Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Eating Together

June 26, 2011

I am reading a book called Keeping House: The Litany of Everyday Life by Margaret Kim Peterson, and this morning was finishing up Chapter 6 on Food to Eat. One of the things she mentions is eating together at the table. Now, this is something that has gone by the wayside in at least the last decade if not the last two or more. No longer do families eat together at least one meal a day – usually supper (or dinner – whichever you call it) as they are all running in different directions. Yet, this is usually the one time that is perfect for a family to come together to share their days with each other. It is a real shame and even the food channels I watch on tv encourage families to cook and eat together. When my oldest son was away at college, he was talking with other students about family life and found out that our family evening meal was an exception rather than the rule and it really surprised him. He was under the impression that all families still ate together and yet, very few do. It was a shock to him, yet it also gave him resolve to continue the tradition of eating together as a family when he has children of his own.

She connects eating with Christian living as well and I’d never really thouht about it before, although I’m sure I’ve heard sermons on the topic. She mentions four meals: The Passover meal, the Eucharistic meal, and the Wedding Banquet of the Lamb. All of these are shared meals. Then she mentions the first meal – the eating of the apple – it was done apart from each other. Eve at first then later gave the fruit to Adam – not communal. Huh – never thought about that! I will here make a confession – during my depression over the last 3-4 years I had stopped going to Mass most Sundays. Why? I’m not really sure. Some if it is because it was just another difficult thing to do and I was trying so hard just to keep my head above water with basic living. Some if is because all I could do was sit there and cry every Sunday. So, I stayed home with my two youngest daughters each Sunday. Recently, I have been attending Mass again and it feels normal again and I’m happy to be there. My next step is Holy Communion and here – what she says about these meals with God and each other – really spoke to me this morning. When we go to Communion it is not just communion with Christ we are receiving, but communion with each other, for it is One Bread One Body – we are eating a meal together. We are in communion with each other! Breaking away from church and communion not just broke myself off from Jesus but also from the family of God! Wow – now that’s something I’d never thought of before!

Now, here is another interesting thing that kind of binds it together – we have a small table for 10 people which means we do not all fit around it for meals. I am usually the last to eat, but mostly by choice because I want my children to eat first making sure they get fed. Sometimes if I’m extremely hungry I will fill a bowl or plate and eat at the couch. Most days I wait until there is a spot at the table. Even though it is something I chose, it has in a way broken me off from my family. I am not at the table to eat the food or partake of the conversation – especially not if I’m watching tv while they are eating which does happen. This is not communion (oneness, union) either! Now that Matt is on his own, and the other two older boys are sometimes not at home when we eat dinner, I can sit with my husband and five younger children at the table and eat the meal with them. This has been a profound thing for me and now I know why – I am in communion with my family again! I do not feel cut off any longer.

So, today is the Feast of Corpus Christi – the Feast of the Body and Blood of Christ – which is a major feast day in the Catholic Church and brings all the feasting of Easter to a close. I should have gone to confession yesterday so that I could go to Holy Communion today, but I didn’t. However, I will be at Mass as this is one of my favorite feast days in the church. When we attended the Latin Mass at another parish, one of the parishioners would decorate the walkways to each of the three altars with beautiful chalk drawings. We had the traditional procession from altar to altar and people driving along the street would slow down and watch us crazy Catholics :-). One year, our priest got out a megaphone so that everyone could hear what he was saying and I loved it – evangelizing the neighborhood. But, I digress. I will be at Mass and think on all these things Mrs. Peterson has said about food, meal sharing, and community and begin to take my place in the church community again. I can see that Christ is making all things in me new and I will go rejoicing to the altar of God – the God who gives joy to my youth.

4 comments
Comments

On June 26, 2011 at 10:50 PM, Joyce said:

I think it is our farming life that keeps our family together at dinner, which is our noon meal. Our supper time (evening meal) got haphazard when our daughter was in ballet and she & I got home past supper time. It continues to be a meal that is hit & miss.
I'm thankful you are back at the table and that it has been a blessing. I'm sure to the rest of your family as well. :hug:

On June 28, 2011 at 1:44 AM, java_queen said:

I agree - farm life does lend itself to family meals. I think you were smart to make the family meal the noon day one since evenings are more hectic. :0)

On June 27, 2011 at 3:57 PM, Val said:

I agree--sharing the evening meal as a family is a wonderful thing. This is something we have done with the kids as they were growing up. Now that we are about to be empty-nesters, I will miss that a lot.

On June 28, 2011 at 1:45 AM, java_queen said:

When the kids come home have special meals or foods for them - family meals can still happen. I try to make Matt's favorite foods when he is here visiting - it keeps the home fires burning.

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