Oh Crap! – Musings of an Unperfect Mommy

Music Monday

June 28, 2011

If you really don’t like pop music, now is the time to look away :-). However, if you lived through the 80’s and enjoyed the music as much as I did then read on! Today I’m going to give my take on….Wham’s album “Make It Big”.

This is a quintessential pop album – each and every song is a good ballad or pop song and some even throwbacks to the 60’s and 70’s. However, the lyrics in these songs are not as simple as the pop tunes would have you think. Oh sure, a couple are just cute tunes, but some have words that really get to the heart of an issue. For me the lyrics are more important than the music, so I do listen carefully to songs. If the words are crummy forget it – I’m not listening. So, let’s quit the chit chat and get to the heart of this post.

1. “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” – Yeah, just a whimsical pop song here. Hated the video but loved the song.

2. “Everything She Wants” – A song about a woman who is not satisfied with real love, just real things. The poor guy in this song is working 2 jobs just so his wife can have all the stuff she thinks will make her happy. I like this song because back in the 80’s most of us were riding a wave of credit card and shopping fun. Until we went broke and went into debt, then the stuff doesn’t look so good then. A good song with a timely message.

3. “Heartbeat” – Cute song about high school romances. Stupid high school romances – you’re happy with one girl until you see someone else and then forget the other girl. Wow. Pretty standard stuff eh?

4. “Like A Baby” – A much more sophisticated song in terms of both music and lyrics. I LOVE this one!! It is a sad song about a girl who leads a boy on, but has no real interest in him. Unfortunately he’s fallen hard for her and “now you’ve gone away….left me crying like a baby”. *sniff*

5. “Freedom” – Another cute pop song, but it really is about the 80’s culture of having a lot of relationships, but nothing serious. However, the boy in the song doesn’t want that kind of “freedom”, he wants a real true one on one relationship that lasts. I applaud this one because this is how love should be and how relationships should be, and not a using of another person.

6. “If You Were There” – It’s a pop song that’s sweet, but really not one of my favorites. So, maybe I’ll listen to it again and get back with you.

7. “Credit Card Baby” – Another song about money and relationships. Not as profound as Everything She Wants, but more of a you can have my money, but you can’t have my heart because I’m not going there if all you really care about is money and stuff.

8. “Careless Whisper” – LOVED this song back then and love it now with one exception. The line, “guilty feet have got no rhythm” almost make me feel dumb for listening to it. Otherwise, sophisticated sound and tragic lyrics make a great 80’s ballad.

Well, that’s my two cents on this album. FWIW, yes, I did buy this from Amazon and I’m enjoying listening to it again. I’ll admit, I was listening tot his after I had Matt and I felt really old and like I shouldn’t be listening to it because it seemed so young for me. Oh brother.

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An addendum to yesterday’s post

June 27, 2011

I want to add a little note to my post yesterday particularly concerning the part where I talk about our smallish table being only able to seat 8 of us. Now, anyone who can subtract 8 from 10 realizes that leaves 2 people out of the action and not just one and you would be correct. The other person who usually waited for a spot at the table was Matt. Sometimes it was Jeff or Chris, but most of the time it was Matt. I know he wasn’t thrilled with it, but he didn’t often complain either. Big family life does have a lot of perks, but there is a lot of sharing and sacrifice involved too and my kids have learned a lot about those things. So, I just wanted to make that clarification. FWIW – one of these days we will have a new table that will have extensions so that we can ALL eat a meal together. Of course, once people get married and have kids we’ll be back to the usual or have to add card tables to seat everyone. Oh well, at least we know the drill :-).

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Eating Together

June 26, 2011

I am reading a book called Keeping House: The Litany of Everyday Life by Margaret Kim Peterson, and this morning was finishing up Chapter 6 on Food to Eat. One of the things she mentions is eating together at the table. Now, this is something that has gone by the wayside in at least the last decade if not the last two or more. No longer do families eat together at least one meal a day – usually supper (or dinner – whichever you call it) as they are all running in different directions. Yet, this is usually the one time that is perfect for a family to come together to share their days with each other. It is a real shame and even the food channels I watch on tv encourage families to cook and eat together. When my oldest son was away at college, he was talking with other students about family life and found out that our family evening meal was an exception rather than the rule and it really surprised him. He was under the impression that all families still ate together and yet, very few do. It was a shock to him, yet it also gave him resolve to continue the tradition of eating together as a family when he has children of his own.

