Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

My Second Son Leaves Home

March 11, 2012

SO, I am pondering all of the last 23 years as my second son, Jeffrey, leaves home today. He is packed and ready to go – we just need to load up the van and hug him and wish him well and let the tears flow as I watch him fly on his own.

Of all the things I remember about any of my children’s lives, it is the day of their birth that is most vivid in my memory. With Jeff I had a month of false labor and down at the end I had a ritual of The Dating Game, m&m’s, and a Pepsi Slurpee while sitting in front of the window air conditioner (he was an August baby). When he finally arrived, I ended up with a c-section and he screamed for most of the time afterward until they got him in his bed I think. After we got him home though – quiet as a mouse. He was so very different from Matt and still is to this day. At 3 months old he was a night owl. He woke up at 3am every morning and didn’t go back to sleep until 6am or so. And yes, he is still a night owl too.

Jeff has always been more of a thinker and introvert than Matt and Chris and his passions range from writing stories to biology to making up new versions of pies. He is also a gamer and has almost a complete collection of Nintendo handheld systems – that impressed me and I’m encouraging him to complete it. That is a collection to be proud of in my book!

He also is compassionate and loving and I think it’s a great way to be. Most men do not let their feelings be known, but he is more sensitive and it shows and I know it’s not the way men are taught to be or think they ought to be, but truly it’s okay. This is one of my favorite moments in HackFam history and I want to tell this story to let you know the kind of children I have (yes, bragging coming up – I’m allowed).

In 2008 I had my meltdown and that was also the beginning of our financial meltdown too. It was looking like a no Christmas Christmas that year and as the weeks went by I was wondering what I was going to do. One morning, I went downstairs and in the living room was a huge Christmas tree with a Santa hat on top. I cried quietly so no one would hear and I knew who it was who had bought it. Jeff wanted to make sure we at least had a tree even if that was all we had – we needed some Christmas in the house. That was so much fun decorating that tree and to this day I get teary thinking of it. That Christmas turned out to be one the most precious we’ve had because even though we had little money we had each other and the hope of better days ahead.

When Matt went to college, Jeff and I spent more time together and our relationship grew even more. I’m glad for every moment we’ve had – even the not so good ones. We’ve had many opportunities to relate experiences and talk and grow. We’ve also more than our share of fun times and.

As I write this, he and his dad have left and we had our goodbyes. All I could do was hold on and cry before he left as if to hold on to that baby he used to be. It was like the years just slipped through my fingers in those short moments all coming down to this letting go. There are so many stories and so much we have shared through the years but it all comes down to this: I am SO proud of you Jeff – proud of the man you’ve become and proud of just who you are! I know that you will find your passion and you will excel at it when you do! We’ve had so much fun together and I’m thankful for every moment we’ve had!! I love you Jeff!!

2 comments
Comments

On March 12, 2012 at 4:42 AM, dxprog said:

He's like the Dick Clark of our family - he just doesn't change.

On March 12, 2012 at 4:33 PM, java_queen said:

I thought about that as I looked through the pictures too :-).

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