doing the work of Christ living in St. Nicholas/Santa Claus.

Now for a story – I am going to share a few this month as my children and I have some that will go down in the annals of HackFam Christmas stories. I don’t think I ever shared this one (and if I have forgive me), but it’s one of the best stories of giving and love I can share.

Back in 2008 when the bottom dropped out of the economy and many people were staring down the barrel at an empty Christmas, I had all but given up hope for something good for our family. It was the beginning of our last round of financial troubles and Christmas was looking bleak. However I was determined to light a candle and not curse the darkness. We made some cookies and I spent more time in prayer that Advent than usual – nothing like troubles to bring you closer to God. The children knew it wasn’t going to be a big Christmas (if we had anything at all) and some of them weren’t going to be content to let that be.

My son Jeff (who is one of many Christmas lunatics in this house) loves the tree above everything else. It just isn’t Christmas if there is no tree. Well, not having a tree that year wasn’t an option. He had just recently started working for Walmart and decided that our house needed some Christmas spirit in it even if there was nothing else. So, he bought a tree and while I slept upstairs he brought it in to the living room (with the help of Dad) and set it up complete with a Santa hat on top as the star. It would be the first thing I would see in the morning. And see it I did and I cried many tears.

So, how did the rest of that Christmas work out you ask? Very nicely! We received gift cards from an anonymous donor and my other adult child sent money from 1500 miles away (it was from Santa and showed up mysteriously on my pillow one night – he had help from that other elf known as Chris.) We didn’t have a lot but what we had was enough and the joy of the giving that was shared by so many of our family that year brightened our day beyond belief. We still talk about that Christmas and I think it will always be remembered.

There you have it – a Christmas Story as good as O Henry’s and one that will always remain in my heart. And here’s that famous tree :-).

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» 2012 » December » Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

An Oh Crap Afternoon

December 17, 2012

The TV That Was Brought By Elves

December 12, 2012

Christmas Revenge

December 7, 2012

Becoming Santa Claus

December 6, 2012

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