She connects eating with Christian living as well and I’d never really thouht about it before, although I’m sure I’ve heard sermons on the topic. She mentions four meals: The Passover meal, the Eucharistic meal, and the Wedding Banquet of the Lamb. All of these are shared meals. Then she mentions the first meal – the eating of the apple – it was done apart from each other. Eve at first then later gave the fruit to Adam – not communal. Huh – never thought about that! I will here make a confession – during my depression over the last 3-4 years I had stopped going to Mass most Sundays. Why? I’m not really sure. Some if it is because it was just another difficult thing to do and I was trying so hard just to keep my head above water with basic living. Some if is because all I could do was sit there and cry every Sunday. So, I stayed home with my two youngest daughters each Sunday. Recently, I have been attending Mass again and it feels normal again and I’m happy to be there. My next step is Holy Communion and here – what she says about these meals with God and each other – really spoke to me this morning. When we go to Communion it is not just communion with Christ we are receiving, but communion with each other, for it is One Bread One Body – we are eating a meal together. We are in communion with each other! Breaking away from church and communion not just broke myself off from Jesus but also from the family of God! Wow – now that’s something I’d never thought of before!

Now, here is another interesting thing that kind of binds it together – we have a small table for 10 people which means we do not all fit around it for meals. I am usually the last to eat, but mostly by choice because I want my children to eat first making sure they get fed. Sometimes if I’m extremely hungry I will fill a bowl or plate and eat at the couch. Most days I wait until there is a spot at the table. Even though it is something I chose, it has in a way broken me off from my family. I am not at the table to eat the food or partake of the conversation – especially not if I’m watching tv while they are eating which does happen. This is not communion (oneness, union) either! Now that Matt is on his own, and the other two older boys are sometimes not at home when we eat dinner, I can sit with my husband and five younger children at the table and eat the meal with them. This has been a profound thing for me and now I know why – I am in communion with my family again! I do not feel cut off any longer.

So, today is the Feast of Corpus Christi – the Feast of the Body and Blood of Christ – which is a major feast day in the Catholic Church and brings all the feasting of Easter to a close. I should have gone to confession yesterday so that I could go to Holy Communion today, but I didn’t. However, I will be at Mass as this is one of my favorite feast days in the church. When we attended the Latin Mass at another parish, one of the parishioners would decorate the walkways to each of the three altars with beautiful chalk drawings. We had the traditional procession from altar to altar and people driving along the street would slow down and watch us crazy Catholics :-). One year, our priest got out a megaphone so that everyone could hear what he was saying and I loved it – evangelizing the neighborhood. But, I digress. I will be at Mass and think on all these things Mrs. Peterson has said about food, meal sharing, and community and begin to take my place in the church community again. I can see that Christ is making all things in me new and I will go rejoicing to the altar of God – the God who gives joy to my youth.

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Don’t Worry – Be Happy

June 24, 2011

Ah it’s finally Friday!! I’ve had an emotional week so today I thought I’d ruminate on that song that defined the 1980’s but is also not a bad adage for one’s life.

Here is a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don’t worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don’t worry, be happy……

I am a worrier by nature and I agree here, when you worry you are just making things worse. I read in this book that “worrying is just something you do while waiting for the real thing to happen”. Hmmm – yes, I think that’s an accurate description of worry for me.

Ain’t got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don’t worry, be happy
The land lord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don’t worry, be happy
Lood at me I am happy

Ah yes, financial worries, well ours are coming to a close finally. This month we make the last payment to the last creditor after doing the infamous debt snowball and I am SO glad!! Sure we may not have debtor’s prisons anymore, but it FEELS like it when you’re being called constantly and they want more money than you can give them and on and on. The smartest thing I did was A) stop making payments at all and use that money to build up my pantry and buy a few clothing items my kids really needed. The second smartest thing I did – stop taking any calls from these jokers. Yep, that’s right I only called them when I needed to and otherwise just didn’t pick the phone up for a year and a half. I also gave it all to Jesus and he backed me up and here we are almost paid off!! WHOO!! Today I was out with Maggie and decided to stop by Starbucks to get us both a Frappucinno because WE CAN! I think we can also assume he is talking about contentment – being happy with what you have in spite of what you don’t. I have to say I have been cultivating an attitude of gratitude and it really does help. Your life won’t be free of problems, but you will be happier with what you have than worrying about the stuff you don’t.

Here I give you my phone number
When you worry call me
I make you happy
Don’t worry, be happy

Having friends does help with happiness. While I have no “IRL” friends, I do have pen pal friends and they are true and real friends indeed! It has taken me to go out of my comfort zone to stay involved and work on these relationships, but it has been so very worth it.

Ain’t got not girl to make you smile
But don’t worry be happy
Cause when you worry
Your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don’t worry, be happy (now)…..

Speaking of style, we are getting a free preview month of OWN network and what is on every morning at 8am cst?? What Not To Wear!! YES!! So, I’ve been enjoying some episodes from 2005 and 2006 including the infamous “Peanut” episode – that one makes me laugh my butt off!! Soon we won’t get the free preview and I won’t get to see Stacy and Clinton anymore, but I’m trying to decide if I want to up our Dish package so we can get TLC and WNTW again. Of course it will come with ESPN and I’m already a tech and sports widow and just not sure this is the way to go. Oh, and I do think my style has improved a little since watching the show :-).

There is this little song I wrote
I hope you learn it note for note
(Like good little children)
Don’t worry, be happy
(Listen to what I say)
In your life expect some trouble
But when you worry
You make it double
Don’t worry, be happy……
Don’t worry don’t do it, be happy
Put a smile on your face
Don’t bring everybody down like this
Don’t worry, it will soon past
Whatever it is
Don’t worry, be happy

Oh yeah EXPECT trouble – someone forgot to give me that memo apparently. In the last 6 years we have: replaced two refrigerators, replaced a washer and dryer, replaced one stove, replaced two water heaters, replaced two air conditioners, had numerous plumbing episodes, replaced a stolen cd player from car, and had our van repaired several times. Some of us just have more trouble than others. It’s no wonder I worry! However, I try to put my trust in God where it belongs, even if it’s hard to do some days. Maybe I should take these four little words to heart and sing the song when things go wrong. Who knows, maybe I’ll just laugh it off and be able to move forward easier. Worrying sure doesn’t bring results.

So, that’s my expounding on the song and my week and my life :-). Matt is coming home for the weekend and we’re going to watch Tron Classic and Tron Legacy this weekend so that should be fun. Here’s to not worrying and being happy just in the present moment for worrying about tomorrow does no good.

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Music Monday

June 20, 2011

Today is the day!! Yes, that’s right, I finally burned my new Summer Mix CD on Friday!! So without further ado – here’s what I’m listening to (with a few comments):

1. Stand and Deliver – Adam and the Ants – He’s so dreamy in the video

2. Rock Lobster – B52’s – Best summer song EVER!

3. Cruel Summer – Bananarama

4. Walk Like An Egyptian – The Bangles

5. The Metro – Berlin

6. White Wedding – Billy Idol

7. Cuts Like A Knife – Brian Adams

8. Drive – The Cars

9. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper

10. You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) – Dead or Alive – Remember records??

11. Only In My Dreams – Debbie Gibson

12. Photograph – Def Leppard

13. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This – Eurythmics – Classic 80’s

14. Juke Box Hero – Foreigner – Reminds me of going to the video arcade on Friday nights, oh, and remember juke boxes??

15. Vacation – Go-Go’s – One of my favorite songs of all time!

16. I Want A New Drug – Huey Lewis – NOT about drugs

17. The One Thing – INXS

18. No Way Out – Starship

19. Missing You – John Waite

20. Holiday – Madonna

21. Down Under – Men At Work

22. I Melt With You – Modern English

23. Only The Lonely – The Motels

24. Safety Dance – Men Without Hats

25. Every Time You Go Away – Paul Young

26. Oh Sherrie – Steve Perry

27. Everybody Wants To Rule the World – Tears for Fears

28. Mickey – Toni Basil

29. Panama – Van Halen

30. China – Red Rockers

31. Turning Japanese – The Vapors

32. Cars – Gary Numan – New Wave trend – remember that?

33. Suddenly Last Summer – The Motels

34. Karma Chameleon – Culture Club

35. Don’t You (Forget About Me) – Simple Minds

36. Life In A Northern Town – The Dream Academy

37. Don’t Dream It’s Over – Crowded House

38. Holding Back the Years – Simply Red – Absolutely timeless

39. Don’t Worry Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin – Catch phrase for the 80’s

40. thirtysomething (title song) – Stewart Levin

PHEW!! Did you see some of your favorites? I hope so – it’s not a complete list by any means, but it’s a great mix of summer music that brings back many memories of summers past for me. Be back next week for my take on Wham’s “Make It Big” album :-).

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How many Oh Crap Moments Does It Take

June 19, 2011

How many Oh Crap moments does it take to make a mommy crazy? *CRUNCH* The world may never know :-). Here’s a a summary of my week:

1. Tornado warning on Tuesday

2. Tornado warning last night.

3. Go to Mass this morning and find that Joe’s pants not only have a big hole in them but they are too big and he’s having to use a homemade belt. I take him home to put the only pants he had that were clean – shorts.

4. I forgot about the hell of trying to back our 15 passenger van out of a small parking spot while locked in on all sides. I managed but then when we got back, I parked WAY down the row so it wouldn’t happen again. Oh, and I said a bad word. In the church parking lot.

5. Go to Wal-Mart to buy pork chops for today’s Father’s Day dinner with all five younger kids in tow plus husband. I guess I should have asked Mike to help along the way because by the time we get to the checkout and I’m hoping he’ll drag out HIS debit card I’m ready to blow up. I paid and then drove home so I could stop by Starbucks Drive Thru for a cup o’comfort.

6. Find out I’ve gained 5 pounds last month :-(.

Those were the memorable ones and I think there were others. Let’s hope this week isn’t as bad although it will start with more severe storms tomorrow night. I’m tired just thinking about it.

ETA: Oh yeah, I forgot about Becky’s daily meltdowns this week. Good thing I still have some chocolate pudding in the fridge.

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Matt’s Big Birthday Bash

June 14, 2011

Matt arrived in town on Friday evening just in time for good food – I guess it was good although I cannot recall at this time what it was. Oh well. He stayed through the weekend and we celebrated his 25th birthday on Sunday. I have to say it was a good time! He and I went shopping on Saturday which yielded a lot of time for talking which we really haven’t done a lot of since he left. Usually he stays up late at his place, while 8:30 is my bedtime. Chris didn’t have to work late Saturday night which left more time for the boys to hang out as well. We capped off the evening with a rousing game of Mhing – well, we actually played 5 games. Note to self: buy snacks for these game-a-thons!

Sunday I stayed home from Mass and this gave Matt and I more time to chat. I have to say, I think I talked ALOT – sorry Matt. I don’t usually have adults to talk to and I think I just went overboard. It was fun though. We also had fun playing around with Matt’s new ipad and Chris’s Blackberry pad thingee (have no idea what it’s called). I also made the famed potato salad and when Mike and the others got home from church, it was time to BBQ!! Burgers, hot dogs, and potato salads were the main items and cake and ice cream were dessert later. Mike and Matt played catch with the littles outside, while I took the time to just lay around like a lump.

After lunch, Matt, Jeff, Chris, and Steve went for a long-ish walk and then returned for the birthday celebration!! His gifts were a huge bag of Dum Dums, Ramen Noodles and a cookbook to go with them. Then, it was lemon cake, vanilla ice cream, and lime sherbet. YUM! About 6pm Matt went back home. I have to say, it is a little awkward sometimes when he arrives and leaves as we don’t know how to do that in our new normal, but we’re getting the hang of it. A good time was had by all and it was a splendid weekend of fun. Here are some pictures I took to commemorate the event.

Looking over the garden.

For some it is too hot to play outside.

Burgers - yum!

One older brother throwing a ball...

...one younger brother catching a ball.

Helping dad grill

We gather together...

The Birthday Boy...er... Man!

He says those 250 Dum Dums should last a week.

Perusing Ramen Noodle recipes - I think I need that book too!

Big family life and love.

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Music Monday

June 13, 2011

Yeah, yeah, I still haven’t posted my summertime music post yet….I’ll get there. Today I am reflective, and I was listening to REO Good Trouble and “The Key” played. That song is MY song and says so much about my struggles for so very long and I thought let’s post the words and some reflections on that today.

It is a song about having emotional issues and wishing you knew how to get inside yourself and work it out for the good, but it is so very hard. Sometimes we don’t even know what the issues are until someone comes along and gives you a push in that direction. No one can do that work but you – no one can work through your issues and “set the demon free” but yourself. My issues were many, but I have worked through much of it with still a little work to do. The key for me was facing all the yucky stuff, giving it a name, grieving for the losses I had, forgiving, and moving on. I am in the forgiving stage and maybe after that I can finally move on because really, I am ready to move on. I am ready to let all that stuff be behind me now and to be me and accept myself as I am. We really are the ones who hold the key to heal what hurts us inside, but sometimes we do need help to find out how we can do that. God and two counselors helped me through this one and I’m thankful for all three. Yes, even the idiot counselor for he was able to pinpoint exactly what the problems were finally. If you are struggling don’t stop trying to find your key and don’t stop trying to find someone who will help you – you are worth it!

I couldn’t sleep at all last night my mind was racin’

I left so much behind to find the dream that I was chasin’

And now I have a need to take a look at what is real.

I need to learn to live and love and breathe and touch and feel

But all I really know is what I see

And everybody sees it differently

I wish someone would open up my heart and look inside of me

But I’m the only one who holds the key

Your body lay aglow as if to show you peacefully dreamin’

So only you could know that deep inside somebody was screamin’

And calling out to anyone who could help you through the night

And hoping that someone would come along to make it right

But all you really know is what you see

And everybody sees it differently

I wish someone could open up your soul and set the demon free

But you’re the only one who holds the key

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Matt is 25 today…um…yesterday!

June 9, 2011

Yep, my oldest is now 25 years old and that makes me….old. I was 23 years old when he was born and if you can add you can figure out my age.

I remember very vividly the day Matt was born: the thrill of my water breaking and going into labor. Very slowly going into labor. In fact, Matt’s dad figured he’d just go to McDonald’s for breakfast after dropping me off at the hospital :-/. For my part, I used up all my knowledge of those childbirth classes in the first three hours. I ended up with a long, long labor. How long was my labor? Almost 24 hours people!! And in the end, after they had to drag him out with the forceps, they put him on my belly and he was….asleep. So, the doctor said, “And now we’re going to cut off his oxygen supply” and cut the cord. Instant screaming from Matt and of course it was the best sound in the world. Until it was repeated time and time again.

It is really hard to believe that 25 years have come and gone since that day and now that little baby is out on his own in the world and has a job and a car and an apartment and all the bills that go with all that. Yep, those years went by very fast indeed.

Happy Birthday Matt!! I know you had to spend yesterday on your own, but you will be home this weekend for your big birthday bbq bash complete with potato salad since you missed it a couple of weeks ago. Oh, and here’s a picture of that sweetie when he was just a few weeks old. All together now – awwwww!

ETA: All joking aside, I love you Matt – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

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Making Butter and Banana Bread

June 8, 2011

First of all – today is Matt’s 25th birthday and rest assured there will be blackmail fodder later – bwahahahaha! Now on with today’s story :-).

I took out the Homestead Blessings Dairy Delights DVD from the library and watched the segment on making butter from scratch. I remembered how I did that in my kindergarten class eons ago, and remembered how I’d always wanted to do it with my kids, but never got around to it. So, enough with the excuses already – it was time to make butter!! So, I bought a quart of (really expensive) heavy whipping cream and borrowed two canning jars from my mom and we were ready. Yes, that’s right – it’s that simple. Did I take pictures? Well, of course I did – and here’s part of the process:

First we put two cups of cream into each jar, screwed the lids on tight, and the kids shook those things for all they were worth.

It takes awhile for the cream to change from liquid to whipped cream to butter so the kids and I kept shaking. At one point we thought it was done, but it still was heavily whipped cream, so we put it back in the jar and shook some more. Finally, Maggie hollered that the butter was forming into a ball and there was liquid coming out and indeed the butter was made!

We then separated the butter from the buttermilk ( buttermilk is the liquid that comes off the butter as it is made) and then squished as much of the buttermilk out of the butter as we could. It took a few minutes, but we knew when it was done.

After all the hard work, we tried out the butter on some saltines – just like when I was in kindergarten. That butter tastes so good! I didn’t salt it because really I prefer the unsalted kind, but you could if you want to.

Then it was time to fill a container with our fresh, homemade, sweet cream butter and put it in the fridge. It was such a feeling of satisfaction!

After we got cleaned up from that mess, it was time to make the banana bread. It was a really easy recipe, but as you can see from the picture, I forgot one tiny detail – I neglected to see that the bigger pans only make 2 loaves, not 4. Oh crap. I think they’ll be yummy anyway and we can put homemade butter on the slices!

It has been a very full day, but it’s also been very enjoyable and memorable for both me and the kiddos. I would encourage you if you’ve never made butter before to give it a go – it’s totally worth it!

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